Women, Polygamy and Islam

It has been considered for years that Islam does not give equal rights to men and women, and consider women only subject of comfort for males. This opinion has been delivered time and time again by renowned women activists but their basis of arguments being only the alleged facts. Their main argument is against the permission given towards polygamy in Islam. But many scholars who have gone through the pain in studying what Islam actually says have different opinion. They agree, in general, that Islam’s approach to polygamy is most balanced and rational and is based on the moral, psychological and physiological demands of men and women (The Independent 13).

It should be remembered that taking more than one wife is only permissible, not ordained by the Quran – as some ‘progressive’ activist would like to believe. The Quranic verse that allows polygamy should be read in the context it was revealed. The Verse says, “And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two, three and four, but if you fear that you may not do justice to them, then (marry) only one” (4: 3). This verse was revealed after the battle of Uhud. In that battle, many Muslim men died and as such a great social problem for the protection of widows and orphans arose, necessitating an institutionalized polygamy for a convenient solution of the problem.

Some of the eminent Western scholars who actually studied Islam, quite blatantly criticized the Western and other self proclaimed writers for venting their opinion as facts. In her book The Life and Teachings of Muhammed, Dr. Annie Besant, the renowned English leader of Theosophical Movement, says: ” There is pretended monogamy in the West, but in reality, there is polygamy without responsibility; the mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her … the first lover has no responsibility for her future, and she is a hundred times worst off then the sheltered wife in a polygamous home. “When we see thousands of miserable women who crowd the streets of Western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in the Western mouth to reproach Islam for polygamy. It is better for woman, happier for woman, more respectable for woman to live in polygamy, united to one man, only with a legitimate child in her arms and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced and then cast out into the streets perhaps with illegitimate child outside the rule of law, uncared, unsheltered, to become victim of any passer-by, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood despised by all. “You can find others,” continues Annie Besant, “stating that religion Islam is evil because it sanctions a limited polygamy. But you do not hear as a rule the criticism … that monogamy with a blended mass of prostitution was a hypocrisy and more degrading than a limited polygamy. “… it must be remembered that the law of Islam in relation to women was until lately, when parts of it was imitated initiated in England, the most just law, as far as women are concerned, to be found in the world. Dealing with property, …rights of succession,… cases of divorce, it was far beyond the law of the West, in the respect which was paid to the rights of women. Those things are forgotten while people are hypnotized by the words monogamy and polygamy and do not look at what lies behind it in the West – the frightful degradation of women…”

Divorce in Islam

The next point of confrontation regarding women is the issue of divorce. It is a well accepted thought that Islam allows the husband to get rid of his wife on his free will, any time he likes by uttering a particular word three times repeatedly. This idea is totally baseless and has got nothing to do with Islam is quite clear when one takes the pain of studying it. first of all, the marriage in Islam is a social contract, and it can be dissolved if it proves, in any way, injurious or incompatible to the wife or to the husband. The wife has been given as much right to obtain the divorce as the husband. But the process of divorce has been set with a time limit of three months, so that a major decision like this is not taken in a moment of anger, and then both of them reproaches it after their anger vents out. This has been clearly instructed in the Holy Quran, but made unnecessarily confused by some elite class to suite their own purpose. On the Timing of divorce: ” O Prophet! if ye do divorce woman, divorce them at their prescribed periods, and count (accurately) their prescribed periods: And fear Allah, your Lord: And turn them not out of your houses, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of open lewdness ” (LXV: 1). On waiting periods for divorced women: ” Divorced woman must wait three monthly courses. And it is not lawful for them to hide what Allah has created in their wombs, if they sincerely believe in Allah and the last day…” (2:228) Thus a clear three months period is mandatory before the final pronouncement is to be given. Each pronouncement of Talaq has to be made with a month’s increment between it, so that their is chance that the couple repents and decide to continue their life together. After all, the prophet’s saying goes ‘Divorce is most disliked by Allah among all permissible things.’ As women have got full rights to decide on to their separations, they also have full rights to chose partners in marriage, which is against what the ‘learned’ class would like to believe. No marriage in Islam is valid unless the bride and the bride-groom give their verbal consents regarding their marriage.

Status of Women in Islam

The status given to the women by Islam is another point of conflict as most of the “literate lots” would very much like to believe that women in Islam are still unliberated. However, it would be pointless to defend Islam by saying that Islam did give Women full equality in all respect to men (as some scholars defending Islam tried to do), as in reality, Islam does recognize the fact that women and men have their differences on the basis of their physical and physiological aspects, which is clearly stated in the Holy Quran in the following verses: “… Wives have the same rights as the husbands have on them in accordance with the generally known principles. Ofcourse, men are a degree above them in status, and above all is Allah, the All-Mighty, the All-Wise” (2: 228). “Men are in charge of women because Allah has made the one superior to the other and because men spend their wealth on women” (4: 34).

Thus, in Islam, men and women have absolute equality in stature, but with a complete difference in labor. Being subjected to the responsibility of taking care of the house-holds, is considered somewhat degrading nowadays, forwarding the possible idea that Islam has kept women away from nation building. But if we are to consider Napoleon’s saying that ‘Give me a good mother; I will give you a good nation’, then we can see that in reality nation building starts at home, and failure to learn correct guidance at home would lead the generations to degrade, without even being concerned over it. In fact the Islamic concept of household is that it is the smallest unit in the greater organization of the Nation as a whole. The home is a little kingdom where authority is exercised by both husband and wife.

Source: http://members.tripod.com/islamiczone/women.htm

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Polygamy Between Islam and the West

Question:   My question is in regards to having multiple wives. I’ve been told several times by non-muslims that this is immoral and unfair to the women. I tried to explain to them that the women are treated equally and that it is a Western perception that this is an immoral act, but they didn’t seem to understand. Can you help me to explain myself more eloquently the next time the question arises?
Salam.
Answer:  Salam,

Thank you very much for your important question.
Allah Almighty is the creator of all the human beings. He knows what is good and what is bad for them. He also knows their particular needs. He says what means:
*{Does He not know, Who created? And He is the Knower of the subtleties, the Aware.}* (Al-Mulk 67:14)

Allah Almighty also says what means:

*{And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice [between them], then [marry] only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.}* (An-Nisaa’ 4:3)

It is important to note that polygamy is only allowed and not urged to be done.
When the West talks about polygamy in Islam, they refer to it as something weird and should not be valid in the human’s nature. However, polygamy was known from the very first day of existence of mankind on Earth. Neither, Jewish nor Christians forbid polygamy. On the contrary, the prophets of the Jews and Christians were known as polygamous. For example, King Sulayman (Solomon) is said to have had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. Dawud (David) had ninety-nine and Ya`qub (Jacob) had four. Christianity, as well didn’t forbid polygamy at all, as there is no single word banning polygamy in their scripts.How would polygamy in Islam be unfair to women? Islam, as mentioned above, didn’t urge men to become polygamous, it only allowed it for certain purposes. Justice among wives is a clear restricted condition on the Muslim man who wants to marry another wife. That is clearly stated in the verse mentioned above (An-Nisaa’ 4:3). Whereas the West which is arrogantly refusing polygamy has different types of it, some of them are dangerous either psychologically or even physically for the society as a whole.
Types of polygamy known in the West:
Actually there are three kinds of polygamy practiced in Western societies:
 

 

  • Serial polygamy, that is, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce and so on any number of times.
  • A man married to one woman but having and supporting one or more mistresses.
  • An unmarried man having a number of mistresses.

