Bicara poligami…(15)

Ada seorang ustaz, da’ie, harakiyy, pernah berkata utk memahami syariat poligami di dalam Islam biasanya orang yg berumur 40 tahun ke atas. Saya menambah… umur 37 thn, 38 thn pun boleh memahaminya juga.

Saya bimbang sebenarnya bila mendengar perkataan tidak rela, tidak suka, benci, menyampah, meluat, ttg syariat poligami ini.

Misalan yg ingin saya utarakan di sini spt berikut:

Saya tidak rela ayah saya mengamalkan poligami, sebab saya tidak suka syariat poligami. Kenapa tidak suka syariat poligami sebab ayah saya tidak layak utk berpoligami. Sebab apa ayah saya tidak layak berpoligami sebab dia masih kurang penglibatannya dalam dakwah. Jadi dia masih tidak layak utk berpoligami sehinggalah ayah saya menjadi seorang da’ie yang komited, yang taat beribadah macam ‘alim ulama’. Apa syarat poligami sebagaimana yang Allah Taala nyatakan di dalam Al-Quran? Allah Taala berfirman sekiranya kamu boleh berlaku adil kamu boleh mengahwini wanita-wanita dua, tiga, atau empat. Sekiranya kamu takut tidak boleh berlaku adil kahwini seorang sahaja.

Kenapa kamu tidak rela? Sebab kamu benci kepada syariat poligami. Sebab kamu selalu tonton di dalam TV, filem banyak keburukan ttg poligami. Sebab apa kamu kata syariat poligami buruk sebab kamu tak jumpa contoh yang baik. Mungkin sebab kamu tak baca sirah Islam, bagaimana terdapat banyak contoh2 para sahabat Baginda, tabi’in dan banyak lagi yang menunjukkan contoh yg baik. Kamu tak yakin apa yg Allah Taala turunkan iaitu syariat poligami? Kamu tak baca Al-Quran surah Al-Nisaa’ ayat 3? Atau kamu skip (langkah) saja ayat itu dan baca ayat2 yg lain saja? Bolehkah kamu tinggalkan satu ayat di dalam Al-Quran sebab kamu tidak suka syariat itu? Jawapannya sudah tentu tak boleh sebab kita WAJIB beriman kepada Al-Quran keseluruhannya.

Nasihat saya: Belajarlah daripada guru/ustaz yg ikhlas dan berpengalaman…ilmu bukan semata-mata melalui buku tetapi banyaknya datang dari pengalaman hidup.

Marilah kita sama-sama bertaubat sebelum kita dipanggil pulang oleh Allah Taala dalam keadaan kita membenci syariatnya. Astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah…

Kisah Teladan – 2

Ada seorang kawan saya yang berasal daripada Indonesia menceritakan sebuah kisah benar yang berlaku di Mesir. Kawan saya mendapat cerita ini daripada kawannya yang belajar di Mesir. Ceritanya begini:
Ada seorang ustazah orang arab Mesir yang menolak peraturan poligami dan yang lebih dahsyat lagi dia menyebut ketidakpuasan hatinya tentang poligami di dalam ceramah-ceramahnya. Waktu itu umurnya lebih kurang 27 tahun. Keadaan ini berlarutan selama lebih kurang 7 tahun dan ustazah ini masih lagi belum dilamar orang. Memandangkan umurnya sudah mencecah 34 tahun tapi masih belum berkahwin maka timbullah di hatinya keinsafan tentang apa yang telah dilakukannya yang akhirnya dia menerima peraturan poligami sebagaimana yang disyari’atkan oleh Islam.
Pada satu hari datang seorang kaya yang ingin melamarnya untuk menjadikannya isteri kedua dan maka pergilah orang kaya itu dengan niat untuk melamar ustazah tersebut berjumpa  dengan kakaknya. Oleh kerana kakaknya tidak mengetahui yang adiknya sudah berubah iaitu sudah menerima hukum poligami maka dia mengatakan kepada orang kaya itu supaya membatalkan sahaja niatnya untuk berkahwin dengan adiknya kerana adiknya adalah seorang yang menolak peraturan poligami. Orang kaya itu tidak jadi memperisterikan ustazah itu. Kakaknya memberitahu kepada adiknya tentang peristiwa itu. Ustazah itu terkejut lantas memberitahu kakaknya yang dia telah insaf dan tidak lagi menolak peraturan poligami seperti mana yang dilakukannya dahulu. Ustazah itu mengatakan kepada kakaknya yang sekiranya dia menjadi isteri kedua dia ikhlas membenarkan suaminya berkahwin untuk isteri yang ketiga. Wallahu a’lam.

