Bicara poligami…(15)

Ada seorang ustaz, da’ie, harakiyy, pernah berkata utk memahami syariat poligami di dalam Islam biasanya orang yg berumur 40 tahun ke atas. Saya menambah… umur 37 thn, 38 thn pun boleh memahaminya juga.

Saya bimbang sebenarnya bila mendengar perkataan tidak rela, tidak suka, benci, menyampah, meluat, ttg syariat poligami ini.

Misalan yg ingin saya utarakan di sini spt berikut:

Saya tidak rela ayah saya mengamalkan poligami, sebab saya tidak suka syariat poligami. Kenapa tidak suka syariat poligami sebab ayah saya tidak layak utk berpoligami. Sebab apa ayah saya tidak layak berpoligami sebab dia masih kurang penglibatannya dalam dakwah. Jadi dia masih tidak layak utk berpoligami sehinggalah ayah saya menjadi seorang da’ie yang komited, yang taat beribadah macam ‘alim ulama’. Apa syarat poligami sebagaimana yang Allah Taala nyatakan di dalam Al-Quran? Allah Taala berfirman sekiranya kamu boleh berlaku adil kamu boleh mengahwini wanita-wanita dua, tiga, atau empat. Sekiranya kamu takut tidak boleh berlaku adil kahwini seorang sahaja.

Kenapa kamu tidak rela? Sebab kamu benci kepada syariat poligami. Sebab kamu selalu tonton di dalam TV, filem banyak keburukan ttg poligami. Sebab apa kamu kata syariat poligami buruk sebab kamu tak jumpa contoh yang baik. Mungkin sebab kamu tak baca sirah Islam, bagaimana terdapat banyak contoh2 para sahabat Baginda, tabi’in dan banyak lagi yang menunjukkan contoh yg baik. Kamu tak yakin apa yg Allah Taala turunkan iaitu syariat poligami? Kamu tak baca Al-Quran surah Al-Nisaa’ ayat 3? Atau kamu skip (langkah) saja ayat itu dan baca ayat2 yg lain saja? Bolehkah kamu tinggalkan satu ayat di dalam Al-Quran sebab kamu tidak suka syariat itu? Jawapannya sudah tentu tak boleh sebab kita WAJIB beriman kepada Al-Quran keseluruhannya.

Nasihat saya: Belajarlah daripada guru/ustaz yg ikhlas dan berpengalaman…ilmu bukan semata-mata melalui buku tetapi banyaknya datang dari pengalaman hidup.

Marilah kita sama-sama bertaubat sebelum kita dipanggil pulang oleh Allah Taala dalam keadaan kita membenci syariatnya. Astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah…

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Women, Polygamy and Islam

It has been considered for years that Islam does not give equal rights to men and women, and consider women only subject of comfort for males. This opinion has been delivered time and time again by renowned women activists but their basis of arguments being only the alleged facts. Their main argument is against the permission given towards polygamy in Islam. But many scholars who have gone through the pain in studying what Islam actually says have different opinion. They agree, in general, that Islam’s approach to polygamy is most balanced and rational and is based on the moral, psychological and physiological demands of men and women (The Independent 13).

It should be remembered that taking more than one wife is only permissible, not ordained by the Quran – as some ‘progressive’ activist would like to believe. The Quranic verse that allows polygamy should be read in the context it was revealed. The Verse says, “And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two, three and four, but if you fear that you may not do justice to them, then (marry) only one” (4: 3). This verse was revealed after the battle of Uhud. In that battle, many Muslim men died and as such a great social problem for the protection of widows and orphans arose, necessitating an institutionalized polygamy for a convenient solution of the problem.

