MilkyWay27

Believe, Steadfast, Success

Rintihan Seorang Wanita…

14 Komen

Ya Allah
Seandainya telah Engkau catatkan
Dia tercipta untukku
Satukanlah hatinya dan hatiku
Titipkanlah kebahagiaan di antara kami
Agar kemesraan itu abadi….
Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku Yang Maha Mengasihani
Seiringkanlah kami melayari hidup ini
Ketepian yang sejahtera dan abadi
Maka jodohkanlah kami
Tetapi Ya Allah…
Seandainya telah Engkau takdirkan
Dia bukan milikku
Bawalah dia jauh dari pandanganku
Luputkanlah dia dari ingatanku
Dan peliharakanlah aku dari kekecewaan

       Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku Yang Maha Mengerti
       Berikanlah aku kekuatan
       Menolak bayangannya jauh ke dada langit
       Hilang bersama senja nan merah
       Agar aku sentiasa tenang
       Walaupun tanpa bersama dengannya

      Ya Allah yang tercinta
      Peliharalah aku dengan takdirMu
      Sesungguhnya apa yang telah Engkau takdirkan
      Adalah yang terbaik untukku
      Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui
      Segala yang terbaik untuk hambaMu ini.

      Dan sekiranya aku menemui seseorang
      Yang baru di dalam hidupku
      Kau semaikanlah rasa kasih sayang dan cintaku yang penuh ikhlas
      Kepada dirinya
      Agar diriku dan dirinya memahami antara satu dengan lain
      Dan terbinalah satu ikatan yang lebih suci dan murni

      Ya Allah
      Cukuplah Engkau sahaja yang menjadi pemeliharaanku
      Di dunia dan di akhirat
      Dan peliharalah kami dari azab api neraka
      Amin…amin..Yarabbal alamin…

Author: milkyway27

Aku adalah seorang insan yang hanya mengharapkan keredhaan Allah di dalam mengharungi kehidupan dunia yang sementara ini. Namun aku menyedari bahawa untuk mendapat kasih dan rahmah Allah itu memerlukan pengorbanan yang tinggi yang datang dari hati nurani yang ikhlas yang beribadat semata-mata kerana Allah, Rabbul 'Alamin.

14 thoughts on “Rintihan Seorang Wanita…

  1. poligami adalah penyelesaian masalah untuk masa terdekat, namun hakikatnya wanita lebih banyak merana dari gembira

    bagaimana nak menghindari bermadu?

  2. Asm,
    peristiwa buruk ttg org yg mengamalkan poligami mmg ada tapi yg baik pun ramai…sahabat R SAW ramai yg praktis poligami ini tapi tak ditonjolkan di dlm sirah (sejarah Islam)…

    kalau nak kata keburukan poligami ni, keburukan pun ada berlaku pada perkahwinan pertama (yg beristeri satu) spt mengabaikan tanggungjawab sbg suami, tidak memberi nafkah zahir & batin kpd isteri, dsbnya tapi itu bukan bermakna perkahwinan tu yg tak elok tapi pengamalnya yg tak mengikut sistem (pensyariatan poligami) yg betul.

    sistem (pensyariatan poligami) dah elok tapi segelintir org yg melaksanakannya itu yg bermasalah. sistem poligami dah elok tapi segelintir org yg melaksanakan tu yg tidak mengikut peraturan2 yg telah ditetapkan…

    sbb tu sya mengharapkan lebih ramai lagi yg memahami Islam yg sebenar terutama isu poligami ni tampil ke hadapan menjelaskan kpd masyarakat bhw kita tak boleh tolak poligami ni…poligami ada dlm Islam kita terima apa2 syariat Islam dgn hati yg redha dan seronok/suka. maksud sya kita suka apa yg syarak (Islam) kata baik, kita tak suka apa yg syarak (Islam) kata tak baik.

