Did Allah create man in a way that he cannot be loyal to his only wife?

Name: unknown    – India

  

Question:

Assalamu `alaikum,  
 
In Islam it is said that men and women are given equal status and rights. But I do feel that women have not received equal status and rights as that of men. Islam permits polygamy for men. At times of need polygamy permitted. Can it be accepted by women. But sometimes a man has no need to remarry and still he remarries another woman in spite of the unwillingness of his wife, for he is attracted towards the other woman’s beauty. Is this permitted in Islam as the wife might be hurt a lots. I also have seen many women hurt for their husbands remarrying when there is no need. Islam teaches men to be kind, polite towards their wives and also not to hurt them. But does Islam permit men to hurt their wives when it is the case of polygamy. Did Allah create man in a way that he cannot be loyal to his only wife? Please, please answer my question.  
 
Thank you.  
May Allah bless you.

 

Answer:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  
 
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.  
 
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
 
 
The relationship between a husband and wife is based on ma`roof or kindness, compassion and mercy. Both husband and wife are supposed to work at pleasing each other and dealing kindly towards each other.  
 
When it comes to the rights of both men and women in Islam, we should believe that Allah SWT is the JUST and the WISE. So He only gives people what is good for them and only demands what is for our interest and common good. The problem is that we sometimes look very selfishly and try to have all the good for ourselves without looking at the society in large.  
 
As for polygamy, it is allowed in Islam. It is to be used for the purposes for which it is permitted and not to be abused at any case. It is true that Allah permits the man to marry four wives, but if we think neutral and try to investigate the benefit of that without thinking of our own interests only, we will find the wisdom and significance of polygamy.  
 

For example, if a wife puts herself in place of a widow who does not have anyone to care or look after her, and think sincerely of a solution to her problem, she will find that she would love to be a second wife than to stay as widow and continue to suffer the problems in raising children and getting the same life as her peers do. So, there is always wisdom behind polygamy.  
 
As for hurting the feelings of the first wife, I am personally of the view that a husband should discuss this issue with his wife and they should both reach a reasonable agreement. If the wife finds herself unable to accept her husband taking another wife, she has every right to demand divorce and get her rights fully and separate in kindness. But if she thinks reasonably and not emotionally and weigh the pros and cons or being divorced and second wife, she could reach a better conclusion to save her family life and husband.  
 
This does not mean the husband is allowed to abuse polygamy. It is only allowed for whoever is able to treat all wives equally and fairly. If he cannot be just and fair it is forbidden to take another wife.  
 
Allah Almighty knows best.

 

Source:  http://www.islamonline.net/

 

 

 

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Question pertaining to polygamy in Muslim Country

Ask the Scholar

Name: Abu Muhammad   – Malaysia
Title Educating Ourselves About Shari`ah

Question:

Assalamu’alaykum,
Dear Scholar,

I have read a lot of articles, Q&A, opinions from Islamonline.net about polygamy in Islam. No doubt polygamy is allowed in Islam as mentioned by Allah Ta’ala in Surah Al-Nisaa’ verse 3. The law of polygamy been practiced by our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him), his companions and Muslims all over the world until now. In my opinion, enemies of Islam are working very hard nowadays, days and nights to eliminate this shari’ ah of Islam so that they can spread prostitution, adultery, fornication, homosexual, lesbian, and whatever you name it in Islamic countries. What I am worried too much is that this shari’ ah of Islam (polygamy) is treated as if not very important in Islam by some Muslims and many Muslims behaved as if not agreed with the shari’ ah or try not to implement it in Muslim society.
We believe that as a Muslim it is obligatory for us to accept all verses in the Qur’an whether we like it or not. My question is how to educate or sort of to make Muslims realize the importance of implementation of all Islamic shari’ ahs in ourselves, our families, and our societies? After all, not necessarily all Muslims will marry more that one woman because it is a matter of choice. Wallahu’alam.

Date: 27/Mar/2006
MuftiIOL Shari`ah Researchers

 
Answer:
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
 
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
 
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
 
Dear questioner, thank you very much for having confidence in us, and we hope our efforts, which are purely for Allah’s Sake, meet your expectations.
Reading your question thoroughly, we share many of your views mentioned in the question regarding the Shari`ah and its real presence and application in our lives. In this regard, we would like that you make use of the following tips:

