QUOTATIONS ABOUT POLYGAMY – 3

Dr. Nadia Hashem goes on to expound her viewpoint by saying that a husband has perfect right to marry another wife, or other wives, whether his first wife consents or not. This is because it is a husband who is in command of a marriage contract; in a capacity as such, he is empowered to dispose at will, on condition that a wife has not attached, when writing out the marriage certificate, a condition that her husband should not take another wife, or other wives, in addition to her.

 

Dr. Nadia Hashem further clarifies that women in Muslim societies do not acknowledge polygamy any more: whether they be educated or not, wealthy or poor, urban or rural, as well as religious or not. Corrupt common practices ‑ deeply sending out roots ‑ religious un-enlightenment, dominating Western precepts are gravely implicated for Muslim women’s rejection of polygamy. Our society unduly upholds a common practice of turning down polygamy as inequality being done to first wives. However, Shari’aa stresses as corrupt and invalid any practice which runs on a collision course with religion. Having only scarce knowledge of religion sends a woman averting from polygamy. If she had been an utterly Muslim woman, she would have assuredly realized that she cannot, nor does she have any right to, head off a second, third or even fourth marriage by her husband, so long as her husband fulfills her own rights. Unfortunately, women’s education, domination of secular precepts and the so‑termed emancipation of women have all been seriously fallaciously instilling ‑ throughout long decades ‑ into women’s minds that polygamy holds women in low esteem.[1][3]

 to be continued…


QUOTATIONS ABOUT POLYGAMY – 2

Dr. Fathiyya Al‑Nabarawi, a professor at Al‑Azhar University Faculty of Islamic Studies, says, “A Muslim woman rejects or hates polygamy only when she is ill‑educated and weak in faith. During the prophet’s, peace be upon him, era, Muslim women did not object to polygamy, although women are naturally known to be averse to polygamy; even the prophet’s, peace be upon him, wives were known to be jealous of each other.

 

However, the situation stabilized and society acknowledged polygamy as licensed by religion which has been sent down from Allah. A woman cannot object to polygamy as long as her husband is so financially secure that he can provide for her and his children by her; she can not object either, so long as her husband will assuredly mete out justice to, and protect, her and his children by her as against the new wife.

 

Is not it better that such a marriage be permitted and made public, or should men be denied access to such a marriage while granted unrestricted access to the then imperative course of action involving sin? A polygamist husband should then be held in high esteem on the grounds that he is a Muslim typically fearful of Allah.

 

Nevertheless, I find fault with a lot of men who, having got a second wife, keep a second marriage secret although they have got legally married. They obviously feel awkward to make this marriage public because children are brought up to regard a second wife as a catastrophe, with media fallaciously striking the same note and imported Western patterns of thought rife”.

 

Dr. Fathiyya Nabarawi goes on to say further, “I have known some colleagues who have, from the very beginning, accepted being second wives. However, since marriages were consummated, they have been attempting to grab husbands only for themselves and to send them abandoning their first wives ‑ one of those wives has even requested her husband to divorce his first wife. Is that logical? Does such a behavior stand to reason?

 

Our society has been undergoing a multitude of blurry, fallacious precepts which make themselves most manifest in terms of an issue like polygamy, but they do exist ‑ though to a lesser degree ‑ in a lot more areas of our lives”.

 

Another woman professor of fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence), Dr. Nadia Hashem, airs her viewpoint as follows, ” In terms of Shari’aa, what does the verse (Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four) exactly mean? Does the verse signal general and absolute permissiveness, or rather, permissiveness qualified by certain curbs attached by Shari’aa?

 

Whereas some jurists have said that the verse signals absolute permissiveness, regardless of necessity or not, some other jurists have interpreted the verse as signaling only qualified permissiveness.

 

However, I advocate the latter team of jurists who believe the verse as. having permitted polygamy only qualifiedly.

 

Of the reasons I deem warranting taking a second wife, or more, are an ill or infertile wife, a husband who is so excessively potent that he fails to content himself with only one wife, or simply females outnumbering males in society.

 

There are estimated thirteen million unmarried girls ‑at, or well above, the age of marriage ‑ in Egypt, with girls above thirty years of age accounting for four millions girls.

 

In my own opinion, a necessity arises for polygamy against a background as such: if we do not resort to polygamy under these circumstances, a half of society’s girls will remain bachelor girls unable to be sexually abstinent”.

 

to be continued…

 

QUOTATIONS ABOUT POLYGAMY

The late Grand Sheikh of Al‑Azhar, Sheikh Mahmoud Shaltout, called on young gentlemen, so capable, to marry more than one woman.

 

During the era when Sheikh Shaltout was the Grand Sheikh of Al‑Azhar, nubile female’s threefold outnumbered males who were capable of getting married.

 

Therefore, Sheikh Shaltout deemed that every such young‑man should aptly marry three girls in a bid to stem, once and for all, the problem of having so many bachelor girls. Consequently, the Sheikh’s righteous comments sparked off a huge furore at the time, with Western‑minded people having agitatingly attacked the revered scholar. Nevertheless, he ventured out the storm like a firm mountain, never bowing to it as others are doing these days!!