Some of the eminent Western scholars who actually studied Islam, quite blatantly criticized the Western and other self proclaimed writers for venting their opinion as facts. In her book The Life and Teachings of Muhammed, Dr. Annie Besant, the renowned English leader of Theosophical Movement, says: ” There is pretended monogamy in the West, but in reality, there is polygamy without responsibility; the mistress is cast off when the man is weary of her … the first lover has no responsibility for her future, and she is a hundred times worst off then the sheltered wife in a polygamous home. “When we see thousands of miserable women who crowd the streets of Western towns during the night, we must surely feel that it does not lie in the Western mouth to reproach Islam for polygamy. It is better for woman, happier for woman, more respectable for woman to live in polygamy, united to one man, only with a legitimate child in her arms and surrounded with respect, than to be seduced and then cast out into the streets perhaps with illegitimate child outside the rule of law, uncared, unsheltered, to become victim of any passer-by, night after night, rendered incapable of motherhood despised by all. “You can find others,” continues Annie Besant, “stating that religion Islam is evil because it sanctions a limited polygamy. But you do not hear as a rule the criticism … that monogamy with a blended mass of prostitution was a hypocrisy and more degrading than a limited polygamy. “… it must be remembered that the law of Islam in relation to women was until lately, when parts of it was imitated initiated in England, the most just law, as far as women are concerned, to be found in the world. Dealing with property, …rights of succession,… cases of divorce, it was far beyond the law of the West, in the respect which was paid to the rights of women. Those things are forgotten while people are hypnotized by the words monogamy and polygamy and do not look at what lies behind it in the West – the frightful degradation of women…”

Divorce in Islam

The next point of confrontation regarding women is the issue of divorce. It is a well accepted thought that Islam allows the husband to get rid of his wife on his free will, any time he likes by uttering a particular word three times repeatedly. This idea is totally baseless and has got nothing to do with Islam is quite clear when one takes the pain of studying it. first of all, the marriage in Islam is a social contract, and it can be dissolved if it proves, in any way, injurious or incompatible to the wife or to the husband. The wife has been given as much right to obtain the divorce as the husband. But the process of divorce has been set with a time limit of three months, so that a major decision like this is not taken in a moment of anger, and then both of them reproaches it after their anger vents out. This has been clearly instructed in the Holy Quran, but made unnecessarily confused by some elite class to suite their own purpose. On the Timing of divorce: ” O Prophet! if ye do divorce woman, divorce them at their prescribed periods, and count (accurately) their prescribed periods: And fear Allah, your Lord: And turn them not out of your houses, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of open lewdness ” (LXV: 1). On waiting periods for divorced women: ” Divorced woman must wait three monthly courses. And it is not lawful for them to hide what Allah has created in their wombs, if they sincerely believe in Allah and the last day…” (2:228) Thus a clear three months period is mandatory before the final pronouncement is to be given. Each pronouncement of Talaq has to be made with a month’s increment between it, so that their is chance that the couple repents and decide to continue their life together. After all, the prophet’s saying goes ‘Divorce is most disliked by Allah among all permissible things.’ As women have got full rights to decide on to their separations, they also have full rights to chose partners in marriage, which is against what the ‘learned’ class would like to believe. No marriage in Islam is valid unless the bride and the bride-groom give their verbal consents regarding their marriage.

Status of Women in Islam

The status given to the women by Islam is another point of conflict as most of the “literate lots” would very much like to believe that women in Islam are still unliberated. However, it would be pointless to defend Islam by saying that Islam did give Women full equality in all respect to men (as some scholars defending Islam tried to do), as in reality, Islam does recognize the fact that women and men have their differences on the basis of their physical and physiological aspects, which is clearly stated in the Holy Quran in the following verses: “… Wives have the same rights as the husbands have on them in accordance with the generally known principles. Ofcourse, men are a degree above them in status, and above all is Allah, the All-Mighty, the All-Wise” (2: 228). “Men are in charge of women because Allah has made the one superior to the other and because men spend their wealth on women” (4: 34).

Thus, in Islam, men and women have absolute equality in stature, but with a complete difference in labor. Being subjected to the responsibility of taking care of the house-holds, is considered somewhat degrading nowadays, forwarding the possible idea that Islam has kept women away from nation building. But if we are to consider Napoleon’s saying that ‘Give me a good mother; I will give you a good nation’, then we can see that in reality nation building starts at home, and failure to learn correct guidance at home would lead the generations to degrade, without even being concerned over it. In fact the Islamic concept of household is that it is the smallest unit in the greater organization of the Nation as a whole. The home is a little kingdom where authority is exercised by both husband and wife.

Source: http://members.tripod.com/islamiczone/women.htm

Woman’s Marriage: Necessary?

Question : Respected scholars, as-salamu `alaykum. I am a 26 year old female and my parents are asking me to get married but I want to be single all my life. I am afraid of this commitment because I have seen my parents’ dysfunctional marriage. And is it necessary for a woman to marry? Jazakum Allahu Khayran.