  1. It is the role of Muslim scholars in all parts of the world to educate Muslims about the wide scope of Islamic Shari`ah and to make them really realize that the Shari`ah has solutions to all our problems.
  2. Muslim individuals should exert utmost efforts to seek proper knowledge about Islam and the Shari`ah and they should be good ambassadors of their religion.
  3. It is the role of Muslim institutions especially in majority Muslim countries such as Malaysia to face such vicious campaigns against Islam by increasing their awareness campaigns about such social ills such as adultery, fornication, homosexuality and lesbianism, etc.
  4. Implementing the Shari`ah is not restricted to one aspect regarding legal punishments but it goes far to encompass all the aspects of life. This is in addition to the fact that any person with a sound intellect agrees that the Shari`ah aims at removing hardship from people and giving them solutions to their problems regardless of their places and locations.
  5.  It is our responsibility, as Muslims, to know the rules of Allah and put them into practice with sincerity. But before anything, we should ask ourselves if we are really practicing justice. Are we really fair to others, to our spouses, to our relatives, to our neighbors, employees, employers, to Muslims, to other human beings, to animals, to anything and everything? Are we really compassionate people? Are we really increasing in compassion or are we becoming angry, hateful, arrogant, or complacent about ourselves? We must improve ourselves in justice and compassion. If we do not have `adl (justice) and ihsan (compassion) or rahmah (mercy), then we are not practicing the Shari`ah. Similarly, if we think that we are following the law of Allah but the result is injustice and lack of compassion, then it means that we have not properly understood the law of Allah or we are not interpreting it right.

Finally, we think that it will be very much beneficial for you to preview the contents of the Shari`ah & Humanity Special page. In addition, we think that forwarding your future queries or even contribution to this page will be very much appreciated.

Allah Almighty knows best.

Fatwa Editor:
El-Sayed Amin

Source: http://www.islamonline.net/

Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims – 2

POLYANDRY

 

Question:

If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a woman from having more than one husband?

Answer:

A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women.

Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different, physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different. Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.

Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with who you can not marry and it is further mentions in Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verse 24 “Also (prohibited are) women already married”

The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in Islam:


1.   If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband, only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood. If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names! I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the present.


2.   Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.


3.   Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different phases of the menstrual cycle.


4.   A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or sexually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital sex.


The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry.

 

This question and answer is extracted from Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims by Dr. Zakir Naik

 

Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims

POLYGAMY

 

Question:

Why is a man allowed to have more than one wife in Islam? i.e. why is polygamy allowed in Islam?

Answer:

Definition of Polygamy

1.  

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.

 

 


2.  The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says,”marry only one”.

The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.

In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.

Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (95% C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.


3.  Hindus are more polygynous than Muslims

The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.

Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.


4.   Qur’an permits limited polygyny

As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:

“Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one.”

                                  [Al-Qur’an 4:3]

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.

In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:

“Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women….”

                                 [Al-Qur’an 4:129]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:

         i.            Fard i.e. compulsory or obligatory

       ii.            Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged

      iii.            Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed

      iv.            Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged

        v.            Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.


5.  Average life span of females is more than that of males

By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.

During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.


6.   India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide

India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males.


7.   World female population is more than male population

In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males.


8.   Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical

Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.

Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.

In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.

Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second.

There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.

 

This question and answer is extracted from Most Common Questions asked by Non-Muslims by Dr. Zakir Naik

 

 

Why Not More Than Four Wives?

Name of Questioner

Mahmoud   – Egypt

 

Title

Why Not More Than Four?

 

Date

15/Apr/2008

 

Question

Dear Sir, I have been asked by a foreigner why the figure 4 was identified as the maximum number of wives a Muslim can hold? As the question came from a non-Muslim, I have considered to convince him form a non-Muslim stand. However, I promised him to come with a better answer from an imam.

 

 

I have given the following justifications:

 

1- We, as religious people, will not accept a mockery question. So, it either be a serious one to know and take further consideration, or if you just want to waste time we are not interested to proceed;

 

2- For any religion we have to believe in what God says without asking for the reason behind it;

 

3- We believe first why God has given that license for man and when and how it should be used. Then, I have some examples of an ill wife or a wife who can’t bring children or other examples including the case of war where 30 million men were killed;

 

4- I ask him if he knew the number of men and women live and how come the balance is made.. At last, I want to send him even better answer Thanks in advance for your support and please excuse my language. Regards.

 

 

 

 

 

Topic

Marriage

 

Name of Counselor

Fadel Soliman

Answer

Salam, Mahmoud.

 

 

Thank you for your question.

 

Actually this is one of the main accusations used to attack Islam with and a very frequently asked question.

 

Polygamy, in its two forms preceded Islam; those two forms are polygyny or marrying several wives and polyandry or marrying several husbands. Islam came restricting it to polygyny alone, as well as limiting the number of wives to a maximum of four wives under the condition of being extremely just in treating them equally.