    lagipun sya percaya kaum wanita/kaum ibu tak perlu risau dgn pensyariatan poligami ni sbb ianya adalah “as a matter of choice”. kalau suami tu tak mahu berpoligami sbb takut tak boleh berlaku adil maka dia kahwin satu je lah. kalau suami tu boleh berlaku adil maka dia kahwin dua atau tiga atau empat lah (limit 4 saje). begitu juga di pihak perempuan yg hendak dikahwini sekiranya perempuan tu tak nak kpd lelaki tersbt maka tak kahwinlah lelaki tu (tak dpt nak tolong). bukannya bila dilaksanakan pensyariatan poligami ni semua jadi kelam-kabut. lelaki mengejar perempuan merata-rata di shopping complex atau tempat awam, perempuan lari lintang-pukang krn menyelamatkan diri… tak tak begitu… proses perkahwinan tu berjalan spt biasa spt proses perkahwinan yg pertama. jadi tidak semua lelaki akan berkahwin lebih dari satu isteri…sekiranya dia rasa tak boleh adil maka dia kena kahwin satu saje…(surah al-nisaa’:3)

    Perkara poligami ini memang nampak ianya spt “in favor of” pihak lelaki sahaja tetapi apa yg perlu kita ingat bahawa Allah Taala yg mencipta manusia; lelaki dan perempuan, mengetahui apa yg baik bagi hamba-hambaNya. Sya tahu sesetengah wanita merasa berat utk menerima hakikat dibenarkan poligami bagi pihak lelaki tetapi itulah yg terbaik di dlm Islam utk memenuhi keperluan pelbagai keperluan manusia dan Islam sebenarnya hendak “protect” lelaki supaya tidak terjerumus ke lembah zina, pelacuran dan seumpamanya. Syariat Islam adalah utk kebaikan seluruh manusia walaupun ianya nampak spt keuntungan di sebelah pihak shaja. Itulah yg dinamakan hikmah.

    Poligami juga dilihat utk menyelesaikan masalah masyarakat spt jumlah wanita yg ramai dan melebihi lelaki. ibu2 tunggal yg memerlukan perhatian dan penjagaan suami utk meneruskan hidup, anak2 dara yg masih ramai belum berkahwin walaupun umur mrk sudah melebihi 30an, 40an…

    bagi yg tidak memperolehi anak disbbkan isteri mandul atau sakit kronik dan sbgnya maka poligami adalah jalan penyelesaiannya dgn tidak mengabaikan tanggungjawab suami terhadap isteri yg pertama (segala hak2 isteri pertama ditunaikan spt nafkah zahir dan batin)..

    yg baik itu datangnya daripada Allah, yg kurang itu datangnya daripada kelemahan saya sendiri.

  3. The Status of Women in Islam – Syeikh Prof. Dr. Yusof Al-Qaradawy

    Maaf kerana tak sempat hendak terjemah artikel di bawah. Berikut adalah petikan dari kata-kata Syeikh Prof. Dr. Yusof Al-Qaradawy di dalam bukunya “The Status Of Women In Islam”.

    1- Islamic Law does not allow something whose evil outweighs its good.