 

Answer : Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

 

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

 

Thanks for your interesting question, which reflects your deep belief in the fact that Islam has answers for every problem facing mankind. Our utmost wish is just for all of us to adhere to the teachings of this great religion which came to save mankind from the peril of succumbing to the material life, to rescue it from darkness and following whims and self inclinations, and bring it into the light of guidance and eternal prosperity.

 

Although marriage is generally considered a highly recommended act, from the Islamic point of view marriage differs according to the state and conditions of each person: It can be highly recommended in some cases, or even obligatory under certain conditions. It can also be prohibited or only permitted under other circumstances.

 

In his response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada , states the following:

While you are advised to be respectful to your parents and be extremely gentle and compassionate in dealing and interacting with them, and to try your best to understand their feelings and appreciate their anxieties, the final decision about your marriage is left to you and not to them.

 

Your parents have every right to advise you and offer you the best insights they can give you, and you must thank them for this; nevertheless, when it comes to the issue of your marriage, it is you and you alone who ought to decide whether you wish to get married, when and where, and with whom. Your parents can only make suggestions. It may be in your best interest to benefit from such insights that they can offer, however, the final decision is solely yours and not theirs. For you are the one who is going to live with your marriage partner.

 

Having said this, however, I must point out that the negative views you have about marriage are due to your past experiences. To generalize based on this experience is, at best, wrong. Islam teaches us not to get carried away by impulsive, whimsical inclinations in our judgments. We must take into account all aspects of an issue before coming to a sound judgment.

 

The fact that your experience of marriage has been negative does not in any way prove that all marriages are the same. Success or failure of a marriage is dependent, in large measure, on the kind of attitudes of life one brings to it. As Muslims, we believe that the recipe for good life is contained in accepting the sovereignty of Allah and acting upon the guidance He has sent down: Allah says, [Verily this Qur’an guides (humanity) to a state of being that is most upright (and fulfilling) … ] (Al-Israa’ 17: 9).

 

Finally, in regards to your question about the precise status of marriage in Islam, the answer is that it varies according to the person and their circumstance. In other words, marriage is obligatory on those who are unable to control their desires and are afraid of falling into sin; it is recommended for all those who have desire for union and yet do not fear falling into sin; it is undesirable for those who have no desire and are afraid of fulfilling their spousal obligations; and it is clearly forbidden for those who have no desire whatsoever and are incapable of doing justice, and may end up harming or injuring their partners. An example is someone who has a sexually transmitted disease which they may end up passing to others if they get married.

 

To conclude: If you belong to the category of those who have no desire for union, and you feel you cannot fulfill the spousal obligations, then there is nothing wrong for you to remain a celibate. That decision is solely yours, and your parents have no right to force you to get married. May Allah help us see truth as truth and follow it, and may He help us to see error as error and shun it—ameen.

 

Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: http://www.islam.ca

 

 

 

 

What is the Islamic ruling on marriage? And when it is deemed obligatory?

Question and Answer Details

Name of Questioner

Mustapha   – United States

 

Title

The Islamic Ruling on Marriage

 

Question

What is the Islamic ruling on marriage? And when it is deemed obligatory?

 

Date

20/Nov/2002

 

Name of Mufti

IOL Shari`ah Researchers

Topic

Marriage

Answer


In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, we commend your keenness on getting your self well-acquainted with Islam and its teachings, which is the way Allah has chosen for the welfare of His servants.

Islam – being a natural way of life – takes into account all of genuine human instincts such as physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, et cetera. Islam generally encourages marriage as the pure and legitimate way for regulating and fulfilling these instincts and desires. It is against both curbing man’s desires through celibacy or giving them free rein through licentiousness and sexual permissiveness.