 

What is funny is that those attacks on Islam are not coming from monogamous societies, but rather polygamous ones too.

 

Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship. (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 – Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy)

 

Most experts do consider the ‘educated guess’ that at the present time some 50 to 65 percent of husbands and 45 to 55 percent of wives become extramaritally involved by the age of 40, to be a relatively sound and reasonable one. Peggy Vaughan, The Monogamy Myth, first published in 1989 by Newmarket Press, third edition published 2003.

 

Therefore western societies are not necessarily monogamous ones.

 

What is the difference between Islamic polygyny and western polygamy?

 

1. In Islam, a woman can not have more than one husband because it is the right of every child to know his/her biological father; while in some countries, there is a huge percentage of children who do not know their fathers.

 

2. In Islam, the second woman will be a legitimate wife and her children will be officially legitimate children who will inherit and carry the names of their fathers, while in western polygamy the second woman is a mistress who ends up as a single mother and her children neither inherit nor carry the names of their fathers.

 

3. In Islam, a man marries more than one wife under the condition of being extremely fair and treating them equally; while in the west it is just to enjoy himself out of wedlock not caring for any consequences that may occur to the woman.

 

4. In Islam, cheating on one’s wife is strictly forbidden, while according to the law in most — if not all — western countries cheating on one’s wife is legal.

 

In some Muslim countries, like Egypt, informing the first wife is a must, after that she can choose whether to accept to stay as a wife or get a divorce. In all cases no one will be forced to live a life against his/her wish, neither the man will be deprived of his right to marry the woman that he wants, nor will a woman be forced to live with a man that she dislikes.

 

And the Shariah in all cases gave the woman the right to Khul` (divorcing the man through a judge) even without the need for giving a strong reason. For example, the woman who asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) to divorce her from her husband, when he asked her for her reasons, she said; “I dislike him.”

 

The argument on this legislation is about the right of the man to marry in secret and not let his first wife learn about his marriage to another.

 

Men were created polygamous because of a need in human society. There is normally a surplus of women in most human societies:

 

1. The surplus is a result of men dying in wars, violent crimes and women outliving men;

 

2. The upsurge in homosexuality further increases the problem.

 

If systems do not cater to the need of surplus women, it will result in corruption in society. For example, after World War II, when suggestions to legalize polygamy were rejected by the Church, Germany legalized prostitution.

 

German prostitutes are considered as workers like any other profession. They receive health benefits and pay taxes like any other citizen.

 

Furthermore, the rate of marriage has been steadily declining as each succeeding generation finds the institution of marriage more and more irrelevant.

 

Divine legislation looks at the society as a whole seeking to maximize benefit. Dr. Abu Aminah Bilal Philips says, if a certain legislation benefits the majority of the society and causes some emotional harm to a minority, the general welfare of the society is given precedence.

 

I totally agree with Dr. Philips. But, I would actually like to add that legislating polygyny is not in fact hurting most women. It is actually hurting those who are married among women and are not ready to share their husbands with other women who are unmarried and are ready to share in those men who are financially able to marry. Because it is the right of every woman to have a man and fulfill her social and sexual needs.

 

I always mention this personal experience on this matter. As one of my aunts who lived a 35-year love story with her husband and was never able to have children, decided to make the dream come true. So she married him to another woman, rented for them an apartment in the same building.

 

And when the new wife got her first child, who happened to be a baby girl, she named her Hanan, after my aunt’s name. Today, the man goes to work everyday and both women take breakfast together with three children playing around them.

 

The question is: if there are people who accept such solutions for their problems, why would any other people prevent it?

 

Finally, polygyny means more women getting married and more men having extra social and financial responsibilities. This is why it is rarely practiced. In Egypt, less than 2% of the marriages are plural marriages; while the percentage increases in higher economies up to 10%. The question remains, in whose favor is it?

 

Dear brother, I like your approach in attempting to answer. It just needs fine tuning.

 

First, when it comes to explaining to a non-Muslim that we should follow some instructions even though we might not comprehend the wisdom behind them, we need first to explain to him what the meaning of the word Islam is, being submissive to the will of God, who created the man and the woman and therefore knows what is best for both of them.

 

So, sometimes we can understand the wisdom behind some of God’s instructions and sometimes we do not, but we always have to follow it in order to live a happy life. The number 4 in case of polygamy is a perfect example.

 

Second, only talk about Islam, you should not speak on behalf of other religions, and say (in all religions people should follow ….) because this can cause you embarrassment, if he tells you: this is inaccurate, the XYZ religion does not ordain blind following on its followers etc.