 

Asked by a world TV station announcer about what he thought about polygamy, veteran Egyptian writer Anees Mansour said, “If I am in favor of a person’s right to give birth to as many children as he wishes, it does not matter then whether they be born to the same mother or not ‑ it is up to the father to freely decide”. In reply to another question by the same announcer whether he remains committed to trite, worn‑out principles, rather than keeping abreast of a rapidly‑changing world which does not any longer back a multitude of children as generated by polygamy (referring, of course, to the non‑Muslim world), Mansour said, “You have said that you are making your question personally, and this is my personal opinion. More candidly speaking, I am grateful to the lack of birth control for my presence, as I am the ninth among eleven children. I am not in favor of contenting oneself with only one wife, as I was born to the second wife of my father who kept two wives at a time. And I support freedom of choice”.[1][1]

 

 Dr. Ahmed Shalaby, a professor of civilization and Islamic history at the Cairo University Arabic‑Language Faculty, says, “Orientalists have agitatedly been making an outcry that polygamy ‑ as licensed by Islam ‑ is not acceptable. However, why should we use them as our yardstick?! It is exactly the West, which permitted mistresses, with million illegitimate children ensuing.

 

Undoubtedly, polygamy is more sublime and chaste than having concubines. A mistress has no access to rights, nor does her children. Polygamy is more largely to women’s advantage, rather than to their detriment.”[2][2]     They even can forestall polygamy if they commonly consent that none of them should marry a married man. Nevertheless, they so do to satisfy a need, instead of remaining bachelor girls”.

 

to be continued…

 

 

 


Can We Want to Marry?

Question and Answer Details

Name of Questioner

Shereen

 

Title

Can We Want to Marry?

 

Date

08/Jun/2006

 

Question

Is it right for girls to wish that they want to get engaged even though the parents are not planning to get her engaged any time soon? What if it is just a wish and there is not any guy whom she loves?

 

 

 

Topic

Marriage

 

Name of Counselor

Sahar El-Nadi

Answer

Salam, Sister Shereen.

 

Thank you for trusting our page with your dreams. We wish you and all Muslims joyful lives in stable homes.

 

Your question implies that you’re probably a teenager, so I’m proud of you for your maturity, choosing to consult before getting involved in a relationship. May Allah always guide you to what pleases Him.

 

Romantic daydreaming is part of a stage in everyone’s life, where emotions take us on sentimental journeys to imaginary worlds with invented people. However, as good Muslims, we shouldn’t let daydreaming waste our lives! So what should we do? Stop dreaming or do something useful with our dreams?

 

There is nothing wrong with wishing to find a mate as Allah decreed for humans. Your feelings are quite natural and they’re recognized by Islam. Love as a pure emotion for the right person under proper guidelines is actually encouraged in Islam. What’s forbidden is abusing love to fulfill desires without legal commitment.

 

I must ask you here: do you want to get engaged to be married and bear the heavy responsibility of a Muslim home, or just to have a man in your life to “have fun with” as seen in movies and musical videos? Please be careful, because while pop culture pressures us to look for “sexy” people who can turn heads, Islam teaches us to look for righteous people who can turn souls!

 

We must not let our rush —to be in love— drag us into dangerous situations with the wrong people. You need, first, to know the Islamic guidance on how to choose a good Muslim husband and how to be a good Muslim future-wife to be chosen by one.

 

All parents dream of seeing their daughters married, and I’m sure your parents want what’s best for you, so they probably have good reasons for postponing that. They probably see you are still unprepared, due to your young age or your need to reach a certain level of education first.

 

In any relationship, we have to fulfill certain responsibilities first in order to earn our rights. So, while you are dreaming of your right to be engaged, it’s wise to explore the responsibilities attached and check if you’re prepared to handle them yet.

 

A Muslim has a responsibility to invest every moment of precious life in doing something useful. So, try turning your wishes into energy to make you a better Muslim, who is ready for taking charge of a home. Here are some suggestions:

 

1- It is a psychological fact that we grow into the images we make for ourselves. So try to imagine a detailed vision of yourself as a good and correct Muslim wife and mother, and ask yourself: how am I going to be that woman? How do I make that dream come true?

 

2- Do you have a role model? Someone you look up to and want to grow like? Is that person worthy of your admiration and pleases Allah. Or do you have the wrong example on a poster above your bed? Do you read and listen to lectures about women who made a difference for our Ummah (Muslim nation)? If not, my advice is that you search to know them and study their personal biographies and extract lessons for yourself to live by and to follow until the right man comes along.