As regards the question you posed, we’d like to state that the ruling on marriage differs according to the state and conditions of each person. It can be obligatory or recommendable under certain conditions. It can also be prohibited or only permitted under other circumstances. The different rulings on marriage are explained in the fatwa issued by the late prominent Muslim scholar and author of Fiqh As-Sunnah, Sheikh Sayyed Sabiq. He states the following:

Obligatory Marriage:

Marriage is obligatory for whoever is able to afford it, has desire for sexual intercourse, and is afraid to indulge in fornication. Here, it is obligatory because protecting oneself against fornication and preserving one’s chastity is obligatory, and this cannot be achieved except through marriage. Al-Qurtubi says: “Celibacy is not recommended for whoever is able to bear the expenses of marriage, and is likely to commit illicit affairs that violate both his honor and his religion, for one sometimes may not be able to overcome temptation except by marriage. In this case marriage is, according to a scholarly consensus, obligatory. But one who has desire for sexual intercourse, but does not have enough money for the expenditures of marital life may find solace in the words of Allah, Exalted be He, Who says: “Let those who find not the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah gives them means out of His Grace.” (An-Nur: 33)

Man is recommended to suppress his sexual appetite by fasting; a group of Hadith transmitters narrated on the authority of Ibn Mas`ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “O youth! Whoever amongst you is able to marry, let him marry, because it helps him keep his eyes away from lustful looks and preserve his chastity. And whoever is not able to marry, let him observe fasting, as it is a shield for him (i.e. protection from lapsing in fornication).”

Commendable Marriage:

One who has desire for sexual intercourse, who is able to bear the expenses of marriage, and, at the same time, is able to suppress his sexual desire, protect himself against committing illicit affairs is recommended to marry. In this case, marriage in this case is better than devoting oneself to worship, because monasticism is not a characteristic of Islam. At-Tabarani narrated on the authority of Sa`d ibn Abi Waqqas that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Allah has revealed tolerant monotheism (Islam), to replace the Christians’ monasticism.” Al-Bayhaqi also narrated on the authority of Abu Umamah that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Marry one another, for I will be boast of your great numbers in front of other nations (on the Day of Judgement), but don not lapse in the Christians’ monasticism.” `Umar once said to Abu Az-Zawa’id: “Nothing can make man refrain from marriage except inability or indulging in fornication.” Ibn `Abbas also said: “The faith of a devoted believer will never be perfected unless he marries.”

Prohibited Marriage:

Marriage is prohibited for anyone who cannot observe his wife’s rights, because of being undesirous for sexual intercourse due to a physical defect, or because of inability to afford marriage. Al-Qurtubi states: When man is unable to marry due to lack of money to cover the expenses of marriage, to pay the bride’s dowry, or any of her financial rights, he must not marry unless he lets the bride know of his inability, or unless he becomes able to afford marriage. And so is the case if he has some physical weakness that makes him unable to have sexual intercourse (i.e. if he is impotent); he must let his bride know of it, in order not to deceive her. Moreover, he must not pretend that he hails from a noble family, that he is a wealthy man, or that he holds a prestigious post.

The same applies to women. A woman who is unable to observe her husband’s rights, or who has some defect which prevents her husband from making love to her, such as insanity, leprosy, elephantiasis, genital or vaginal disease, must never deceive him; rather, she must let him know what is wrong with her. This is like the example of a sale contract; the seller must inform the buyer of any defect in the commodity he is purchasing.

That is to say, when one of the spouses finds some defect in his/or her mate, he/or she may annul the marriage. Thus, when the husband finds any defect in his wife, he may annul the marriage, and take back the dowry he paid her. It was narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married a woman from Bayadah folk. Then he found that she was leprous in her flank, so he sent her back to her parents, and said to them. “You have deceived me.”

Imam Malik is reported to have stated two different opinions concerning the wife of the impotent, who discovers this after consummating marriage then seeks separation on account of this defect. Imam Malik once said that in such a case the wife can seek for marriage annulment and take her full dowry; his another view is that she takes half of her dowry. By and Large, Malik’s different points of view depend on his different opinions as to whether the bride’s dowry is due immediately after she allows her husband to have sex with her, or after he consummating marriage.

Permissible Marriage:

Marriage is permissible for any person who has nothing to warrant his marriage or prohibit it.”

You can also read:

Is Marriage Obligatory?

The Philosophy of Marriage in Islam

 

 

 
 

Allah Almighty knows best.

The Philosophy of Marriage in Islam

Question and Answer Details

Name of Questioner

Abu Muhammad   – United States

 

Title

The Philosophy of Marriage in Islam

 

Question

I have noticed that there is a trend inviting young people to refrain from marriage via numerous methods, including intimidating them as regards the responsibilities they are to shoulder as well as casting doubt over the institution of marriage itself. Is there a way to refute these allegations?