 

I hope this answers your question. Please keep in touch.

 

Salam.

 

 

 

Multiple Wives in Paradise: What Is for Women?

Name of Questioner

Muslimah   – United Kingdom

 

Title

Multiple Wives in Paradise: What Is for Women?

 

Question

As-salamu `alaykum. Some traditional Muslims believe that Muslim men will be rewarded with 70 houris specially created for them and two believing women from this life. This is very demeaning and offensive to all women.A question comes to my mind at this point. Why would God cause jealousy between husband and wife on this earth when He promises to give the same cause of jealousy (multiple wives) in Heaven to one gender (man) as a reward? Who put love, mercy, and affection between the spouses? It is sad to find that in traditional Muslim literature the concept of Heaven is a place specially created for men; there is no equality between men and women.For men, Heaven is simply an extension of the earth where they established control and dominance over women through legitimizing unsanctioned polygamy and unlimited sex with females. One man’s Heaven is a woman’s Hell. This is supported by scholars, as a majority of them state that Paradise is a place of fulfillment of desires, and men—being prone to polygamy—will receive this as a reward.

My question is, how is it possible that Allah Almighty will grant the fulfillment of the desires of the male but not of the female—that is, to not share her husband with multiple women?

What about women who are patient in this life, hoping that their desire of not sharing their husbands will come true? I have read that scholars state that Allah will remove the “jealousy” from the heart of the women so they shouldn’t worry about it. Please explain how does this justify anything?

Instead of her desire/wish being fulfilled, she will be brainwashed, but on the other hand men won’t have to give up anything. Why won’t Allah remove the lust to have multiple wives from their hearts in order to please the female servants, while He will remove jealousy from the hearts of females in order to please male servants?

How come jealousy is a “female” product? When men are jealous, their jealousy is labeled as “ghayrah” (attack on morality). Bur when women are “jealous”, they are labeled as jealous beings? How I see it, being neutral, jealousy is a human product and not just a female thing. Allah created one mate, at least that’s what is mentioned in the Qur’an, for Adam (peace be upon him).

Therefore it is the fitrah of every male and female to feel “jealousy” when it is about sharing one’s spouse. Men are more possessive and would react in a similar way, even worse when it is about sharing their spouse. The reason is because we are both human beings. I totally agree with the “acceptance” of polygamy in this life, because it is a “solution” advised in the situations to avoid the haram. But it is discouraged by putting conditions on it. But paradise is every Muslim’s (men and women) goal. It doesn’t sound/feel right to the fitrah that it will be more rewarding towards men and again will require females to sacrifice and share. No matter how you put it, it is sharing the reward when one’s husband will have at least two other wives.

Does Allah love men more than women? A male martyr will receive 70 wives, but if a female servant of Allah dies for Jihad fisabillillah, she will still be required to share her husband with other wives. This concept is very discouraging and offensive towards Muslim sisters.

I personally feel like crying because it seems that no matter how hard I work to please Allah, even go as far as giving up my life for Allah Almighty, my reward will not be equivalent to that of a male servant.

 

 

Date

23/Aug/2005

 

Name of Counsellor

Sano Koutoub Moustapha

Topic

Muslim Creed, Muslim Belief, The Unseen

Answer

Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Sister, first of all, we’d like to say that we are impressed by your question, which emanates from a thoughtful heart. May Allah Almighty help us all adhere to the principles of this true religion, Islam, and enable us to be among the dwellers of Paradise in the Hereafter.

Paradise is the abode of the believers in the Hereafter. Allah has prepared for His believing servants, males and females, in Paradise indescribable bliss which no eye has seen, no ear has heard of, and that has never ever crossed the minds of people, to the extent that even the person who has the least blessings in Paradise will think that he is the most blessed one.

In more than one Qur’anic verse, Allah Most High, calls upon His servants to do their utmost in order to be favored with Paradise. For example, He says, (And vie one with another for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for those who ward off (evil).) (Aal `Imran 3: 133)

As regards your question, we’d like to inform you that in Paradise believing men and women will be showered with blessings; there is no room for discrimination based on sex in Paradise. The life of women in jannah will be as pleasant and happy as the life of men. Allah is not partial to any sex. He created both of them and He will take care of both of them according to their needs and desires. Let us all work to achieve the jannah and then, in sha’ Allah, we will find there what will satisfy all of us fully.

In his response to your question, Dr. Sano Koutoub Moustapha, professor of Fiqh and its Principles, International Islamic University, Malaysia, states the following:

Thank you so much for your very interesting comments and understanding of the issue of polygamy and the blessings given to men in Heaven.