 

3- You need to make an effort to prepare yourself for handling the pressures of our modern world too, so consider in parallel with learning your religion, to focus on your role in life. Why has Allah created you and what is your mission in this world? What is your goal for the next life and how are you going to get there? Keep an eye on the news of the world in all aspects of life; learn computer and Internet skills and languages. Search how to lead a healthy life and how to be physically fit. You will need to be fit to manage a successful life. Read about good housekeeping, home budgeting, successful relationships, effective communication, child upbringing, decoration, crafts and healthy cooking. Attend classes in those and other topics to improve your skills.

 

Once you are fully prepared for your responsibilities and you have chosen the right Muslim man to be the focus of your dreams, make sure to adjust your niyyah (intention). Raising a good Muslim family with your dream-man should be with the intention of pleasing God Almighty and Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

 

Your question indicates that you are a good person Shereen, so I don’t need to remind you to listen to your parents. Please don’t do anything behind their back. Get them involved in your matters and ask for their guidance as soon as you meet someone you like. If you want Allah to bless your future life, make sure that your path to Him passes through the hearts of your parents.

 

Also, bare in mind that this man —when you find him— is not a mahram to you (not legal husband, brother or father, etc.) until he is legally your husband, so your behavior with him should reflect the Islamic teachings you respect. Don’t let emotions lead you into what may displease Allah. If Allah has destined him for you, then there will be plenty of time, after you become officially husband and wife, to express your feelings for each other. However, if he is not meant for you, then why commit something you will regret later?

 

Until that time comes —and I pray that Allah may send him soon to you— would you consider sharing the pure love in your heart with those who really need it? Think of joining a charity to take care of orphan kids or weak animals and lavish your love on them. Besides giving you an outlet for your feelings, it will also hopefully gain you enough rearward to grant you Allah’s approval and pleasure. He is the Only One Who can give you what you want, so never stop making du`a’ and good deeds.

 

We will pray for you too, and may Allah guide all Muslims to suitable mates and support them in raising good Muslim families, amen.

 

I hope this answers your question. If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to send us again. Thank you and please keep in touch.

 

Salam.

 

Useful Links:

 

Purity of Man-Woman Relationship

 

To Love or to Know, What Comes First?

 

Distinguishing Culture from Religion Concerning Marriage

 

Parents Opinion in Marriage

 

Asking God for the Right Mate

 

The Philosophy of Marriage in Islam

 

My Parents Refuse the Person I Love: What to Do?

 

Du`a’ to Hasten Marriage

 

Foundation of Successful Marriage

 

1,2,3’s of Marital Life

 

Love in Islam

 

 

Woman’s Marriage: Necessary?

Question : Respected scholars, as-salamu `alaykum. I am a 26 year old female and my parents are asking me to get married but I want to be single all my life. I am afraid of this commitment because I have seen my parents’ dysfunctional marriage. And is it necessary for a woman to marry? Jazakum Allahu Khayran.

 

Answer : Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

 

Thanks for your interesting question, which reflects your deep belief in the fact that Islam has answers for every problem facing mankind. Our utmost wish is just for all of us to adhere to the teachings of this great religion which came to save mankind from the peril of succumbing to the material life, to rescue it from darkness and following whims and self inclinations, and bring it into the light of guidance and eternal prosperity.

 

Although marriage is generally considered a highly recommended act, from the Islamic point of view marriage differs according to the state and conditions of each person: It can be highly recommended in some cases, or even obligatory under certain conditions. It can also be prohibited or only permitted under other circumstances.

 

In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada , states the following:

While you are advised to be respectful to your parents and be extremely gentle and compassionate in dealing and interacting with them, and to try your best to understand their feelings and appreciate their anxieties, the final decision about your marriage is left to you and not to them.

 

Your parents have every right to advise you and offer you the best insights they can give you, and you must thank them for this; nevertheless, when it comes to the issue of your marriage, it is you and you alone who ought to decide whether you wish to get married, when and where, and with whom. Your parents can only make suggestions. It may be in your best interest to benefit from such insights that they can offer, however, the final decision is solely yours and not theirs. For you are the one who is going to live with your marriage partner.

 

Having said this, however, I must point out that the negative views you have about marriage are due to your past experiences. To generalize based on this experience is, at best, wrong. Islam teaches us not to get carried away by impulsive, whimsical inclinations in our judgments. We must take into account all aspects of an issue before coming to a sound judgment.

 

The fact that your experience of marriage has been negative does not in any way prove that all marriages are the same. Success or failure of a marriage is dependent, in large measure, on the kind of attitudes of life one brings to it. As Muslims, we believe that the recipe for good life is contained in accepting the sovereignty of Allah and acting upon the guidance He has sent down: Allah says, [Verily this Qur’an guides (humanity) to a state of being that is most upright (and fulfilling) … ] (Al-Israa’ 17: 9).

 

Finally, in regards to your question about the precise status of marriage in Islam, the answer is that it varies according to the person and their circumstance. In other words, marriage is obligatory on those who are unable to control their desires and are afraid of falling into sin; it is recommended for all those who have desire for union and yet do not fear falling into sin; it is undesirable for those who have no desire and are afraid of fulfilling their spousal obligations; and it is clearly forbidden for those who have no desire whatsoever and are incapable of doing justice, and may end up harming or injuring their partners. An example is someone who has a sexually transmitted disease which they may end up passing to others if they get married.