    The claim that polygamy has caused social and familial corruption and detriment is an open fallacy; Islamic Law cannot permit something which will do harm; likewise, it does not forbid something of benefit. This is expressed in the Qur’an in the most eloquent and comprehensive phrases with the description of the Messenger (blessings and peace be upon him), and addressing the people of the Book (i.e., the Jews and Christians). “He commands them for Al-Ma’ruf (i.e. islamic Monotheism and all that Islam has ordained); and forbids them from Al-Munkar (i.e.disbelief polytheism of all kinds, and all that Islam has forbidden); he allows them as lawful At-Tayyibat [(all i.e. good and lawful) as regards things deeds, beliefs, persons, foods etc] , and prohibits them as unlawful Al-Khabaith (all i.e. evil and unlawful as regards things, deeds, beliefs, persons, foods etc.), he releases them from their heavy burdens (of Allah’s Covenant), and from the fetters (bindings) that were upon them. [Surah 7: 157] All that is permitted by Islamic Law has pure benefit or benefits which outweigh harm. All that is forbidden by Islamic Law must have pure harm or the harms must outweigh the benefits. This is clear in what is said in the Qur’an about alcohol and gambling: Say, “In them is great sin, and (some) benefit for men, but the sin of them is greater than their benefit”. [Surah 7:219] This is also what Islamic Law has provided for in polygamy, as it balances interests and corrupting matters, benefits and harms. It permits what the individual needs and is able to do as long as he is sure of his fairness, and is not afraid of being unjust or having a greater inclination towards one of them: “but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one”. [Surah 4:3] It may be in the interest of the first wife to be the sole one on the throne of marriage without any rivals, and she sees that she will be harmed by the presence of another wife; but it is also in the interest of the husband to marry another to protect him from illicit relationships or bring him an awaited-for child, etc.; moreover it may also be in the interest of the second wife to have someone take care of her. To have half a husband, to live under his protection and be in his charge may be better than living as a spinster, widow or divorcee, in deprivation. It is also in the interest of society to protect its men and women by legitimate marriage-in which each of them bears the responsibility for himself or herself and the spouse and for what Allah may give them of children-that is, instead of promiscuity, allowing the multiplicity of mistresses, which is immoral and inhuman, and in which each has the pleasure of a companion without any responsibility for what follows, even if a child is born of that illicit relationship. In turn, the child is then considered a wild plant without a father to belong to, or a family to give him love and compassion or a heredity to cherish. Which harms should be avoided then? On the other hand, Islamic Law has reserved the first wife’s right to equity between herself and the second wife concerning maintenance, housing, clothing and staying at her place. That is the equity put as a condition for polygamy. It is true that some husbands do not observe the justice commanded by Allah, but the misapplication does not mean the basic principle should be cancelled; otherwise the whole of Islamic Law and all other laws would be abolished. Adherence of the law should be enforced.

    2- The right of the person in authority to prevent what is allowed.