Islam condones but discourages the first and forbids the other two.

Do you really think brother Tarek that polygamy is unjust to women in Islam? Or is it the real inequality to talk about the three previously listed kinds?
In her book The Life and Teachings of Muhammed, Dr. Annie Besant says:
“There is pretended monogamy in the West, but in reality, there is polygamy without responsibility; the mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her … the first lover has no responsibility for her future, and she is a hundred times worst off then the sheltered wife in a polygamous home.”

“When we see thousands of miserable women who crowd the streets of Western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in the Western mouth to reproach Islam for polygamy. It is better for woman, happier for woman, more respectable for woman to live in polygamy, united to one man, only with a legitimate child in her arms and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced and then cast out into the streets, perhaps with illegitimate child outside the rule of law, uncared, unsheltered, to become victim of any passer-by, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood, despised by all.”

Thank you again for your question and please keep in touch.

Salam.

 

 

Source: http://www.islamonline.net

Bicara Poligami…

Satu persoalan kenapa penulis membentangkan isu poligami di dalam blog ini. Keadaan semasa dan persepsi seseorang melihat isu poligami itu menyebabkan penulis membicarakannya di sini dengan petikan-petikan dari buku-buku ulama’-ulama’ yang boleh dipercayai seperti Dr Yusof Al-Qaradawi dan lain-lain lagi. Ada beberapa perkara penting yang hendak disentuh di bawah ini seperti berikut :-
1. Sebagai seorang Muslim/Muslimah yang taat dan patuh kepada ajaran Islam yang sebenar, kita hendaklah melihat, mengkaji, merenung isu ini dengan fikiran yang terbuka dan penuh rasional iaitu cuba menilainya dengan hikmah atau kebijaksanaan akal yang dikurniakan oleh Allah Taala bukan dengan perasaan yang penuh dengan emosi dan pengaruh negatif dari media massa. Apabila kita melihat sesuatu perkara itu sebagai negatif maka sukar bagi pemikiran kita untuk menilai sesuatu itu dengan perasaan yang waras. Perlu direnungkan kepentingan manusia keseluruhannya di dalam menangani sesuatu perkara.

2. Al-Quran yang kita membacanya setiap hari adalah menjadi panduan hidup atau “a way of life” juga menjadi bahan rujukan kepada kita ke arah jalan yang betul (hidup yang terpandu). Allah menurunkan Al-Quran kepada ummat Islam ialah supaya dihayati dan dipraktikkan di dalam kehidupan sehari-hari. Al-Quran bukan sekadar dibaca malah lebih dari itu, untuk dijadikan sebagai petunjuk kepada orang-orang yang beriman kepada Allah Taala. Di bulan Ramadhan ini kita digalakkan membaca Al-Quran dan diberi pahala yang berlipat ganda. Cuma satu langkah lagi yang perlu dilakukan iaitu memahami isi kandungannya dan mempraktikkannya di dalam kehidupan individu, keluarga, masyarakat dan seterusnya.

3. Orang yang beriman kepada Allah, menyempurnakan perintah rukun Islam seperti solat 5 waktu, berpuasa di bulan Ramadhan, menunaikan zakat, mengerjakan fardhu haji jika mampu dan ibadat-ibadat yang lain samada yang wajib atau sunat melakukan ibadat-ibadat tersebut kerana mereka mentaati ajaran Islam yang mulia. Orang-orang yang beriman juga meninggalkan perkara-perkara yang dilarang oleh Islam dengan penuh rasa ketaatan kepada Rabb alam semesta.

4. Orang-orang yang beriman mengenal Allah sebagai Tuhan yang Maha Berkuasa ke atas semua makhlukNya. Dia juga yang mengatur hidup manusia di dunia ini, maknanya Dia membuat peraturan-peraturan supaya manusia patuh kepada peraturan-peraturanNya. Kita tidak boleh mengubah ibadat seperti solat, puasa, zakat, haji, menutup aurat dan sebagainya Dia berkehendakkan begitu. Ada perkara-perkara yang tidak disebut di dalam Al-Quran atau Hadis di mana perkara-perkara tersebut hendaklah diputuskan oleh ulama’-ulama’ yang boleh dipercayai dan berilmu. Keputusan mereka mestilah tidak bercanggah dengan peraturan-peraturan yang telah ditetapkan (yang tidak berubah). Ulama’-ulama’ adalah orang-orang yang pakar di dalam bidang masing-masing.

5. Kita mesti ingat musuh-musuh Islam seperti orientalis & misionari bertungkus-lumus siang dan malam 24 jam sehari untuk memesongkan kefahaman orang-orang Islam dan mengikuti agama mereka terutama di dalam bab poligami dan perceraian (talak). Mereka mengatakan poligami hanya diberikan kepada orang lelaki sahaja dan hak bercerai di beri kepada orang lelaki (kuasa talak diberi kepada suami). Itulah modal mereka supaya ummat Islam terpengaruh dan keyakinan ummat Islam terhadap agama Islam menjadi luntur. Na’uzubillahi min zaalik.

https://milkyway27.wordpress.com/2007/12/06/polygamy-part-1/

Kita tidak boleh memandang ringan akan perkara ini kerana mereka menggunakan logik akal mereka semata-mata dan kita, umat Islam, berpandukan wahyu. Kita tidak boleh terjerebak dengan daya tarikan, kata-kata manis yang mereka hamburkan, janji-janji manis, dan pujuk-rayu mereka supaya kita mengikuti jejak langkah mereka yang membawa kepada neraka wa na’uzubillah. Mereka menggunakan berbagai-bagai terminologi untuk mempengaruhi ummat Islam supaya jauh dari ajaran Islam yang sebenar seperti “hapuskan poligami kerana poligami menafikan hak kesaksamaan gender”, “hak asasi wanita terabai dengan poligami”, “poligami tidak sesuai di zaman sekarang”. “poligami sudah menjadi isu lapuk”, “lelaki dibenarkan beristeri empat, kenapa perempuan tidak boleh bersuami empat” dan banyak lagi kata-kata yang sebenarnya jika difikirkan adalah menunjukkan kelemahan dari segi kefahaman terhadap agama Islam itu sendiri. Itulah yang boleh dilakukan oleh orientalis dan misionari untuk menarik ummat Islam terutamanya kaum wanita/muslimah yang mana mereka mudah terpedaya dengan pujuk-rayu golongan orientalis/misionari yang setiap hari bekerja untuk meruntuhkan Islam. Kenapa pendapat mereka yang hendak diikuti? Manakah pendapat yang lebih baik; oreintalis/misionari atau ulama’-ulama’ Islam yang muktabar?