 

To conclude: If you belong to the category of those who have no desire for union, and you feel you cannot fulfill the spousal obligations, then there is nothing wrong for you to remain a celibate. That decision is solely yours, and your parents have no right to force you to get married. May Allah help us see truth as truth and follow it, and may He help us to see error as error and shun it—ameen.

 

Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: http://www.islam.ca

 

 

 

 

What is the Islamic ruling on marriage? And when it is deemed obligatory?

Question and Answer Details

Name of Questioner

Mustapha   – United States

 

Title

The Islamic Ruling on Marriage

 

Question

What is the Islamic ruling on marriage? And when it is deemed obligatory?

 

Date

20/Nov/2002

 

Name of Mufti

IOL Shari`ah Researchers

Topic

Marriage

Answer


In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, we commend your keenness on getting your self well-acquainted with Islam and its teachings, which is the way Allah has chosen for the welfare of His servants.

Islam – being a natural way of life – takes into account all of genuine human instincts such as physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, et cetera. Islam generally encourages marriage as the pure and legitimate way for regulating and fulfilling these instincts and desires. It is against both curbing man’s desires through celibacy or giving them free rein through licentiousness and sexual permissiveness.

As regards the question you posed, we’d like to state that the ruling on marriage differs according to the state and conditions of each person. It can be obligatory or recommendable under certain conditions. It can also be prohibited or only permitted under other circumstances. The different rulings on marriage are explained in the fatwa issued by the late prominent Muslim scholar and author of Fiqh As-Sunnah, Sheikh Sayyed Sabiq. He states the following:

Obligatory Marriage:

Marriage is obligatory for whoever is able to afford it, has desire for sexual intercourse, and is afraid to indulge in fornication. Here, it is obligatory because protecting oneself against fornication and preserving one’s chastity is obligatory, and this cannot be achieved except through marriage. Al-Qurtubi says: “Celibacy is not recommended for whoever is able to bear the expenses of marriage, and is likely to commit illicit affairs that violate both his honor and his religion, for one sometimes may not be able to overcome temptation except by marriage. In this case marriage is, according to a scholarly consensus, obligatory. But one who has desire for sexual intercourse, but does not have enough money for the expenditures of marital life may find solace in the words of Allah, Exalted be He, Who says: “Let those who find not the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah gives them means out of His Grace.” (An-Nur: 33)

Man is recommended to suppress his sexual appetite by fasting; a group of Hadith transmitters narrated on the authority of Ibn Mas`ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “O youth! Whoever amongst you is able to marry, let him marry, because it helps him keep his eyes away from lustful looks and preserve his chastity. And whoever is not able to marry, let him observe fasting, as it is a shield for him (i.e. protection from lapsing in fornication).”

Commendable Marriage:

One who has desire for sexual intercourse, who is able to bear the expenses of marriage, and, at the same time, is able to suppress his sexual desire, protect himself against committing illicit affairs is recommended to marry. In this case, marriage in this case is better than devoting oneself to worship, because monasticism is not a characteristic of Islam. At-Tabarani narrated on the authority of Sa`d ibn Abi Waqqas that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Allah has revealed tolerant monotheism (Islam), to replace the Christians’ monasticism.” Al-Bayhaqi also narrated on the authority of Abu Umamah that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Marry one another, for I will be boast of your great numbers in front of other nations (on the Day of Judgement), but don not lapse in the Christians’ monasticism.” `Umar once said to Abu Az-Zawa’id: “Nothing can make man refrain from marriage except inability or indulging in fornication.” Ibn `Abbas also said: “The faith of a devoted believer will never be perfected unless he marries.”

Prohibited Marriage:

Marriage is prohibited for anyone who cannot observe his wife’s rights, because of being undesirous for sexual intercourse due to a physical defect, or because of inability to afford marriage. Al-Qurtubi states: When man is unable to marry due to lack of money to cover the expenses of marriage, to pay the bride’s dowry, or any of her financial rights, he must not marry unless he lets the bride know of his inability, or unless he becomes able to afford marriage. And so is the case if he has some physical weakness that makes him unable to have sexual intercourse (i.e. if he is impotent); he must let his bride know of it, in order not to deceive her. Moreover, he must not pretend that he hails from a noble family, that he is a wealthy man, or that he holds a prestigious post.

The same applies to women. A woman who is unable to observe her husband’s rights, or who has some defect which prevents her husband from making love to her, such as insanity, leprosy, elephantiasis, genital or vaginal disease, must never deceive him; rather, she must let him know what is wrong with her. This is like the example of a sale contract; the seller must inform the buyer of any defect in the commodity he is purchasing.