 

Date

10/Jul/2007

 

Name of Mufti

Yusuf Al-Qaradawi

Topic

Marriage

Answer

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we would like to thank you for your very interesting question and the great confidence you place in us. We implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.
Marriage in Islam is intended to cater to multiple purposes which include, above all, spiritual tranquility and peace, and cooperation and partnership in fulfilling the divine mandate. Islam – being a natural way of life – takes into account all of genuine human instincts such as physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, et cetera.

Although fulfilling one’s physical needs in a decent manner is one of the main purposes of marriage, it is not the sole one. According to the clear statement of the Qur’an, tranquility and peace through a successful union is considered the primary objective of marriage: (Among His signs is that He created for you spouses of your own kind in order that you may repose to them in tranquility and He instilled in your hearts love and affection for one another; verily, in these are signs for those who reflect (on the nature of the reality).)

(Ar-Rum 30: 21).
In another place, Allah refers to the relationship between males and females in terms of partnership for achieving goodness and fulfilling the divine mandate for their lives. (The believers, males and females, are partners of one another; they shall jointly enjoin all that is good and counsel against all that is evil.)

(At-Tawbah 9: 71)
Responding to the question in point, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, states:

 

Just as Islam aims at rearing a righteous individual, being the cornerstone in the social structure of the nation, it also seeks to establish a sound family, the prime and essential factor in building a good society. It is never disputed that marriage – that unites a man and a woman in solemn matrimony – is the foundation that gives rise to the family. There is no way a real or proper family could ever exist out of wedlock, the way that has been legislated by Allah, Exalted be He.
Perverted ideas opposing the institution of marriage:

Throughout the ages, humanity has come to learn of ideas and trends that oppose the idea of marriage. In Persia (now Iran), before the advent of Islam, there emerged Mani’s philosophy, which claimed that the world abounds in evil, that it should be exterminated and that prohibiting marriage is the fastest way to effect this goal.

Under the banner of Christianity appeared extreme monasticism that denounces life, calls to getting incarcerated in monasteries and prohibiting marriage, because woman, they held, is a cause of temptation and a devil incarnate. Venturing near her is in itself a sin that corrupts a soul and alienates one from Heaven.

In modern times, there exist in the West pessimists who totally condemned woman, describing her as a serpent, with a soft touch but deadly venom. They further claim that marriage offers her the golden opportunity to place man under her thumb and shackle him with responsibilities. So why should man, out of his own free will, choose to place those chains around his neck though he was born free?

Unfortunately, some of our contemporary Muslim youth have been fallen prey to those perverted ideas, and thereupon decided to refrain from marriage that entails endless responsibilities, obligations and restrictions. They, on the other hand, wish to live their entire lives as children shouldering no responsibilities. If overcome by desire or the call of their instincts, vicious adultery will certainly quench their thirst in lieu of lawful marriage.

The objectives of marriage in Islam:

a) According to the divine laws and norms, nothing can ever perform its duty single-handedly. Allah meant everything to be in need of another of its kind, so that one would complement the other. In the field of electricity, positive and negative poles need to be in contact so as to induce an electric current, which in turn, yields light, heat, motion, etc. Likewise, electrons and protons should be in contact inside an atom. In plants, pollen grain carrying male gametes fertilize a flower’s stigma to produce more plants, fruits and seeds. Male and female animals have to be in contact in order to reproduce. The Glorious Qur’an highlights this universal law in the following two verses: (And all things We have created by pairs, that haply ye may reflect.) (Adh-Dhariyat 51: 49) (Glory be to Him Who created all the sexual pairs, of that which the earth groweth, and of themselves, and of that which they know not.)

(Ya-Sin 36: 36) In response to this law, Allah, Exalted be He, has legislated a sublime tradition for a man and a woman to be united in such a way as befits the lofty status of human beings, namely through marriage.
Allah, Exalted be He, has inculcated in a man’s heart a longing for a woman, and in a woman’s heart a longing for a man. Each of them is driven by a far more exigent need than hunger or thirst. Each of them senses a definite emptiness in his or her life that can only be filled with their union, according to the divine laws, namely via marriage. Only then does stability replace confusion and reassurance does replace anxiety. Each of them finds in the other serenity, love and mercy that light their lives and enrich their souls. The following is one of Allah’s glaring signs in our universe, which the Glorious Qur’an points to: (Among His signs is that He created for you spouses of your own kind in order that you may repose to them in tranquility and He instilled in your hearts love and affection for one another; verily, in these are signs for those who reflect (on the nature of the reality).)