6. Di dalam Al-Quran dengan jelas Allah berfirman orang lelaki Muslim boleh berkahwin dengan wanita samada 2, 3, atau 4 jika boleh berlaku adil. Sekiranya tidak boleh berlaku adil maka kahwin satu isteri sahaja. Ya, sekiranya boleh berlaku adil iaitu di dalam pemberian nafkah zahir dan batin dan di dalam giliran malam.

https://milkyway27.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/polygamy-why-is-it-permitted-in-islam/

Tetapi di dalam perasaan kasih & sayang terhadap isteri-isteri adalah mengikut kemampuan suami itu sendiri kerana perasaan kasih & sayang kepada isteri-isteri itu adalah di luar bidang kuasa si suami (Allah yang menjadikan perasaan kasih & sayang di dalam hati seseorang itu kepada seseorang yang lain – di luar bidang kuasa manusia). Tetapi suami tidak boleh meninggalkan isteri yang kurang disayangi itu terkatung-katung tanpa penjagaan darinya. Maknanya semua isteri-isteri mendapat hak-hak mereka yang sama sebagai seorang isteri tidak kira samada isteri pertama atau isteri kedua atau isteri ketiga atau isteri keempat.

https://milkyway27.wordpress.com/2007/11/30/penjelasan-surah-al-nisaa-ayat-129-keadilan-di-dalam-berpoligami/

Suami hendaklah menunaikan hak-hak isteri dengan adil. Jadi di sini penting dijelaskan yang keperluan harian, makan-minum, rumah itu tidak semestinya yang mahal-mahal belaka kerana itu bergantung kepada kemampuan si suami. Adil juga bukan bermakna sama jumlahnya contoh isteri pertama ada 3 org anak, isteri kedua ada 2 orang anak maka perbelanjaan untuk isteri yang pertama adalah lebih daripada isteri yang kedua kerana tanggungannya adalah lebih ramai. Adil mengikut keperluan masing-masing.

7. Masalah dengan pengaruh negatif dari media massa sekarang ialah terlalu banyaknya cerita-cerita yang direka dan ditayangkan yang menggambarkan bahawa kehidupan berpoligami itu penuh dengan pelbagai masalah. Ini sedikit sebanyak akan mempengaruhi segelintir masyarakat terutama kaum hawa (sorry to say) untuk mempercayai dan meyakini yang ada sesuatu yang tidak kena dengan sistem poligami. Sistem poligami ini siapa yang membenarkannya atau siapa yang meluluskannya. Bukankah Allah yg membenarkannya? Sanggupkan kita mengatakan yang sistem ini tidak elok, tidak baik, lapuk ditelan dek zaman dan patut dihentikan atau diketatkan saja pelaksanaannya supaya tidak ramai yg boleh mengamalkannya? Wa na’uzubillahi min zaalik. Kita jawab sendiri, tanya hati nurani kita. Macamana di akhirat nanti bila kita berhadapan dengan Allah Taala iaitu Pencipta manusia dan alam semesta serta Pencipta kepada sistem-sistem Islam (manhaj) termasuk sistem poligami untuk kebaikan hidup manusia semasa di muka bumi ini dan untuk kebaikan alam sekitar di padang Mahsyar kelak? Macamana kita hendak menjawabnya? Apakah alasan kita di hadapan Allah Taala? Para sahabat Rasulullah mereka adalah contoh ikutan terbaik kepada kita dan kebanyakan mereka mengamalkan poligami ini (Dr. Yusof Al-Qardawi). Masalah kepada ummat Islam sekarang ialah tidak mahu belajar memahami Islam yang asal sebagaimana yang diturunkan kepada Nabi Muhammad S.A.W.

8. Bila bercakap tentang poligami bukanlah bererti semua lelaki Muslim akan berkahwin 2, 3, atau 4. Penulis tegaskan sekali lagi, bukan semua. Kerana ini adalah suatu pilihan dan bergantung kepada syarat seseorang itu boleh berlaku adil atau tidak. Perkahwinan ke-2, 3, atau 4 adalah sama juga seperti perkahwinan yang pertama. Minta persetujuan perempuan yang hendak dikahwini itu tetapi tidak semestinya meminta izin kepada isteri yang pertama (atau isteri-isteri yang sedia ada kerana ini bukanlah menjadi syarat), ada wali, saksi dan sebagainya. Sekiranya si perempuan yang hendak dikahwini itu (samada janda atau anak dara) tidak bersetuju atau tidak mahu berkahwin dengan lelaki itu maka tidak berlakulah perkahwinan tersebut.

9. Poligami adalah salah satu syariat di antara syariat-syariat yang terdapat di dalam Islam dan ianya adalah sesuatu yang tetap.

https://milkyway27.wordpress.com/2008/05/22/hentikan-poligami-pbb/

https://milkyway27.wordpress.com/2007/12/08/polygamy-pt-8/

https://milkyway27.wordpress.com/2007/12/12/polygamy-pt-9/

https://milkyway27.wordpress.com/2007/12/12/polygamy-pt-10/

https://milkyway27.wordpress.com/2007/12/12/polygamy-pt-11-end/

Segala kebaikan adalah datangnya dari taufiq dan hidayah Allah dan jika ada kesilapan adalah datangnya daripada kelemahan dan kesilapan penulis sendiri. Semoga kita semua diberi kefahaman Islam yang sebenar dan menjadikan hati-hati kita mudah menerima kandungan-kandungan ajaran-ajaran Islam yang suci ini dan menjadi bekalan kepada kita di dalam mengharungi hidup di dunia ini. Semoga iman kita bertambah di bulan Ramadhan ini dan bulan-bulan yang seterusnya sehingga kita dipanggil pulang oleh Allah.

Polygamy the Quranic Way

Posted in http://www.islamonline.net

Title

Polygamy the Quranic Way

 

Date

31/Jul/2008

 

Question

As-Salamu alaykum wa Rahmatu Allah! Regarding four marriages, there’s the verse that allows it. Then another verse advises us to marry one in case we fear that we won’t be able to establish justice. But then there’s another verse about which I am confused which says that we will never be able to establish justice between women and that we should not incline to one of them too much (4:129). Depending on the second verse, doesn’t the third verse prevent more than one marriage? Jazakum Allah Khayran.

 

Topic

Marriage

 

Name of Counselor

Ahmad Sa`d

Answer

Salam, dear questioner.