Did Allah create man in a way that he cannot be loyal to his only wife?

Name: unknown    – India

  

Question:

Assalamu `alaikum,  
 
In Islam it is said that men and women are given equal status and rights. But I do feel that women have not received equal status and rights as that of men. Islam permits polygamy for men. At times of need polygamy permitted. Can it be accepted by women. But sometimes a man has no need to remarry and still he remarries another woman in spite of the unwillingness of his wife, for he is attracted towards the other woman’s beauty. Is this permitted in Islam as the wife might be hurt a lots. I also have seen many women hurt for their husbands remarrying when there is no need. Islam teaches men to be kind, polite towards their wives and also not to hurt them. But does Islam permit men to hurt their wives when it is the case of polygamy. Did Allah create man in a way that he cannot be loyal to his only wife? Please, please answer my question.  
 
Thank you.  
May Allah bless you.

 

Answer:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  
 
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.  
 
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
 
 
The relationship between a husband and wife is based on ma`roof or kindness, compassion and mercy. Both husband and wife are supposed to work at pleasing each other and dealing kindly towards each other.  
 
When it comes to the rights of both men and women in Islam, we should believe that Allah SWT is the JUST and the WISE. So He only gives people what is good for them and only demands what is for our interest and common good. The problem is that we sometimes look very selfishly and try to have all the good for ourselves without looking at the society in large.  
 
As for polygamy, it is allowed in Islam. It is to be used for the purposes for which it is permitted and not to be abused at any case. It is true that Allah permits the man to marry four wives, but if we think neutral and try to investigate the benefit of that without thinking of our own interests only, we will find the wisdom and significance of polygamy.  
 

For example, if a wife puts herself in place of a widow who does not have anyone to care or look after her, and think sincerely of a solution to her problem, she will find that she would love to be a second wife than to stay as widow and continue to suffer the problems in raising children and getting the same life as her peers do. So, there is always wisdom behind polygamy.  
 
As for hurting the feelings of the first wife, I am personally of the view that a husband should discuss this issue with his wife and they should both reach a reasonable agreement. If the wife finds herself unable to accept her husband taking another wife, she has every right to demand divorce and get her rights fully and separate in kindness. But if she thinks reasonably and not emotionally and weigh the pros and cons or being divorced and second wife, she could reach a better conclusion to save her family life and husband.  
 
This does not mean the husband is allowed to abuse polygamy. It is only allowed for whoever is able to treat all wives equally and fairly. If he cannot be just and fair it is forbidden to take another wife.  
 
Allah Almighty knows best.

 

Source:  http://www.islamonline.net/

 

 

 

Question pertaining to polygamy in Muslim Country

Ask the Scholar

Name: Abu Muhammad   – Malaysia
Title Educating Ourselves About Shari`ah

Question:

Assalamu’alaykum,
Dear Scholar,

I have read a lot of articles, Q&A, opinions from Islamonline.net about polygamy in Islam. No doubt polygamy is allowed in Islam as mentioned by Allah Ta’ala in Surah Al-Nisaa’ verse 3. The law of polygamy been practiced by our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him), his companions and Muslims all over the world until now. In my opinion, enemies of Islam are working very hard nowadays, days and nights to eliminate this shari’ ah of Islam so that they can spread prostitution, adultery, fornication, homosexual, lesbian, and whatever you name it in Islamic countries. What I am worried too much is that this shari’ ah of Islam (polygamy) is treated as if not very important in Islam by some Muslims and many Muslims behaved as if not agreed with the shari’ ah or try not to implement it in Muslim society.
We believe that as a Muslim it is obligatory for us to accept all verses in the Qur’an whether we like it or not. My question is how to educate or sort of to make Muslims realize the importance of implementation of all Islamic shari’ ahs in ourselves, our families, and our societies? After all, not necessarily all Muslims will marry more that one woman because it is a matter of choice. Wallahu’alam.