That is to say, when one of the spouses finds some defect in his/or her mate, he/or she may annul the marriage. Thus, when the husband finds any defect in his wife, he may annul the marriage, and take back the dowry he paid her. It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married a woman from Bayadah folk. Then he found that she was leprous in her flank, so he sent her back to her parents, and said to them. “You have deceived me.”

Imam Malik is reported to have stated two different opinions concerning the wife of the impotent, who discovers this after consummating marriage then seeks separation on account of this defect. Imam Malik once said that in such a case the wife can seek for marriage annulment and take her full dowry; his another view is that she takes half of her dowry. By and Large, Malik’s different points of view depend on his different opinions as to whether the bride’s dowry is due immediately after she allows her husband to have sex with her, or after he consummating marriage.

Permissible Marriage:

Marriage is permissible for any person who has nothing to warrant his marriage or prohibit it.”

You can also read:

Is Marriage Obligatory?

The Philosophy of Marriage in Islam

 

 

 
 

Allah Almighty knows best.

The Philosophy of Marriage in Islam

Question and Answer Details

Name of Questioner

Abu Muhammad   – United States

 

Title

The Philosophy of Marriage in Islam

 

Question

I have noticed that there is a trend inviting young people to refrain from marriage via numerous methods, including intimidating them as regards the responsibilities they are to shoulder as well as casting doubt over the institution of marriage itself. Is there a way to refute these allegations?

 

Date

10/Jul/2007

 

Name of Mufti

Yusuf Al-Qaradawi

Topic

Marriage

Answer

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we would like to thank you for your very interesting question and the great confidence you place in us. We implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.
Marriage in Islam is intended to cater to multiple purposes which include, above all, spiritual tranquility and peace, and cooperation and partnership in fulfilling the divine mandate. Islam – being a natural way of life – takes into account all of genuine human instincts such as physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, et cetera.

Although fulfilling one’s physical needs in a decent manner is one of the main purposes of marriage, it is not the sole one. According to the clear statement of the Qur’an, tranquility and peace through a successful union is considered the primary objective of marriage: (Among His signs is that He created for you spouses of your own kind in order that you may repose to them in tranquility and He instilled in your hearts love and affection for one another; verily, in these are signs for those who reflect (on the nature of the reality).)

(Ar-Rum 30: 21).
In another place, Allah refers to the relationship between males and females in terms of partnership for achieving goodness and fulfilling the divine mandate for their lives. (The believers, males and females, are partners of one another; they shall jointly enjoin all that is good and counsel against all that is evil.)

(At-Tawbah 9: 71)
Responding to the question in point, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, states:

 

Just as Islam aims at rearing a righteous individual, being the cornerstone in the social structure of the nation, it also seeks to establish a sound family, the prime and essential factor in building a good society. It is never disputed that marriage – that unites a man and a woman in solemn matrimony – is the foundation that gives rise to the family. There is no way a real or proper family could ever exist out of wedlock, the way that has been legislated by Allah, Exalted be He.
Perverted ideas opposing the institution of marriage:

Throughout the ages, humanity has come to learn of ideas and trends that oppose the idea of marriage. In Persia (now Iran), before the advent of Islam, there emerged Mani’s philosophy, which claimed that the world abounds in evil, that it should be exterminated and that prohibiting marriage is the fastest way to effect this goal.

Under the banner of Christianity appeared extreme monasticism that denounces life, calls to getting incarcerated in monasteries and prohibiting marriage, because woman, they held, is a cause of temptation and a devil incarnate. Venturing near her is in itself a sin that corrupts a soul and alienates one from Heaven.

In modern times, there exist in the West pessimists who totally condemned woman, describing her as a serpent, with a soft touch but deadly venom. They further claim that marriage offers her the golden opportunity to place man under her thumb and shackle him with responsibilities. So why should man, out of his own free will, choose to place those chains around his neck though he was born free?

Unfortunately, some of our contemporary Muslim youth have been fallen prey to those perverted ideas, and thereupon decided to refrain from marriage that entails endless responsibilities, obligations and restrictions. They, on the other hand, wish to live their entire lives as children shouldering no responsibilities. If overcome by desire or the call of their instincts, vicious adultery will certainly quench their thirst in lieu of lawful marriage.

The objectives of marriage in Islam:

a) According to the divine laws and norms, nothing can ever perform its duty single-handedly. Allah meant everything to be in need of another of its kind, so that one would complement the other. In the field of electricity, positive and negative poles need to be in contact so as to induce an electric current, which in turn, yields light, heat, motion, etc. Likewise, electrons and protons should be in contact inside an atom. In plants, pollen grain carrying male gametes fertilize a flower’s stigma to produce more plants, fruits and seeds. Male and female animals have to be in contact in order to reproduce. The Glorious Qur’an highlights this universal law in the following two verses: (And all things We have created by pairs, that haply ye may reflect.) (Adh-Dhariyat 51: 49) (Glory be to Him Who created all the sexual pairs, of that which the earth groweth, and of themselves, and of that which they know not.)