 

Thanks for the question that reflects your deep research and reflection.

 

Well, in order to understand anything, we are always supposed to look deeply into the context in which it has happened. The same applies to the Quranic verses which, if ever read outside their contexts, will lead to meanings other than what is alluded to in them.

 

Coming to the issue of polygamy, it is well-known that Islam has allowed polygamy to solve certain problems which, if such a solution is not available, will be very rampant in the society.

 

Some of these problems may include fulfilling people’s desire to have children. For instance, if a man is married to a lady and it is later proved that she is infertile and he longs to have children, Islam allows him to take a second wife and still have the first one within the bond of marriage, take care of her and protect her.

 

Some people may say, why is the woman not given the same privilege? The answer is, she is actually given the ability to get married to another person after seeking divorce from her barren husband, who, in case he refuses to give her divorce, can be taken to court and she can obtain a divorce there.

 

As is known, if a woman is barren and her husband intends to take a second wife, the first wife is still entitled to full protection and fair treatment. Her being barren has nothing to do with the way she is treated because this is not something under her control.

 

Many other situations would encourage polygamy as a solution for many life problems and a legal framework for relations between men and women in the society.

 

With this in mind, we can understand that Almighty Allah has permitted man to marry more than one woman in case there is a need for this. Yet, with everything in this word, a full package of desirable and undesirable things come.

 

Of course, some women may like it and others may dislike it and therefore, for those who are unhappy with it, they were given the option of going for divorce.

 

Likewise, some men may just practice it unaware of its conditions. To these, the Quran highlights the fact that it has to be done with full justice.

 

Since human beings are subject to errors and tend to swerve from the balance, the Quran firstly advised a man to stick to one wife as long as there is no need for a second wife, and this is the original rule.

 

Yet, when people are driven by need or necessity to try the other way, I mean  having more than one wife, then new concerns will arise. One main concern is the issue of establishing justice between the wives which had to be addressed by the Quran as well.

 

These two things as you have stated are addressed in the same verse so as to leave no place for external tampering and put the person in light of the matter from the very onset.

 

The full verse reads what means:

 

*{… then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one.}* (An-Nisaa: 4: 3)

 

As clear from the verse, the Quran considers people’s needs sometimes to have more than one wife, yet, considers at the same time each wife’s welfare and right to be dealt with justly.

 

A person may say to himself, ‘well, I will establish full justice between my wives and try to cater for the welfare of both of them to the best of my ability, yet, there is something I cannot control which is love and emotions.’

 

This will put such a person in a bit of embarrassment and dilemma. Since the Quran solves the whole problem along with all its aspects, expected and unexpected scenarios, it has given later on an answer to this query.

 

We read in verse number 129 of the same Surah what gives the meaning of:

 

*{And you have it not in your power to do justice between wives, even though you may wish (it), but be not disinclined (from one) with total disinclination, so that you leave her as it were in suspense; and if you effect a reconciliation and guard (against evil), then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.}* (An-Nisaa’ 4:129)

 

The verse does not mean that men who have a need to have a second wife should abstain from doing so or should be discouraged to do so.

 

Rather, it removes the hardship which they may feel when they do justice to the best of their abilities but still find their feelings and their love inclining a bit more towards one of them, something which is totally uncontrollable.

 

As Imam Al-Fakhr Ar-Razi comments on the verse in his well-known work Mafatih Al-Ghayb (The Keys to the Unseen);

 

“The verse means, you will not be able to incline equally or have equal amount of feeling for both of them as this is not under your control and since, it is not under your control, you are not required to do it.

 

This means that you are not forbidden from feeling more inclination towards one over the other as this is something you cannot control, but you are not allowed to show any unequal treatment in actions or words.

 

Al-Shafi (one of the Islamic scholars) narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to treat his wives equally and then say: “O Allah, this is what I can control and you know about what I cannot control.” The Quran justifies this further and tells people that failing to provide just treatment in words and deeds and care will leave the woman in suspense, I mean as if she is in an in between state neither fully married nor unmarried.” (www.altafsir.com)

 

Therefore, the verse does not discourage second marriage or prevent it. Rather, it tries to regulate it and remove some kind of hardship which comes with the package to make people feel as naturally human as possible.

 

It gives a message that can be summarized as follows: Do justice between your wives to the best of your abilities, care for them equally. Yet, if love overwhelms you towards one of them and it is out of your hand, do not worry as this is something you cannot control as long as you do treat them equally.

 

I hope this answers your question. Please keep in touch.

 

Salam.

 

Useful Links:

 

Polygamy: Norm or Exception?

 

One Eve For Adam, So Why Polygamy?

 

Apostasy, Polygamy, and Adultery

 

Polygamy Between Fairness and Hypocrisy

 

Questioning Polygamy

 

About Divorce and Polygamy

 

Polygamy Between Islam and the West

 

The Messenger of Peace… A Man of Polygamy?!

 

Polygamy and Polyandry


Polygamy in Christianity and Islam

 

 

 

Did Allah create man in a way that he cannot be loyal to his only wife?

Name: unknown    – India

  

Question:

Assalamu `alaikum,  
 
In Islam it is said that men and women are given equal status and rights. But I do feel that women have not received equal status and rights as that of men. Islam permits polygamy for men. At times of need polygamy permitted. Can it be accepted by women. But sometimes a man has no need to remarry and still he remarries another woman in spite of the unwillingness of his wife, for he is attracted towards the other woman’s beauty. Is this permitted in Islam as the wife might be hurt a lots. I also have seen many women hurt for their husbands remarrying when there is no need. Islam teaches men to be kind, polite towards their wives and also not to hurt them. But does Islam permit men to hurt their wives when it is the case of polygamy. Did Allah create man in a way that he cannot be loyal to his only wife? Please, please answer my question.  
 
Thank you.  
May Allah bless you.

 

Answer:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  
 
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.  
 
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
 
 
The relationship between a husband and wife is based on ma`roof or kindness, compassion and mercy. Both husband and wife are supposed to work at pleasing each other and dealing kindly towards each other.  
 
When it comes to the rights of both men and women in Islam, we should believe that Allah SWT is the JUST and the WISE. So He only gives people what is good for them and only demands what is for our interest and common good. The problem is that we sometimes look very selfishly and try to have all the good for ourselves without looking at the society in large.  
 
As for polygamy, it is allowed in Islam. It is to be used for the purposes for which it is permitted and not to be abused at any case. It is true that Allah permits the man to marry four wives, but if we think neutral and try to investigate the benefit of that without thinking of our own interests only, we will find the wisdom and significance of polygamy.  
 

For example, if a wife puts herself in place of a widow who does not have anyone to care or look after her, and think sincerely of a solution to her problem, she will find that she would love to be a second wife than to stay as widow and continue to suffer the problems in raising children and getting the same life as her peers do. So, there is always wisdom behind polygamy.  
 