    As to the claim that the person in authority has the right to prevent some of what is allowed, we have the following to say: what the Law has given to the person in authority is the right to limit some of what is permitted for a weighty interest at some times, or in some cases, or for certain people. He should not generally or utterly prevent it forever because that would be like forbidding, which is only Allah’s right, denied by the Qur’an to the People of the Book. “They (Jews and Christians) took their rabbis and their monks to be their lords besides Allah by obeying them in things which they made lawful or unlawful according to their own desires without being ordered by Allah”. [Surah 9:31] The Hadith came to interpret the verse, “They allowed for them and forbade them and thus followed them”. [ Transmitted by Al-Termithy on the authority of Adeyy ibn Hatim in the interpretation sections (3095) and by lbn Jarir in his interpretation section (16631). Al-Termithy said this Hadith is ghareeb (i.e., it has only one transmitter), but in the section about Hudhaifa, it is mauqf (i.e., it was narrated by the Companions, not by the Prophet [blessings and peace be upon him]) and transmitted by Al-Tabary (16634).] To limit what is allowed is like preventing the slaughter of animals on certain days to lessen their consumption, as happened at the time of `Umar, may Allah be pleased with him; or like preventing excess cultivation of a certain crop so cultivation space will not encroach upon the space attributed to growing grains and other nutritious crops that are staple foods for the people. It is also similar to preventing the highest ranks of military officers or diplomats from marrying foreigners for fear of leaking state secrets through women to the enemies. It is also like preventing men from marrying a Christian or a Jew out of fear that it would affect Muslim women, especially in the communities that have small Islamic minorities and limited Muslim expatriates. But to come to something allowed by Allah in His Book and mentioned by His Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him), established in the state, such as divorce or polygamy, and to prevent it utterly and forever is considered something different from limiting what is allowed according to the examples given. The meaning of You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives. [Surah 4:129] As to the illustration from the Glorious Qur’an, it is wholly rejected. It is a corruption of the order of words and carries within it an accusation against the Prophet Mohammed (greetings and peace be upon him) and his companions (may Allah be pleased with them), implying they did not understand the Qur’an, or maybe that they did but intentionally deviated from its precept. The verse quoted to illustrate the point also gives an answer if the meaning is perused; Almighty Allah has allowed polygamy on the condition of fairness, then highlights the fairness needed in the same chapter when He says: ” You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married)”. [Surah 4:129] This verse indicates that complete and absolute justice between women is impossible due to the nature of the human being because complete justice requires equity between them in everything, even in the inclination of the heart and in sexual desire, and that cannot be controlled by the man. He may love one more than the other, incline towards one more than another. Hearts are controlled and turned by Allah in the way He likes. Therefore, the Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) used to say after dividing between his women the apparent affairs of maintenance, clothing and spending nights, “Allah, that is my division as it is in my power to do so. So not blame me for what You have and I have not”. [ Transmitted by Abu Dawud (2134), Al-Termithy (1140), Ibn Majah (1971) Al-Doramy Book of Marriage p.154; and Ahmad 61144 on the authority of – isha] He meant the heart’s inclination. It is this inclination in which one cannot be fair that Allah has pardoned, as the Almighty does not rebuke man for something beyond his ability when it is not in his power to do it. Therefore the noble verse says: “You will never be able to do pefect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other suspended (i.e. neither divorced nor married)”. [Surah 4:129] What is understood from this verse is that some inclination, which is the emotional inclination, is forgivable. The amazing thing is that some Arab countries adopt the forbiddance of polygamy, though in their legislation they do not forbid adultery, except in certain cases when one is forced (rape), or in the case of the woman’s marital infidelity if the husband does not drop the charge. Adultery is described by Allah as a great sin: “And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a fahshah (a great sin), and an evil way”. [Surah 17:32] I came to know through the great Imam Sheikh `Abd Al Haleem Mahmud, may Allah have mercy on his soul, that a Muslim living in an African-Arab country which had laws against polygamy secretly married another wife through a legitimate conventional contract, abiding by all its conditions except that it was not authenticated. This is because the country’s established law refused to authenticate or admit it and considered such a marriage a crime for which he would have to be punished. The man used to frequent the house of his (second) wife, so the police watched him and came to assume that she was his wife and that he had committed an offence against the law. One night they waited for him, arrested him at his wife’s place and took him to court accusing him of marrying a second wife. The man was clever and asked those interrogating him, “But who told you she is my wife? She is not a wife. She is a mistress whom I took as a companion and I call on from time to time ” The interrogators were taken aback and told the man very politely, “We are awfully sorry for the misunderstanding. We thought she was a wife and did not know she was a companion.” Thereupon, they released him because, to them, to have the illicit company of a woman as a mistress to commit adultery with is considered within the framework of personal freedom protected by the law.

    Komen peribadi saya:

    1. Sekiranya kita meneliti dengan penuh mendalam akan kata-kata di atas maka kita akan mengatakan bahawa pensyariatan poligami bukannya sesuatu yang boleh dipermudah-mudahkan oleh sesiapapun.

    2. Pensyariatan poligami adalah sesuatu yang kekal pada setiap masa dan tempat.

    3. Islam membawa penyelesaian kepada permasalahan di dalam masyarakat spt. menjaga kepentingan andartu-andartu, ibu-ibu tunggal dan anak-anak mereka.

    4. Emosi dan perasaan kita tidaklah boleh mengatasi kecintaan kita kepada syariat-syariat yang telah ditetapkan di dalam Islam.

    5. Kita menerima dengan perasaan redha akan ketetapan syariat-syariat Islam bukannya mencari alasan-alasan untuk tidak mengamalkannya.

    6. Persepsi masyarakat yang tidak berpandukan kepada asas-asas Islam yang sebenar tidaklah boleh mempengaruhi pemikiran kita kerana mereka tidak melihat dari sudut kepentingan ummat Islam keseluruhannya dan kefahaman Islam yang sebenar.