(Ya-Sin 36: 36) In response to this law, Allah, Exalted be He, has legislated a sublime tradition for a man and a woman to be united in such a way as befits the lofty status of human beings, namely through marriage.
Allah, Exalted be He, has inculcated in a man’s heart a longing for a woman, and in a woman’s heart a longing for a man. Each of them is driven by a far more exigent need than hunger or thirst. Each of them senses a definite emptiness in his or her life that can only be filled with their union, according to the divine laws, namely via marriage. Only then does stability replace confusion and reassurance does replace anxiety. Each of them finds in the other serenity, love and mercy that light their lives and enrich their souls. The following is one of Allah’s glaring signs in our universe, which the Glorious Qur’an points to: (Among His signs is that He created for you spouses of your own kind in order that you may repose to them in tranquility and He instilled in your hearts love and affection for one another; verily, in these are signs for those who reflect (on the nature of the reality).)

(Ar-Rum 30: 21)
b) Reproduction is the natural outcome of marriage. It serves to prolong man’s existence, thanks to the pious progeny that succeeds him. This is thus one of Allah’s bounties which He grants man saying, (And Allah hath given you wives of your own kind, and hath given you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and hath made provision of good things for you. Is it then in vanity that they believe and in the grace of Allah that they disbelieve?)

(An-Nahl 16: 72)
It is also for this reason that Prophet Zakariyyah (Zachariah, peace be upon him) supplicated to Allah saying: (And Zachariah, when he cried unto his Lord: My Lord! Leave me not childless, though Thou art the best of inheritors,) (Al-Anbiya’ 21: 89) and (Lo! I fear my kinsfolk after me, since my wife is barren. Oh, give me from Thy presence a successor. Who shall inherit of me and inherit (also) of the house of Jacob. And make him, my Lord, acceptable (unto Thee).) (Maryam 19: 5-6) Similarly, Ibrahim (Abraham), the father of the Prophets (peace be upon him), prayed to Allah saying: (My Lord! Vouchsafe me of the righteous. So We gave him tidings of a gentle son.) (As-Saffat 37: 100-101) and (Praise be to Allah Who hath given me, in my old age, Ishmael and Isaac! Lo! My Lord is indeed the Nearer of Prayer.) (Ibrahim 14: 29) The Glorious Qur’an describes the servants of Allah, the Most Gracious, as such: (And who say: Our Lord! Vouchsafe us comfort of our wives and of our offspring.)

(Al-Furqan 25: 74)
It is due to reproduction that the nation grows and multiplies, makes use of its potential and manages to combat its enemies. Few would suspect the fact that multitudes and masses of people are to be reckoned with when considering world power. Allah narrates what Prophet Shu`ayb (peace be upon him) told his people saying, (And remember, when ye were but few, how He did multiply you.)

(Al-A`raf 7: 86) Further, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) says, “Get married (and reproduce) for I will boast of your large numbers in front of other nations (on Judgment Day) and do not lapse into Christians’ monasticism.” (Reported by al-Bayhaqi on the authority of Abu Umamah, and it is mentioned in al-Jami` as-Sahih)
Reproduction serves to preserve the entire human species all around the globe until the point when life comes to an end. Allah, Exalted be He, says, (O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women.) (An-Nisa’ 4: 1) and (O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made `you nations and tribes that ye may know one another.)

(Al-Hujurat 49: 13)
c) Marriage consummates one’s faith, spares one looking at other women, enables one to preserve his chastity and offers one a lawful means to satisfy his sexual desire. Adultery is, therefore, no longer an option. That is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) spoke of marriage saying, “It spares one looking at what one should not, or lapsing in adultery.” He (peace and blessings be upon him) also said, “If Allah grants a Muslim a righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion (faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other half.” (Reported by At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim, and Al-Mundhri states in At-Targhib that it is an authentic hadith with a good chain of narrators)

d) Not only does marriage help a Muslim preserve his faith, it is also the indispensable pillar of worldly happiness which Islam encourages its followers to enjoy so that nothing would distract them from the ultimate goal of uplifting their souls and attaining high degrees of spirituality. Imam Muslim reports that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The whole world is pleasure, and the best pleasure of the world is the righteous woman.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is also reported to have said: “Four things bring one joy: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal.” (Reported by Al-Hakim, Abu-Nu`aym and Al-Bayhaqi)
e) Marriage is the sole means of establishing a family, the nucleus of society. No respectable human society could ever exist, if not based on the family. Shaded by the close relations of motherhood, fatherhood as well as parent-child and siblings relations, warm feelings of love, altruism, mercy, care and cooperation are instilled in a Muslim.

f) Social relations are bolstered with the aid of marriage, whereby scope of family expands including his in-laws and his children’s aunts and uncles. That way feelings of amity, love and social closeness extend to include more and more people. Allah meant relations by marriage to be just as strong as kinship relations. Allah, Exalted be He, says, (And He it is Who hath created man from water, and hath appointed for him kindred by blood and kindred by marriage; for thy Lord is ever Powerful.)