As for hurting the feelings of the first wife, I am personally of the view that a husband should discuss this issue with his wife and they should both reach a reasonable agreement. If the wife finds herself unable to accept her husband taking another wife, she has every right to demand divorce and get her rights fully and separate in kindness. But if she thinks reasonably and not emotionally and weigh the pros and cons or being divorced and second wife, she could reach a better conclusion to save her family life and husband.  
 
This does not mean the husband is allowed to abuse polygamy. It is only allowed for whoever is able to treat all wives equally and fairly. If he cannot be just and fair it is forbidden to take another wife.  
 
Allah Almighty knows best.

 

Source:  http://www.islamonline.net/

 

 

 

Question pertaining to polygamy in Muslim Country

Ask the Scholar

Name: Abu Muhammad   – Malaysia
Title Educating Ourselves About Shari`ah

Question:

Assalamu’alaykum,
Dear Scholar,

I have read a lot of articles, Q&A, opinions from Islamonline.net about polygamy in Islam. No doubt polygamy is allowed in Islam as mentioned by Allah Ta’ala in Surah Al-Nisaa’ verse 3. The law of polygamy been practiced by our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him), his companions and Muslims all over the world until now. In my opinion, enemies of Islam are working very hard nowadays, days and nights to eliminate this shari’ ah of Islam so that they can spread prostitution, adultery, fornication, homosexual, lesbian, and whatever you name it in Islamic countries. What I am worried too much is that this shari’ ah of Islam (polygamy) is treated as if not very important in Islam by some Muslims and many Muslims behaved as if not agreed with the shari’ ah or try not to implement it in Muslim society.
We believe that as a Muslim it is obligatory for us to accept all verses in the Qur’an whether we like it or not. My question is how to educate or sort of to make Muslims realize the importance of implementation of all Islamic shari’ ahs in ourselves, our families, and our societies? After all, not necessarily all Muslims will marry more that one woman because it is a matter of choice. Wallahu’alam.

Date: 27/Mar/2006
MuftiIOL Shari`ah Researchers

 
Answer:
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
 
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
 
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
 
Dear questioner, thank you very much for having confidence in us, and we hope our efforts, which are purely for Allah’s Sake, meet your expectations.
Reading your question thoroughly, we share many of your views mentioned in the question regarding the Shari`ah and its real presence and application in our lives. In this regard, we would like that you make use of the following tips:

  1. It is the role of Muslim scholars in all parts of the world to educate Muslims about the wide scope of Islamic Shari`ah and to make them really realize that the Shari`ah has solutions to all our problems.
  2. Muslim individuals should exert utmost efforts to seek proper knowledge about Islam and the Shari`ah and they should be good ambassadors of their religion.
  3. It is the role of Muslim institutions especially in majority Muslim countries such as Malaysia to face such vicious campaigns against Islam by increasing their awareness campaigns about such social ills such as adultery, fornication, homosexuality and lesbianism, etc.
  4. Implementing the Shari`ah is not restricted to one aspect regarding legal punishments but it goes far to encompass all the aspects of life. This is in addition to the fact that any person with a sound intellect agrees that the Shari`ah aims at removing hardship from people and giving them solutions to their problems regardless of their places and locations.
  5.  It is our responsibility, as Muslims, to know the rules of Allah and put them into practice with sincerity. But before anything, we should ask ourselves if we are really practicing justice. Are we really fair to others, to our spouses, to our relatives, to our neighbors, employees, employers, to Muslims, to other human beings, to animals, to anything and everything? Are we really compassionate people? Are we really increasing in compassion or are we becoming angry, hateful, arrogant, or complacent about ourselves? We must improve ourselves in justice and compassion. If we do not have `adl (justice) and ihsan (compassion) or rahmah (mercy), then we are not practicing the Shari`ah. Similarly, if we think that we are following the law of Allah but the result is injustice and lack of compassion, then it means that we have not properly understood the law of Allah or we are not interpreting it right.

Finally, we think that it will be very much beneficial for you to preview the contents of the Shari`ah & Humanity Special page. In addition, we think that forwarding your future queries or even contribution to this page will be very much appreciated.

Allah Almighty knows best.

Fatwa Editor:
El-Sayed Amin

Source: http://www.islamonline.net/

Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims – 2

POLYANDRY

 

Question:

If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a woman from having more than one husband?

Answer:

A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women.

Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.

Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with who you can not marry and it is further mentions in Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verse 24 “Also (prohibited are) women already married”

The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:


1.   If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present.


2.   Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.


3.   Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.


4.   A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.


The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry.

 

This question and answer is extracted from Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims by Dr. Zakir Naik

 

Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims

POLYGAMY

 

Question:

Why is a man allowed to have more than one wife in Islam? i.e. why is polygamy allowed in Islam?

Answer:

Definition of Polygamy

1.  

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.

 

 


2.  The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says,”marry only one”.

The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.

In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (95% C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.


3.  Hindus are more polygynous than Muslims

The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.

Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.


4.   Qur’an permits limited polygyny

As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:

“Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one.”

                                  [Al-Qur’an 4:3]

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.

In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:

“Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women….”

                                 [Al-Qur’an 4:129]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:

         i.            Fard i.e. compulsory or obligatory

       ii.            Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged

      iii.            Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed

      iv.            Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged

        v.            Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.


5.  Average life span of females is more than that of males

By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.

During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.


6.   India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide

India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males.


7.   World female population is more than male population

In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males.


8.   Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical

Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.

Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.

In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.

Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second.

There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.

 

This question and answer is extracted from Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims by Dr. Zakir Naik

 

 

Dialog Tentang Poligami

Dialog ini dipetik dari internet tentang isu poligami.
Zul:  “Aslkm, Sila rujuk petikan dari suratkhabar baru-baru ini yang mengetatkan syarat untuk berkahwin lebih dari satu. Kalau kita lihat buku Fiqh Sunnah karangan Sayid Sabiq ianya sangat berbeza. Adakah ulama’ dulu tidak pandai dalam mengeluarkan sesuatu hukum bagi kepentingan umat Islam seluruhnya? Atau hukum ulama’ dulu tidak mengikut peredaran zaman, kolot, tidak moden? Ulasan Sheikh Yusuf al Qaradawi adalah selari dengan Sheikh Sayid Sabiq? Tidak adakah cendikiawan (intelek) Islam dalam dunia ini yang ingin membuat penyelidikan (research; MA atau PhD) tentang hikmah Allah membolehkan Muslim berkahwin lebih dari satu tetapi tidak melebihi empat? Siapakah kita yang hendak mengkritik apa yang telah diwahyukan oleh Allah? Allah Maha Mengetahui akan rahsia kenapa Dia membenarkan Muslim boleh berpoligami. Ini adalah peringatan untuk diri sendiri yang sangat dhaif ini. Maaf kiranya ada terkasar bahasa atau tersinggung perasaan. Wassalam.”