I congratulate you for your logical ability and critical way of looking at things. However, I shall also confirm to you the issue of polygamy, be it in this life or the hereafter, it should not be classified as a privilege but rather a solution as you correctly mentioned in your arguments.

In other words, Islam does not open the door of polygamy for all men as it does not open it to women at all. As you may know well that each ruling or law has an exception and the exception is not the principle, therefore, we can not judge a law through its exceptions.

In this regard, I shall remind you that rewarding a mujahid with many wives doesn’t mean betraying the female mujahid.

It simply means there is a such reward for those mujahids who are looking for it. In other words, there is no compulsion upon all mujahids to accept or reject this reward. It is exactly the same thing as the polygamy in this life.

It is meant for those who want it, not for every single mujahid. Yet every Muslim man and woman who is allowed to enter Heaven is given the opportunity to get whatever he or she wants as clearly stated in the Qur’an and many Hadiths of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). This means that those women who don’t want their husbands to have more could be granted this wish and desire. At the same time if the husbands of those women want to have more than them Allah is great and can satisfy each of them in the way He, the Almighty, wants.

Therefore, a woman should not be frustrated for a privilege of polygamy offered to men. This is not, for sure, at the expense of woman. Heaven is meant for both men and women, both of them are equally entitled to get what they wish for.

Certainly, there would be no clashes in their wishes, if any, the Almighty knows how to please each of them. Having said that, I shall inform you that the existing setup of humans in terms of desire, would be changed on the Day of Judgment.

In other words, both men and women would not be allowed to enter Heaven in their existing physical makeup. They will be in a better and greater form as stated by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Both of them would enjoy living together and having whatever they wish and like.

Finally, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) describes Heaven as a place where there are many things which no eyes have ever seen, no ears have ever heard before and no heart has ever felt. Let us pray the Almighty to grant us this great and wonderful place. Let us work harder and harder to be in this place. It is only through our full submission to the will and the orders of Allah that we will one day be granted this place.

 

 

The Reward of Women in Paradise

Name of Questioner

Muslimah

 

Title

The Reward of Women in Paradise

 

Question

Respected scholars, As-Salamu `alaykum. Whenever I read the Holy Qur’an, it always makes me wonder what would be the life of a female in Paradise or Jannah. The Qur’an talks about life after death and gives information that how a MAN’s life is going to be in the other life. They will live in gardens where there are rivers and trees full of fruits. But I never read a passage that describes the lives of women in Jannah. If so, please let me know where in the Qur’an I can find information in this regard. How will women be rewarded in Paradise?

 

Date

09/Dec/2004

 

Name of Mufti

IOL Shari`ah Researchers

 

Topic

The Unseen

Answer

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Sister, first of all, we’d like to say that we are impressed by your question, which emanates from a thoughtful heart. May Allah Almighty help us all adhere to the principles of this true religion, Islam, and enable us to be among the dwellers of Paradise in the Hereafter, Ameen!

As regards your question, it should be clear that Paradise is the abode of happiness; all its dwellers, males or females, will be showered with Allah’s blessings and favors. There is no discrimination in this regard between men and women. It is righteousness and good deeds that elevates one’s rank in Jannah and exalts his/her position. In more than one Qur’anic verse, Allah, Most High, calls upon His servants to do their utmost in order to be favored with Paradise. For example, He says, (And vie one with another for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for those who ward off (evil). ) (Aal `Imran 3: 133)

In this context, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:

 

Jannah or Paradise is not for men alone. It is prepared for both, righteous men and righteous women. All the joys and blessings of Jannah are for both of them. Allah has mentioned in the Qur’an that He put both Adam and his wife Hawwa’ (Eve) in Jannah after creating them, and He told them to eat and enjoy everything (except the fruit of one tree). [See al-Baqarah 2: 35; al-A`raf 7: 19] Thus, all the trees, gardens and rivers of Jannah are made for both men and women and they both will enjoy them.

All Believers, males and females, will enter the Jannah. Allah says, ( Gardens of perpetual bliss: they shall enter there, as well as the righteous among their fathers, their spouses, and their offspring) (ar-Ra`d 13: 23)

Further, Allah says, (Indeed, the people of Paradise will be happily occupied. They and their wives shall be in shades, reclining on raised couches. There are for them fruits and there is for them all that they ask for…) (Ya-Sin 36: 55-57)

In the Hereafter Allah will say to the Believers, (Enter the Garden, you and your wives, you will be made glad. There will be brought round for them trays of gold and goblets, and therein is all that the souls desire and eyes find sweet and you will stay there forever. This is the garden, which you are made to inherit because of what you used to do. Therein for you is fruit in plenty whence to eat. ) (Az-Zukhruf 43: 70-73)

There are many other places in the Qur’an where it is mentioned that men and women both will find their reward and none will be deprived. [See: Aal `Imran 3: 195; An-Nisa’, 4: 124; An-Nahl 16: 97; Al-Ahzab 33: 35; Ghafir 40: 40]

The life of women in Jannah will be as pleasant and happy as the life of men. Allah is not partial to any gender. He created both of them and He will take care of both of them according to their needs and desires. Let us all work to achieve the Jannah and then, in sha’ Allah, we will find there what will satisfy all of us fully.