(Ar-Rum 30: 21)
b) Reproduction is the natural outcome of marriage. It serves to prolong man’s existence, thanks to the pious progeny that succeeds him. This is thus one of Allah’s bounties which He grants man saying, (And Allah hath given you wives of your own kind, and hath given you, from your wives, sons and grandsons, and hath made provision of good things for you. Is it then in vanity that they believe and in the grace of Allah that they disbelieve?)

(An-Nahl 16: 72)
It is also for this reason that Prophet Zakariyyah (Zachariah, peace be upon him) supplicated to Allah saying: (And Zachariah, when he cried unto his Lord: My Lord! Leave me not childless, though Thou art the best of inheritors,) (Al-Anbiya’ 21: 89) and (Lo! I fear my kinsfolk after me, since my wife is barren. Oh, give me from Thy presence a successor. Who shall inherit of me and inherit (also) of the house of Jacob. And make him, my Lord, acceptable (unto Thee).) (Maryam 19: 5-6) Similarly, Ibrahim (Abraham), the father of the Prophets (peace be upon him), prayed to Allah saying: (My Lord! Vouchsafe me of the righteous. So We gave him tidings of a gentle son.) (As-Saffat 37: 100-101) and (Praise be to Allah Who hath given me, in my old age, Ishmael and Isaac! Lo! My Lord is indeed the Nearer of Prayer.) (Ibrahim 14: 29) The Glorious Qur’an describes the servants of Allah, the Most Gracious, as such: (And who say: Our Lord! Vouchsafe us comfort of our wives and of our offspring.)

(Al-Furqan 25: 74)
It is due to reproduction that the nation grows and multiplies, makes use of its potential and manages to combat its enemies. Few would suspect the fact that multitudes and masses of people are to be reckoned with when considering world power. Allah narrates what Prophet Shu`ayb (peace be upon him) told his people saying, (And remember, when ye were but few, how He did multiply you.)

(Al-A`raf 7: 86) Further, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) says, “Get married (and reproduce) for I will boast of your large numbers in front of other nations (on Judgment Day) and do not lapse into Christians’ monasticism.” (Reported by al-Bayhaqi on the authority of Abu Umamah, and it is mentioned in al-Jami` as-Sahih)
Reproduction serves to preserve the entire human species all around the globe until the point when life comes to an end. Allah, Exalted be He, says, (O mankind! Be careful of your duty to your Lord Who created you from a single soul and from it created its mate and from them twain hath spread abroad a multitude of men and women.) (An-Nisa’ 4: 1) and (O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female, and have made `you nations and tribes that ye may know one another.)

(Al-Hujurat 49: 13)
c) Marriage consummates one’s faith, spares one looking at other women, enables one to preserve his chastity and offers one a lawful means to satisfy his sexual desire. Adultery is, therefore, no longer an option. That is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) spoke of marriage saying, “It spares one looking at what one should not, or lapsing in adultery.” He (peace and blessings be upon him) also said, “If Allah grants a Muslim a righteous wife, this helps him preserve half of his religion (faith). He should, therefore, fear Allah as regards the other half.” (Reported by At-Tabarani and Al-Hakim, and Al-Mundhri states in At-Targhib that it is an authentic hadith with a good chain of narrators)

d) Not only does marriage help a Muslim preserve his faith, it is also the indispensable pillar of worldly happiness which Islam encourages its followers to enjoy so that nothing would distract them from the ultimate goal of uplifting their souls and attaining high degrees of spirituality. Imam Muslim reports that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The whole world is pleasure, and the best pleasure of the world is the righteous woman.”