 

Petikan dari akhbar berbunyi:

  1. Perkahwinan (kedua) hanya patut atau perlu atas faktor kemandulan, keuzuran jasmani, sengaja ingkar mematuhi perintah hak persetubuhan atau gila di pihak isteri;
  2. Pemohon berkemampuan menanggung semua isteri dan tanggungannya termasuk yang bakal ditanggung;
  3. Pemohon berupaya memberi layanan adil kepada semua isteri;
  4. Perkahwinan tidak menyebabkan ‘darar Syarie’ atau bahaya yang menyentuh isteri mengenai agama, nyawa, tubuh badan, akal, maruah dan harta benda mengikut kebiasaan yang diakui hukum syarak; dan
  5. Kuasa mahkamah mengkehendaki seseorang membuat pembayaran nafkah kepada isteri atau isteri-isteri yang sedia ada.

 

Zul:  ”Ada pembetulan tentang ayat ” Ulasan Sheikh Yusuf al-Qaradawi adalah selari dengan Sheikh Sayid Sabiq?” sebenarnya dibaca ” Ulasan Sheikh Yusuf al Qaradawi adalah selari dengan Sheikh Sayid Sabiq.” Wassalam.”

 

Irfan:  ”Tak ada pembetulan pun! Atau saya tak nampak?!”

 

Zul:  ”Tanda soal (?) sepatutnya tidak ada. Hasil kajian saya, kedua-dua Sheikh mempunyai pendapat yang sama iaitu berpoligami disebabkan oleh sorry to say “strong sexual desire” atau mengikut seorang ustaz dalam kuliah yang saya ikuti “engine turbo”. Saya minta maaf sebab guna bahasa-bahasa yang begini. Tapi itulah hakikat yang Allah jadikan manusia ini seperti dalam Surah Al-Imran ayat 14. Cinta kepada wanita itu adalah kesenangan hidup dunia. Apa yang ada di sisi Allah itu lebih baik. Wassalam.”

 

Fandi:  “Assalamu ‘alaikum. Bagi saya itu bukan the only reason why poligamy! Kalau inilah reasonnya musuh Islam akan mengatakan bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w. kuat nafsu. Sebenarnya setiap perkahwinan Rasulullah ada different reasons behind it. Bagi saya yang lebih utama adalah menjaga maruah dan kehormatan wanita. Dalam situasi maruah dan kehormatan wanita terjamin melalui poligami, maka poligami harus digalakkan. Namun dalam keadaan kehormatan wanita dan maruah wanita tidak terjamin dengan poligami maka sesuatu harus dilakukan agar poligami yang diharuskan oleh Islam itu dilaksanakan dalam keadaan yang terkawal, berperaturan agar hikmah poligami itu dapat dicapai dengan sempurna. Ini tidak menafikan dalam keadaan tertentu, banyak sebab-sebab lain yang mengharuskan poligami termasuk apa yang disebutkan oleh Zul tadi, namun sebab itu sahaja tidak sepatutnya menjadi satu-satu sebab mengapa berpoligami kerana hal itu adalah relatif bagi setiap individu.

 

Tanpa mengambil kira faktor kemampuan yang lain, keadilan dan dharar(mudarat) yang berlaku hasil dari poligami, maka poligami sebegitu adalah tidak selaras dengan kaedah Fekah, “Mengutamakan Maslahah umum berbanding Maslahah Peribadi”, “Menolak Mafsadah lebih utama dari Maslahah” dan lain-lain kaedah yang berkaitan. Apatah lagi maslahah yang ingin dicapai tersebut adalah maslahah peribadi semata-mata. Walaubagaimanapun, tidak dinafikan peraturan yang terlalu ketat dan tidak munasabah juga boleh membawa kepada mafsadah dan dharar yang lebih berat yang juga harus ditangani dengan sewajarnya. Inilah dilema sebenarnya di pihak penggubal undang-undang yang harus difahami oleh setiap dari kita dalam apa jua peraturan yang hendak dilaksanakan termasuk dalam kes Hudud, Qisas dan sebagainya. Wallahu a’lam.”

 

Zul:  “Aslkm, Sekadar satu perbincangan. Boleh tak sekiranya saya mengatakan bahawa masalah peribadi itu boleh menjadi masalah umum bila terdapat ramai peribadi yang mempunyai masalah yang sama atau yang sewaktu dengannya. Saya lihat banyak ayat-ayat Al-Quran yang diturunkan menyentuh masalah peribadi dan diselesaikan melalui wahyu untuk menjadi pengajaran kepada umat pada masa itu dan seterusnya sehingga hari Qiamat. Sebab itu saya mengambil rujukan dari Sheikh Besar seperti Yusuf al-Qaradawi, Sayid Sabiq yang melihat kepentingan umat Islam seluruhnya.

 

Lebih-lebih lagi masalah poligami ini sangat mudah difahami bagi yang orang yang telah berkahwin. Kalau seseorang yang belum berkahwin mungkin memahaminya secara teoritikal sahaja. Sekiranya mahu melihat perspektif individu maka bagaimana dengan perkahwinan pertama yang juga banyak masalah yang ditimbulkan oleh sesetengah individu yang mana sekiranya teori untuk menjaga kepentingan orang lain supaya tidak timbul masalah maka syarat-syarat harus diperketatkan juga bagi perkahwinan yang pertama maka ianya akan mengalami nasib yang sama seperti poligami di mana akan ada yang tidak layak untuk berkahwin bagi perkahwinan yang pertama.

 

Islam itu agama yang mudah di mana tidak semestinya seseorang itu perlu menjadi Profesor dahulu baru boleh memahami Islam hatta seorang pemandu teksi pun boleh memahami Islam asalkan ada yang boleh menerangkan dengan cara yang berhikmah maka boleh saja dia memahami Islam dan mempraktikkannya.”

 

Zul:  “Saya tidak faham kenapa hendak menyusahkan pensyariatan poligami ini yang sebenarnya sangat jelas sejelas bintang di langit adakah kerana takut ianya terkena kepada diri sendiri dan bukannya untuk menjaga maslahah umat. Kita lihat the first place kenapa Allah membenarkan orang lelaki Islam berpoligami di mana hikmahnya hanya Allah Taala sahaja yang tahu dan saya rasa kita boleh mencari, mengkaji hikmahnya terpulanglah kepada kita di antara hendak dengan tak hendak. Tapi realiti sekarang mungkin kerana takut dicop sebagai kuat nafsu maka tak ada orang berani hendak buat research tentang ini. Ini sebenarnya satu challenge. Kalau kita tak buat maka orang orientalis akan menghentam kita dengan meracuni fikiran generasi sekarang supaya melihat poligami ini sesuatu yang mesti dijauhi dan menimbulkan banyak problem kepada masyarakat.