This verse clearly denotes that those women who do righteous deeds are rewarded with Paradise and given a high rank that is equal to the good deeds they have offered.

Shedding more light on this issue, we’d like to cite the following fatwa issued by the outstanding Muslim scholar, Sheikh ibn Jibreen:

There is no doubt that reward in the Hereafter encompasses both men and women. This is based on the following Qur’anic verses:

( Lo! I suffer not the work of any worker, male or female, to be lost) (Al `Imran 3: 195)

(Whosoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer, We will give a good life. ) (An-Nahl 16: 97)

(And whoever does righteous good deeds, being a male or a female, and is a true believer, such will enter Paradise. ) (An-Nisa 4: 124)

(Verily, the Muslims, men and women, the believers, men and women… Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward. ) (Al-Ahzab 33: 35)

Allah mentions them entering into Paradise together, saying:

(They and their wives will be in pleasant shade. ) (Ya Sin 36: 56)

(Enter Paradise, you and your wives, in happiness. ) (Az-Zukhruf 43: 70)

Allah also mentions that He will recreate women in Paradise in the following verse:

( Lo! We have created them a (new) creation. And made them virgins… ) (Al-Waqi`ah 56: 35-36) That is, Allah will recreate the elderly women and make them virgins; the same will be done for old men, Allah will make them youth.

It is also mentioned in the Hadith that the women of this worldly life have a superiority over Al-hur Al-`In due to the acts of worship and obedience that they performed in this world. Therefore, the believing women will enter Paradise just like the believing men. If a woman had a number of husbands, she, upon entering Paradise with them, would choose among them the one with the best character and behavior.

Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: http://www.uh.edu/campus/msa/articles/fatawawom/aqida.html#paradise

Thus, rest assured dear sister that Allah never wrongs anyone, male or female, nor does He, Almighty, deprive any person of his/her work’s fruit.

 

Polygamy: Why Is It Permitted in Islam?

Question:

As-Salamu `alaykum, I’m a Muslim that lives in the US and all the time people ask me questions about Islam and I always answer them based on logic and thinking. But there is only one question that I don’t know how to answer it; it’s about the fact that men are allowed to marry up to four wives at a time. What is the reason behind that and how can we answer this question in women’s right perspective of view? If women and men are equal in Islam, then why can’t women marry four husbands? I face this question all the time and I don’t know how to answer it. I prefer the answer in English so I can make people read it and so they can understand more. Jazakum Allahu Khayran!

Answer:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we commend your keenness on getting your self well-acquainted with Islam and its teachings, and also appreciate your keenness to teach others about the true nature of Islam, which is the way Allah has chosen for the welfare of His servants.

Islam is a way of life consonant with nature, providing human solutions to complex situations and avoiding extremes. This characteristic of Islam can be observed most clearly in its stand concerning the taking of more than one wife. Islam permits the Muslim to marry more than one woman in order to resolve some very pressing human problems, individual as well as social.

In his answer to the question in point, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti, member of the North American Fiqh Council, states:

First, understanding Islam is based on wahy (revelation) rather than reason. The principle of reason is used to further understand the wahy but not to judge or rule.

Second, the majority of Prophets were married to many wives, whereas they are considered the models for humanity for every sort of activity or style of life.

Third, in reality, you can hardly find one Muslim out of tens-of-thousands who is married to more than one wife. But, he cannot have affairs or dating with any woman. In non-Muslim societies, more than 65% of married men have affairs with more than 2, 3 or 4 women. There are more than 45% of women who have affairs the same way outside of marriage. All these practices are correct for the people of reason. They admit any zina (fornication/adultery) but they don’t admit any alternative for keeping people in cleanliness and pure solutions.

Fourth, if you want a woman to marry more than one man, this is not the only misconception we hear from people who allege they are people of reason and intellect. But I don’t need to make any comment other than saying this question is answered by what Allah, the Creator, has made of laws. He knows the best what is convenient and what is inconvenient for man or woman.”