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is also reported to have said: “Four things bring one joy: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a pious neighbor and a comfortable riding animal.” (Reported by Al-Hakim, Abu-Nu`aym and Al-Bayhaqi)
e) Marriage is the sole means of establishing a family, the nucleus of society. No respectable human society could ever exist, if not based on the family. Shaded by the close relations of motherhood, fatherhood as well as parent-child and siblings relations, warm feelings of love, altruism, mercy, care and cooperation are instilled in a Muslim.

f) Social relations are bolstered with the aid of marriage, whereby scope of family expands including his in-laws and his children’s aunts and uncles. That way feelings of amity, love and social closeness extend to include more and more people. Allah meant relations by marriage to be just as strong as kinship relations. Allah, Exalted be He, says, (And He it is Who hath created man from water, and hath appointed for him kindred by blood and kindred by marriage; for thy Lord is ever Powerful.)

(Al-Furqan: 54)
g) Marriage matures a man’s character through the responsibilities he has to shoulder, as a husband and a father, and similarly matures a woman’s character through the responsibilities she has to shoulder, as a wife and a mother. As we have just explained, many men refrain from marriage simply because they wish to live as grown-up children with no ties to bind them, no house to unite them or responsibilities they are to undertake. Such people are not fit to live; they are good for nothing. Marriage is thus a strong commitment and a shared responsibility between a man and a woman since their first day together.

Allah, Exalted be He, says, (And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them. Allah is Mighty, Wise.) (Al-Baqarah 2: 228) (Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath men the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded.)

(An-Nisa’ 4: 34)
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for those in his charge; the man, in his home, is a guardian and responsible for his household; the woman, concerning her husband’s property, is a guardian and responsible for what she is entrusted with.” (Agreed upon hadith) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also said, “Man would be committing a huge sin if he were to ruin whomever he supports.” (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Al-Hakim and Al-Bayhaqi on the authority of Ibn `Umar) The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) further noted, “Allah shall ask every guardian about what he has been entrusted with, whether he preserved or ruined it.” (Reported by An-Nasa’i and Ibn Hibban on the authority of Anas) He (peace and blessings be upon him) also said, “One’s spouse is entitled to certain rights.” (Agreed upon Hadith, reported on the authority of Ibn `Umar)

h) Having got married, a man can focus on perfecting his work, reassured that there is someone back home who disposes of his affairs, preserves his money and takes care of his children. He can thus do his job properly. This stands in sharp contrast to another whose mind is preoccupied and who is torn apart between his work and home, his job and the burden of securing his food and clothes back home.

 

 

 

Related Questions

The Islamic Ruling on Marriage

Is Marriage Obligatory?

 
  

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

Is Polygamy the Norm of Marriage in Islam?

Question:   Respected scholars, as-salamu `alaykum. Is polygamy the basic ruling and norm of marriage in Islam? Many Muslims are keen to have more than one wife believing that this is the basis and the norm. Is this Islamically correct?

Jazakum Allahu khayran.

 

 

Answer:   Wa `alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

 

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.


All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


Brother, we really appreciate your forwarding this question to us, and we commend your keenness on getting yourself well-acquainted with the teachings of Islam. May Allah help us all keep firm on the right path, amen!


As far as Islamic Shari`ah is concerned, there is nothing in the sources of Shari`ah to the effect that the norm or the basic ruling of marriage in Islam is polygamy or taking only one wife. The ruling of marriage in either forms depends on the circumstances surrounding that marriage. Polygamy may be obligatory for a certain person and may be haram (Arabic for: prohibited) for another.


In his response to your question, eminent Muslim scholar and renowned da`iyah Sheikh `Abdel-Khaliq Hasan Ash-Shareef states, It is not Islamically correct to say that the basic ruling or norm of marriage in Islam is polygamy or sticking to having one wife. There is nothing in the sources of Shari`ah to the effect that any of the two is the norm or the basic ruling and the other is not that. Had the basic ruling been polygamy, Almighty Allah would have created women more than the double of men in all ages and places in order for each man to be able to marry two or more women. That is because Almighty Allah did not order His creation to do the impossible. Almighty Allah always commands people to do what is possible.


So, what some Muslims may believe with regard to this issue is wrong. Furthermore, Muslim scholars are of the opinion that marriage whether in the form of polygamy or having one wife is subject to all the five Shari`ah rulings: wajib (obligatory), mandub (commendable), mubah (permissible), makruh (reprehensible), or muharram (prohibited). The ruling differs based on the circumstances surrounding the case in question.

 

Allah Almighty knows best.

 

Source: www.islamonline.net