 

Masyarakat barat hari ini tak memerlukan poligami kerana mereka telah jauh terpesong dari norma-norma agama dan mereka hidup lebih dahsyat dari haiwan dan they can stay together man and woman without marriage and they can even change their partners every week or even everyday without feeling guilty.”

 

Zul:  “Bila saya menulis ni bukannya saya tuju kepada seseorang tapi anggaplah ini sebagai suatu diskusi yang bertujuan untuk mencari keredhaan Allah. Dalam ilmu kejuruteraan, jika sesuatu hukum (law) itu sudah diputuskan maka ianya boleh dijadikan rujukan tapi bukan bermakna ianya tidak mengalami kesilapan kerana ianya adalah buatan manusia yang bersifat dhaif dan melakukan kesilapan. Hanya ketetapan dan hukum Allah sahaja yang perfect dan hanya Allah sahaja yang mengetahui hikmahnya. Wallahu’alam.”

 

Fandi: “Assalamu ‘alaikum. Memang tiada siapa yang boleh mempertikaikan bahawa pensyariatan poligami membawa hikmah besar kepada individu (lelaki dan perempuan), masyarakat, ummah dan agama. Dari segi teorinya beres, kita menentang sekeras-kerasnya pihak yang mempertikaikan pensyariatan poligami kerana poligami adalah ubat yang amat mujarab untuk menyelesaikan masalah ummah.

 

Cuma apa yang harus diperhalusi ialah perlaksanaannya dalam kontek sekarang kerana kita sedia maklum our legal framework is not Islamic. Oleh itu dalam isu poligami pihak2 tertentu wajib mengambil tanggungjawab melaksanakan peraturan-peraturan tertentu agar hikmah poligami itu dapat dicapai. Bayangkan jika setiap orang diberi kebebasan seluas-luasnya untuk berpoligami semata-mata berasaskan keperluan nafsu tanpa sebarang syarat dan peraturan, maka dalam keadaan umat Islam yang amat jahil dengan hukum hakam Allah, maka semua orang akan berlumba-lumba untuk berpoligami dan sudah tentu keadaan ini membawa dharar kepada masyarakat khasnya para wanita.

 

Walaubagaimanapun ini tidak bermakna kita bersetuju dengan syarat-syarat yang dicadangkan oleh pihak-pihak tertentu. Yang penting bagi saya ialah kesedaran ummah terhadap Islam dan hukum hakamnya supaya setiap individu yang ingin berpoligami faham akan hukum dan tuntutan poligami agar mampu mencapai hikmah pensyariatan poligami tersebut. Peranan kita menyedarkan masyarakat. Kalau ada antara kita yang mampu berpoligami, tidak salah untuk kita buktikan dan tunjukkan kepada masyarakat bahawa poligami itu mampu membawa kebahagiaan kepada individu, ummah, agama dan negara. Wallahu a’lam.”

 

Zul: “Saya rasa jika undang-undang poligami ini dilaksanakan yang sepatutnya menurut Islam, ianya tidak akan menimbulkan masalah kepada kaum wanita atau masyarakat kerana kita yakin yang mana poligami ini dibenarkan oleh Allah Taala adalah untuk menyelesaikan permasalahan ummah dan menjaga kedudukan kaum wanita untuk semua umat Islam dan pada setiap zaman. Bukankah dengan poligami maka kedudukan sorry to say wanita-wanita janda akan terjamin, juga sorry to say wanita-wanita yang agak berumur akan berteman kerana naluri mereka berkehendakkan teman hidup, dan juga sorry to say wanita-wanita yang muda pun akan dapat melahirkan zuriat dengan cepat dan ramai sekiranya ada rezeki. Bukankah kaum wanita lebih ramai sekarang ini berbanding dengan kaum lelaki? Walaupun tak ada statistik tapi rasanya gitulah. Saya rasa kalau seseorang itu berkahwin kerana nafsu itu tidak menjadi masalah sebab ianya masih disalurkan on the right track (halal). Sebab kuat nafsu jugalah Allah membenarkan 2, atau 3, atau, 4 saya rasa walaupun this is not the only reason. Wallahu’alam.”

 

Zul: “Aslkm, “The problem is sekiranya undang-undang poligami ini disekat atau dipayahkan aplikasinya maka semuanya terlibat samada orang baik atau tak berapa baik. Ini seolah-olah kita menidakkan undang-undang itu sendiri. Sebab itu kita perlu tengok juga kepada Islam yang asal. Bukan bermakna bila kita bergelar profesor kita saja yang pandai. Ulama’-ulama’ dulu-dulu lagi intelligent, mereka menghafal banyak hadis, buku, Al-Quran tak payah ceritalah dalam dada dan terbukti keikhlasan mereka sehingga ada yang sanggup masuk jel dan ramai yang syahid kerana mempertahankan pendirian mereka. Dari sudut masalah dulu dan sekarang lebih kurang sama saja, orang lelaki dulu dengan sekarang sama saja, kita makan nasi dia makan roti, makan juga jadi nak kata fatwa zaman dulu tak sesuai dengan sekarang saya kurang setuju.”

 

Fandi:  “Assalamu ‘alaikum. “Saya rasa isu ini sama jugak dengan perkahwinan pertama. Islam mengharuskan kahwin asal saja sudah mencapai baligh tetapi mengapa peraturan semua Negara Islam menetapkan umur yang dibenarkan berkahwin? Kalau nak ikut apa yang disebutkan oleh ulama’ dulu dalam kitab-kitab mereka, asal saja baligh, biar sahajalah sapa nak kahwin, kahwinlah, tak perlu ada apa-apa peraturan mengenai umur dsbnya. Mengapa di Malaysia perkahwinan wajib didaftarkan? Mengapa kena ada ujian darah? Mengapa…? Mengapa…? Mengapa….? Bukan soal ulama’ dulu tak intelligent tapi zaman berubah, suasana berubah, perlaksanaan sesuatu hukum pun harus berubah.  La yunkar taghayyur al-ahkam bi taghayyur al-azman. Ini bukan bermaksud fatwa dulu tak boleh pakai, kita yakin apa yang difatwakan dan ditulis oleh ulama’ dulu adalah mutiara yang harus dijadikan sandaran dan panduan untuk kita semua. Tidak timbul soal Islam asal atau Islam sekarang, tapi soal perlaksanaan hukum Islam wajib mengambil kira suasana semasa, sebab itulah peraturan-peraturan perkahwinan dilaksanakan. Tetapi tidak bermakna kita setuju dengan semua peraturan yang telah dan akan dilaksanakan. Cuma tidak salah dari sudut pandangan Fekah untuk menetapkan peraturan seperti menetapkan umur tertentu untuk perkahwinan demi menjaga maslahah ummah dan agama. Perkara yang sama boleh diaplikasikan untuk isu poligami, tak salah dibuat peraturan. Kita harus faham bahawa mengenakan peraturan yang tidak pernah dikenakan oleh orang terdahulu, jika ianya berasaskan kepada fatwa yang memenuhi syarat-syarat fatwa berasaskan kepada sumber hukum dan dalil yang sahih adalah tidak bercanggah dengan kehendak Syariah. Cuma jangan kita faham, apa sahaja yang tidak difatwakan oleh ulama’ dulu sebagai tambahan kepada hukum “Islam asal” dan bercanggah dengan kehendak Syariah dan Islam! Itu amat merbahaya. Soal fatwa itu kita setuju atau tidak itu boleh dibahaskan dan dibincangkan dan common untuk semua isu. Kalau mereka mengeluarkan fatwa yang salah, jika melalui proses yang betul mereka mendapat satu ganjaran, kalau fatwa mereka betul mereka mendapat dua ganjaran. Pokoknya, perbezaan pandangan di kalangan cerdik pandai Islam adalah perkara biasa dan ini tidak bermakna satu pihak mesti benar satu pihak mesti salah. Soal ulama’ dulu masuk jel atau Syahid kerana mempertahankan pandangannya, itu saya tak berani nak komen. Wallahu a’lam.”