For further elaboration on why Islam does not allow a woman to marry more than husband at one time, you are advised to read: Between Polygyny and Polyandry

Shedding more light on why Islam allows polygamy, the European Council for Fatwa and Research issued the following Fatwa:

“Prior to Islam, men used to marry as many women as they wished without any limits nor conditions. When Islam was revealed, it prescribed a limit to the number of women one may marry and also placed conditions for this to take place.

As for the limit, Islam prescribed that the maximum number of women a man can marry is four, as stated in the Qur’an: “Marry women of your choice, two or three or four…” (An-Nisa’: 3)

As for the condition, it is the confidence of the man that he can actually be totally just and fair between his wives, otherwise he is not allowed to re-marry. The Qur’an stated: “…but if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one…” (An-Nisa’: 3) In addition, the other conditions of any marriage must also be present, such as the ability to provide for the family and the ability to satisfy the sexual needs of the woman.

The reason for the allowance for a man to marry more than one woman is because Islam is a realistic religion and one which is not based upon idealistic notions which would cause real problems of everyday life without solution or treatment. It is very probable that a man marrying a second wife could be solving a problem, in that his first wife is incapable of bearing children or has extended menstruation cycles which result in his sexual needs being unsatisfied. The first wife could be ill and thus, instead of divorcing her and leaving her alone, could marry a second wife and remain next to his first wife, and so on. This allowance also solves the problem of a widow who needs a husband to care for her but does not wish for an unmarried young man, similar to a divorced woman with children. Indeed this allowance may solve a social problem which arises from the high proportion of good women who want to marry in comparison to able men. This is a common problem which increases particularly in the aftermath of wars and the like. The fact, in this case, is that the extra women do one of three following options:

1) That they remain unmarried for the rest of their lives, and are thus deprived from being a wife and a mother, which is a great injustice.
2) That they fulfill their sexual needs regardless of decrees of religion and acceptable behavior, which will result in a tragic loss in this life and the hereafter.
3) That they agree to marry an already married man who is capable of meeting their living and sexual needs and who is confident in his ability to deal fairly and justly between his wives.

As for those who say that this allowance is often abused by some men, it is an unfortunate fact that many rights are abused or are used in inappropriate manners. This does not mean that we must cancel these rights. Indeed, there are many men who abuse their first and only wives, so does this lead us to cancel marriage in its entirety?

Freedoms are often abused. Should we cancel freedoms? We see that states and governments abuse elections; would it be right to cancel these processes? In fact we find that authority and government is frequently abused, so would it be acceptable to cancel authority and let society decline into a state of chaos? It would be better, instead of calling for the cancellation of these rights, to set up boundaries and regulations which would limit the possibility of such rights being abused.”

Does Inability to Treat Wives Equally Prohibit Polygamy?

Question:

Dear scholars, As-salamu `alaykum. What is the meaning of Allah’s words: “Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so)” (An-Nisa’: 129)? Does it imply that polygamy is prohibited as some claim? Jazakum Allah khayran.

Answer:

Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His sake.

A man’s obligation to treat his wives equally is concerned with supplying them with equal provision and equal division of time (with regard to abode). However, equal division of love is beyond human capacity; hence, one will not be accounted for it before Almighty Allah. Unfortunately, there are many countries that allow men to practice adultery but prohibit polygamy.

The eminent Muslim scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi states:

“Citing the above mentioned verse as evidence of prohibiting polygamy is rejected, as it means changing words from their context. Moreover, it implies accusing the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) of not understanding the Qur’an or of purposely not following it, for almost all of them married more than one wife.

The verse in fact indicates that absolute justice between wives is beyond human capacity, for it involves exact equality in everything, even in the distribution of affection, love, and sexual satisfaction, which is beyond man’s power. A man may not help being attracted to one of his wives more than to the others; hearts are within the Hand of Almighty Allah Who changes them however He wills. [A man’s feelings are not subject to his will.]

Besides, if those who claim that the above mentioned verse prohibits polygamy contemplate the rest of the verse, they will realize that it includes a refutation of this very claim. Allah Almighty says in the same verse: “But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful” (An-Nisa’: 129). In these Divine words, Almighty Allah directs His servants to the fact that they will not be able to practice absolute justice between their wives with regard to love, but this does not mean that one of them should disincline from the wife (or wives) that he is not attracted to as much as another, in favor of the one whom he is attached to.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) dealt equally with his wives concerning provision and abode and then would beseech Almighty Allah saying: “O Allah! This is my division with respect to what I can provide for (that is, I deal with my wives with fairness and justice as much as I can concerning what is in my capacity). So I beseech You not to account me for what You can control but I cannot (that is, my feelings towards them).”