(Al-Furqan: 54)
g) Marriage matures a man’s character through the responsibilities he has to shoulder, as a husband and a father, and similarly matures a woman’s character through the responsibilities she has to shoulder, as a wife and a mother. As we have just explained, many men refrain from marriage simply because they wish to live as grown-up children with no ties to bind them, no house to unite them or responsibilities they are to undertake. Such people are not fit to live; they are good for nothing. Marriage is thus a strong commitment and a shared responsibility between a man and a woman since their first day together.

Allah, Exalted be He, says, (And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise.) (Al-Baqarah 2: 228) (Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath men the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded.)

(An-Nisa’ 4: 34)
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for those in his charge; the man, in his home, is a guardian and responsible for his household; the woman, concerning her husband’s property, is a guardian and responsible for what she is entrusted with.” (Agreed upon hadith) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also said, “Man would be committing a huge sin if he were to ruin whomever he supports.” (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Al-Hakim and Al-Bayhaqi on the authority of Ibn `Umar) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) further noted, “Allah shall ask every guardian about what he has been entrusted with, whether he preserved or ruined it.” (Reported by An-Nasa’i and Ibn Hibban on the authority of Anas) He (peace and blessings be upon him) also said, “One’s spouse is entitled to certain rights.” (Agreed upon Hadith, reported on the authority of Ibn `Umar)

h) Having got married, a man can focus on perfecting his work, reassured that there is someone back home who disposes of his affairs, preserves his money and takes care of his children. He can thus do his job properly. This stands in sharp contrast to another whose mind is preoccupied and who is torn apart between his work and home, his job and the burden of securing his food and clothes back home.

 

 

 

Related Questions

The Islamic Ruling on Marriage

Is Marriage Obligatory?

 
  

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

Kisah Teladan – 2

Ada seorang kawan saya yang berasal daripada Indonesia menceritakan sebuah kisah benar yang berlaku di Mesir. Kawan saya mendapat cerita ini daripada kawannya yang belajar di Mesir. Ceritanya begini:
Ada seorang ustazah orang arab Mesir yang menolak peraturan poligami dan yang lebih dahsyat lagi dia menyebut ketidakpuasan hatinya tentang poligami di dalam ceramah-ceramahnya. Waktu itu umurnya lebih kurang 27 tahun. Keadaan ini berlarutan selama lebih kurang 7 tahun dan ustazah ini masih lagi belum dilamar orang. Memandangkan umurnya sudah mencecah 34 tahun tapi masih belum berkahwin maka timbullah di hatinya keinsafan tentang apa yang telah dilakukannya yang akhirnya dia menerima peraturan poligami sebagaimana yang disyari’atkan oleh Islam.
Pada satu hari datang seorang kaya yang ingin melamarnya untuk menjadikannya isteri kedua dan maka pergilah orang kaya itu dengan niat untuk melamar ustazah tersebut berjumpa  dengan kakaknya. Oleh kerana kakaknya tidak mengetahui yang adiknya sudah berubah iaitu sudah menerima hukum poligami maka dia mengatakan kepada orang kaya itu supaya membatalkan sahaja niatnya untuk berkahwin dengan adiknya kerana adiknya adalah seorang yang menolak peraturan poligami. Orang kaya itu tidak jadi memperisterikan ustazah itu. Kakaknya memberitahu kepada adiknya tentang peristiwa itu. Ustazah itu terkejut lantas memberitahu kakaknya yang dia telah insaf dan tidak lagi menolak peraturan poligami seperti mana yang dilakukannya dahulu. Ustazah itu mengatakan kepada kakaknya yang sekiranya dia menjadi isteri kedua dia ikhlas membenarkan suaminya berkahwin untuk isteri yang ketiga. Wallahu a’lam.

Did Allah create man in a way that he cannot be loyal to his only wife?

Name: unknown    – India

  

Question:

Assalamu `alaikum,  
 
In Islam it is said that men and women are given equal status and rights. But I do feel that women have not received equal status and rights as that of men. Islam permits polygamy for men. At times of need polygamy permitted. Can it be accepted by women. But sometimes a man has no need to remarry and still he remarries another woman in spite of the unwillingness of his wife, for he is attracted towards the other woman’s beauty. Is this permitted in Islam as the wife might be hurt a lots. I also have seen many women hurt for their husbands remarrying when there is no need. Islam teaches men to be kind, polite towards their wives and also not to hurt them. But does Islam permit men to hurt their wives when it is the case of polygamy. Did Allah create man in a way that he cannot be loyal to his only wife? Please, please answer my question.  
 
Thank you.  
May Allah bless you.

 

Answer:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  
 
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.  
 
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
 
 
The relationship between a husband and wife is based on ma`roof or kindness, compassion and mercy. Both husband and wife are supposed to work at pleasing each other and dealing kindly towards each other.  
 