 

Zul:  ”Aslkm, Saya nak minta tolong seseorang menghuraikan ayat ini “Kalau mereka mengeluarkan fatwa yang salah, jika melalui proses yang betul mereka mendapat satu ganjaran, kalau fatwa mereka betul mereka mendapat dua ganjaran.” dengan berdasarkan persoalan berikut:-

1. Siapakah “mereka” yang boleh mengeluarkan fatwa?

2. Apakah maksud “melalui proses yang betul”?

3. Adakah ijtihad berbentuk lokaliti (baru) tanpa mengambil kira ijtihad ulama’-ulama’ lain yang mu’tabar yang mana ijtihadnya (ijtihad ulama’ muktabar telahpun ada sebelumnya) telah sedia ada dan relevan dengan subjek yang dibincangkan boleh diambilkira?. Wallahu a’lam.”

 

 

Polygamy: Why Is It Permitted in Islam?

Question:

As-Salamu `alaykum, I’m a Muslim that lives in the US and all the time people ask me questions about Islam and I always answer them based on logic and thinking. But there is only one question that I don’t know how to answer it; it’s about the fact that men are allowed to marry up to four wives at a time. What is the reason behind that and how can we answer this question in women’s right perspective of view? If women and men are equal in Islam, then why can’t women marry four husbands? I face this question all the time and I don’t know how to answer it. I prefer the answer in English so I can make people read it and so they can understand more. Jazakum Allahu Khayran!

Answer:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we commend your keenness on getting your self well-acquainted with Islam and its teachings, and also appreciate your keenness to teach others about the true nature of Islam, which is the way Allah has chosen for the welfare of His servants.

Islam is a way of life consonant with nature, providing human solutions to complex situations and avoiding extremes. This characteristic of Islam can be observed most clearly in its stand concerning the taking of more than one wife. Islam permits the Muslim to marry more than one woman in order to resolve some very pressing human problems, individual as well as social.

In his answer to the question in point, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti, member of the North American Fiqh Council, states:

First, understanding Islam is based on wahy (revelation) rather than reason. The principle of reason is used to further understand the wahy but not to judge or rule.

Second, the majority of Prophets were married to many wives, whereas they are considered the models for humanity for every sort of activity or style of life.

Third, in reality, you can hardly find one Muslim out of tens-of-thousands who is married to more than one wife. But, he cannot have affairs or dating with any woman. In non-Muslim societies, more than 65% of married men have affairs with more than 2, 3 or 4 women. There are more than 45% of women who have affairs the same way outside of marriage. All these practices are correct for the people of reason. They admit any zina (fornication/adultery) but they don’t admit any alternative for keeping people in cleanliness and pure solutions.

Fourth, if you want a woman to marry more than one man, this is not the only misconception we hear from people who allege they are people of reason and intellect. But I don’t need to make any comment other than saying this question is answered by what Allah, the Creator, has made of laws. He knows the best what is convenient and what is inconvenient for man or woman.”

For further elaboration on why Islam does not allow a woman to marry more than husband at one time, you are advised to read: Between Polygyny and Polyandry

Shedding more light on why Islam allows polygamy, the European Council for Fatwa and Research issued the following Fatwa:

“Prior to Islam, men used to marry as many women as they wished without any limits nor conditions. When Islam was revealed, it prescribed a limit to the number of women one may marry and also placed conditions for this to take place.

As for the limit, Islam prescribed that the maximum number of women a man can marry is four, as stated in the Qur’an: “Marry women of your choice, two or three or four…” (An-Nisa’: 3)

As for the condition, it is the confidence of the man that he can actually be totally just and fair between his wives, otherwise he is not allowed to re-marry. The Qur’an stated: “…but if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one…” (An-Nisa’: 3) In addition, the other conditions of any marriage must also be present, such as the ability to provide for the family and the ability to satisfy the sexual needs of the woman.

The reason for the allowance for a man to marry more than one woman is because Islam is a realistic religion and one which is not based upon idealistic notions which would cause real problems of everyday life without solution or treatment. It is very probable that a man marrying a second wife could be solving a problem, in that his first wife is incapable of bearing children or has extended menstruation cycles which result in his sexual needs being unsatisfied. The first wife could be ill and thus, instead of divorcing her and leaving her alone, could marry a second wife and remain next to his first wife, and so on. This allowance also solves the problem of a widow who needs a husband to care for her but does not wish for an unmarried young man, similar to a divorced woman with children. Indeed this allowance may solve a social problem which arises from the high proportion of good women who want to marry in comparison to able men. This is a common problem which increases particularly in the aftermath of wars and the like. The fact, in this case, is that the extra women do one of three following options:

1) That they remain unmarried for the rest of their lives, and are thus deprived from being a wife and a mother, which is a great injustice.
2) That they fulfill their sexual needs regardless of decrees of religion and acceptable behavior, which will result in a tragic loss in this life and the hereafter.
3) That they agree to marry an already married man who is capable of meeting their living and sexual needs and who is confident in his ability to deal fairly and justly between his wives.

As for those who say that this allowance is often abused by some men, it is an unfortunate fact that many rights are abused or are used in inappropriate manners. This does not mean that we must cancel these rights. Indeed, there are many men who abuse their first and only wives, so does this lead us to cancel marriage in its entirety?

Freedoms are often abused. Should we cancel freedoms? We see that states and governments abuse elections; would it be right to cancel these processes? In fact we find that authority and government is frequently abused, so would it be acceptable to cancel authority and let society decline into a state of chaos? It would be better, instead of calling for the cancellation of these rights, to set up boundaries and regulations which would limit the possibility of such rights being abused.”