Date: 27/Mar/2006
MuftiIOL Shari`ah Researchers

 
Answer:
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
 
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
 
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
 
Dear questioner, thank you very much for having confidence in us, and we hope our efforts, which are purely for Allah’s Sake, meet your expectations.
Reading your question thoroughly, we share many of your views mentioned in the question regarding the Shari`ah and its real presence and application in our lives. In this regard, we would like that you make use of the following tips:

  1. It is the role of Muslim scholars in all parts of the world to educate Muslims about the wide scope of Islamic Shari`ah and to make them really realize that the Shari`ah has solutions to all our problems.
  2. Muslim individuals should exert utmost efforts to seek proper knowledge about Islam and the Shari`ah and they should be good ambassadors of their religion.
  3. It is the role of Muslim institutions especially in majority Muslim countries such as Malaysia to face such vicious campaigns against Islam by increasing their awareness campaigns about such social ills such as adultery, fornication, homosexuality and lesbianism, etc.
  4. Implementing the Shari`ah is not restricted to one aspect regarding legal punishments but it goes far to encompass all the aspects of life. This is in addition to the fact that any person with a sound intellect agrees that the Shari`ah aims at removing hardship from people and giving them solutions to their problems regardless of their places and locations.
  5.  It is our responsibility, as Muslims, to know the rules of Allah and put them into practice with sincerity. But before anything, we should ask ourselves if we are really practicing justice. Are we really fair to others, to our spouses, to our relatives, to our neighbors, employees, employers, to Muslims, to other human beings, to animals, to anything and everything? Are we really compassionate people? Are we really increasing in compassion or are we becoming angry, hateful, arrogant, or complacent about ourselves? We must improve ourselves in justice and compassion. If we do not have `adl (justice) and ihsan (compassion) or rahmah (mercy), then we are not practicing the Shari`ah. Similarly, if we think that we are following the law of Allah but the result is injustice and lack of compassion, then it means that we have not properly understood the law of Allah or we are not interpreting it right.

Finally, we think that it will be very much beneficial for you to preview the contents of the Shari`ah & Humanity Special page. In addition, we think that forwarding your future queries or even contribution to this page will be very much appreciated.

Allah Almighty knows best.

Fatwa Editor:
El-Sayed Amin

Source: http://www.islamonline.net/

Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims – 2

POLYANDRY

 

Question:

If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a woman from having more than one husband?

Answer:

A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women.

Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.

Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with who you can not marry and it is further mentions in Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verse 24 “Also (prohibited are) women already married”

The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:


1.   If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present.


2.   Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.


3.   Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.


4.   A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.


The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry.

 

This question and answer is extracted from Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims by Dr. Zakir Naik

 

Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims

POLYGAMY

 

Question:

Why is a man allowed to have more than one wife in Islam? i.e. why is polygamy allowed in Islam?

Answer:

Definition of Polygamy

1.  

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.

 

 


2.  The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says,”marry only one”.

The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.

In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (95% C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.


3.  Hindus are more polygynous than Muslims

The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.

Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.


4.   Qur’an permits limited polygyny

As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:

“Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one.”

                                  [Al-Qur’an 4:3]

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.

In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:

“Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women….”

                                 [Al-Qur’an 4:129]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:

         i.            Fard i.e. compulsory or obligatory

       ii.            Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged

      iii.            Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed

      iv.            Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged

        v.            Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.


5.  Average life span of females is more than that of males

By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.

During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.


6.   India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide

India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males.


7.   World female population is more than male population

In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males.


8.   Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical

Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.

Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.

In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.

Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second.

There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.

 

This question and answer is extracted from Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims by Dr. Zakir Naik