However, it is quite strange to find that there are some Arab Muslim countries that prohibit polygamy but allow adultery, the sin about which Almighty Allah says: “And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way” (Al-Israa’ 17:32). Such countries do not forbid adultery except in certain cases, such as when a man forces a woman to commit adultery with him, or in cases of marital infidelity in which the spouse who was betrayed does not forgive his/her partner.

The former Grand Sheikh of Al-Azhar, Sheikh `Abdel-Halim Mahmoud (may Allah have mercy on him) told me that a Muslim man from some Arab Muslim country that prohibits polygamy married a second wife in secret. He did not register the marriage contract lest he be punished by the man-made law of his country. The police suspected and followed him until they arrested him in his second wife’s home. Facing him with the accusation that he had a second wife and thus breached the laws of the country, he evaded the accusation saying, “Who told you she is my wife? She is not; she is my mistress, and we make love to one another from time to time.” Upon that, the investigators apologized to him, “We are so sorry for this misunderstanding. We thought that she was your wife. We did not know she is your mistress!” Thus, the man was set free, for his country regards adultery as a right of personal freedom, while it forbids polygamy!”

Justice among Wives

 

Question:

My husband was away on business for five months and after he came back he told me that he’d like to marry a second wife. Hearing him I was upset when I know that his would-be second wife lives in Morocco and I am in UK. How can he divide the days equally if he spends more time in Morocco than here in the UK. How can he give us equal treatment? Please reply as soon as possible.

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, thank you very much for having confidence in us and we implore Allah to guide you to the best and to solve your marital problem soon, Insha’Allah.

First of all, it is to be stated that “Islam provides a system, which regulates family life as well as the life of the community as a whole. In every respect of its legislation and in its regulation of relations between various groups and individuals in society, Islam maintains justice, fair treatment and a balance between rights and responsibilities. In this way it provides a solid basis for a strong, closely knit community.

Because the woman is the weaker partner in the family relationship, Islam places strong emphasis on the importance of being fair to women, and not to abuse them in any way. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) describes those who are kind and good to their wives as the best of people. He (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: “The best among you are those who are best to your households; I am the best among you to my house-hold.”
On his deathbed, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) continued to remind the followers of three areas as needing continuous attention. The first concerns man’s relationship with Allah while the other two are concerned with human relations, concentrating on the need to protect the rights of two vulnerable groups in society, namely, women and slaves. He said repeatedly: “Attend to your prayers. Do not ask those whom your right hands possess to accomplish for you what they cannot do. Fear Allah in your treatment of women.”

The above quotation is excerpted, with modifications, from: http://www.islamicity.com

Focusing on the necessity of being just among wives, we’d cite for you the word of the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheik Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, in his well-known book, The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam. He writes:

“The condition which Islam lays down for permitting a man to have more than one wife is confidence on his part that he will be able to deal equitably with his two or more wives in the matter of food, drink, housing, clothing and expenses, as well as in the division of his time between them. Anyone who lacks the assurance that he will be able to fulfill all these obligations with justice and equality is prohibited by Allah Almighty from marrying more than one woman, for Allah says: “But if you fear that you will not be able to do justice (among them), then (marry) only one…” (An-Nisa’: 3)

And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Anyone who has two wives and does not treat them equally will come on the Day of Resurrection dragging one part of his body which will be hanging down.” (Reported by the compilers of Sunan and by Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim)

The equal treatment mentioned here pertains to the rights of the wives, not to the love the husband feels towed them, for equality in the division of love is beyond human capacity and any imbalance in this regard is forgiven by Allah Almighty who says: “And you will not be able to do justice among (your) wives, however much you may wish to. But do not turn away (from one of them) altogether…” (An-Nisa’: 139)

This is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to divide his time among his wives equally, saying, “O Allah, this is my division in regard to what I can control. Then do not take me to task regarding what Thou controllest and I do not control” (Reported by the compilers of Sunan), referring to the attachment and affection which he felt for one particular wife. And when he planned to go on a journey, Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) would cast lots among his wives, and the one who was chosen by lot would accompany him. (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)”

In conclusion, we would like to advise your husband to fear Allah and to be just in dealing with you and his second wife, in order to be spared of Allah’s Punishment on the Day of Resurrection. He can simply attain such justice if he fears Allah and seeks His Guidance. Still, the issue requires mutual understanding between you and your husband. With your concerted efforts, you will live in harmony, even if he is married to a second wife!

May Allah guide you to the straight path and direct you to that which pleases Him, Amen.