When it comes to the rights of both men and women in Islam, we should believe that Allah SWT is the JUST and the WISE. So He only gives people what is good for them and only demands what is for our interest and common good. The problem is that we sometimes look very selfishly and try to have all the good for ourselves without looking at the society in large.  
 
As for polygamy, it is allowed in Islam. It is to be used for the purposes for which it is permitted and not to be abused at any case. It is true that Allah permits the man to marry four wives, but if we think neutral and try to investigate the benefit of that without thinking of our own interests only, we will find the wisdom and significance of polygamy.  
 

For example, if a wife puts herself in place of a widow who does not have anyone to care or look after her, and think sincerely of a solution to her problem, she will find that she would love to be a second wife than to stay as widow and continue to suffer the problems in raising children and getting the same life as her peers do. So, there is always wisdom behind polygamy.  
 
As for hurting the feelings of the first wife, I am personally of the view that a husband should discuss this issue with his wife and they should both reach a reasonable agreement. If the wife finds herself unable to accept her husband taking another wife, she has every right to demand divorce and get her rights fully and separate in kindness. But if she thinks reasonably and not emotionally and weigh the pros and cons or being divorced and second wife, she could reach a better conclusion to save her family life and husband.  
 
This does not mean the husband is allowed to abuse polygamy. It is only allowed for whoever is able to treat all wives equally and fairly. If he cannot be just and fair it is forbidden to take another wife.  
 
Allah Almighty knows best.

 

Source:  http://www.islamonline.net/

 

 

 

Question pertaining to polygamy in Muslim Country

Ask the Scholar

Name: Abu Muhammad   – Malaysia
Title Educating Ourselves About Shari`ah

Question:

Assalamu’alaykum,
Dear Scholar,

I have read a lot of articles, Q&A, opinions from Islamonline.net about polygamy in Islam. No doubt polygamy is allowed in Islam as mentioned by Allah Ta’ala in Surah Al-Nisaa’ verse 3. The law of polygamy been practiced by our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him), his companions and Muslims all over the world until now. In my opinion, enemies of Islam are working very hard nowadays, days and nights to eliminate this shari’ ah of Islam so that they can spread prostitution, adultery, fornication, homosexual, lesbian, and whatever you name it in Islamic countries. What I am worried too much is that this shari’ ah of Islam (polygamy) is treated as if not very important in Islam by some Muslims and many Muslims behaved as if not agreed with the shari’ ah or try not to implement it in Muslim society.
We believe that as a Muslim it is obligatory for us to accept all verses in the Qur’an whether we like it or not. My question is how to educate or sort of to make Muslims realize the importance of implementation of all Islamic shari’ ahs in ourselves, our families, and our societies? After all, not necessarily all Muslims will marry more that one woman because it is a matter of choice. Wallahu’alam.

Date: 27/Mar/2006
MuftiIOL Shari`ah Researchers

 
Answer:
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
 
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
 
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
 
Dear questioner, thank you very much for having confidence in us, and we hope our efforts, which are purely for Allah’s Sake, meet your expectations.
Reading your question thoroughly, we share many of your views mentioned in the question regarding the Shari`ah and its real presence and application in our lives. In this regard, we would like that you make use of the following tips:

  1. It is the role of Muslim scholars in all parts of the world to educate Muslims about the wide scope of Islamic Shari`ah and to make them really realize that the Shari`ah has solutions to all our problems.
  2. Muslim individuals should exert utmost efforts to seek proper knowledge about Islam and the Shari`ah and they should be good ambassadors of their religion.
  3. It is the role of Muslim institutions especially in majority Muslim countries such as Malaysia to face such vicious campaigns against Islam by increasing their awareness campaigns about such social ills such as adultery, fornication, homosexuality and lesbianism, etc.
  4. Implementing the Shari`ah is not restricted to one aspect regarding legal punishments but it goes far to encompass all the aspects of life. This is in addition to the fact that any person with a sound intellect agrees that the Shari`ah aims at removing hardship from people and giving them solutions to their problems regardless of their places and locations.
  5.  It is our responsibility, as Muslims, to know the rules of Allah and put them into practice with sincerity. But before anything, we should ask ourselves if we are really practicing justice. Are we really fair to others, to our spouses, to our relatives, to our neighbors, employees, employers, to Muslims, to other human beings, to animals, to anything and everything? Are we really compassionate people? Are we really increasing in compassion or are we becoming angry, hateful, arrogant, or complacent about ourselves? We must improve ourselves in justice and compassion. If we do not have `adl (justice) and ihsan (compassion) or rahmah (mercy), then we are not practicing the Shari`ah. Similarly, if we think that we are following the law of Allah but the result is injustice and lack of compassion, then it means that we have not properly understood the law of Allah or we are not interpreting it right.

Finally, we think that it will be very much beneficial for you to preview the contents of the Shari`ah & Humanity Special page. In addition, we think that forwarding your future queries or even contribution to this page will be very much appreciated.

Allah Almighty knows best.

Fatwa Editor:
El-Sayed Amin

Source: http://www.islamonline.net/