    7. Janganlah kita bersekongkol dengan orientalis & misionari di dalam memerangi Islam terutama isu-isu poligami dan talak yang mana mereka menyerang ummat Islam yang goyah kefahaman mereka terhadap kedua-dua isu tersebut bagi melonggarkan kepercayaan ummat Islam. Wallahu’alam.

  4. assalamualaikum,
    Allah Maha Mengetahui sedangkan kita tidak,poligami,jg bukan perkara yg gampang untuk dapat kita telan hny dengan sebuah rasa yg pahit/manis,namun semua itu un sbgn takdirNYA,dan DIAlah Yang mempunyai rencana,DIA yg Tahu mana Ygterbaik,semoga Allah menuntunku,dan kita semuanya,benar,jk kita bs lebih mendalami islam,kita akan th sisi baik dan malah lebih baik,insya Allah.amiin…,krn jk kita menghitung nikmat Allah,subhannallah,tak bs terhitung oleh kita,semoaga saya dan anda semua bs memanfaatkan kesempatan dan sisa hidup ini dgn lbh baik,dan semoga kita semua sllu istiqamah,amiin,
    wassalamualaikum

  5. Bismillah,
    Salam kenal untuk admin. Saya pernah mendengar dan membaca koment yang isinya seperti tulisan admin. Kesimpulannya, jika kita ingin objektif pada konsep, bukan pada pelanggaran pelaku poligami maka sebenarnya semua fihak akan mengakui supremasi dan kebesaran Allah atas selainnya, including poligami. Hanya saja, konsep poligami memang perlu di fahami secara global agar setiap fihak punya gambaran yang lengkap dan detail tentang aamanah dan hukuman bagi orang yang menyia-nyiakan syariah aagung ini. Wallahu A’lam

  6. Wa’alaykumussalam,
    Setuju. Konsepnya sudah jelas sebagaimana yang telah diterangkan di dalam artikel Syeikh Prof. Dr. Yusof Al-Qaradawy tetapi oleh kerana serangan bertubi-tubi daripada orientalis, misionari dan yang seumpamanya maka ummat Islam menjadi keliru dan mempercayai kata-kata dusta mereka. Mereka sememangnya tidak beriman dengan ayat-ayat Al-Quran dan hadis-hadis Rasulullah SAW. Oleh itu kita sebagai ummat Islam perlu waspada dan berhati-hati dengan serangan-serangan memburukkan pensyariatan poligami oleh puak ini dan tohmahan-tohmahan yang dilontarkan oleh mereka.

  7. salam…

    saya ingin tahu mengapa wanita takut untuk berpoligami dan bermadu? boleh terangakan bagaimana untuk meyakinkan isteri pertama untk suami berniat berkahwin lagi?

    • Wsm. Ada seorang ustaz memberitahu saya yang isteri pertama tidak mahu bermadu sebab dia merasa terhina bila dimadu. Cara untuk meyakinkan isteri pertama untuk suami yang berhajat untuk berpoligami ialah pada pendapat saya pertamanya dengan memberi tarbiyah yang sepatutnya akan pentingnya diamalkan pensyariatan poligami ini. Cuba lihat apa yang berlaku di Gaza. Bukankah kita memerlukan ramai lelaki-lelaki Muslim yang berjuang untuk jalan Allah kerana pemuda-pemuda mereka dibunuh oleh tentera-tentera yahudi? Keduanya ialah dengan sokongan dan contoh yang baik yang telah dipraktikkan oleh isteri pertama iaitu dengan memberi penerangan bahawa hidup berpoligami ini adalah sesuatu yang normal sebab itu ia ada dalam agama Islam. Kerana kita tahu setiap yang dibolehkan oleh Islam itu terkandung banyak kebaikan2nya. Ketiganya ialah dengan memperbanyakkan mendalami ilmu tentang sosio-masyarakat berlandaskan Islam kerana pensyariatan poligami adalah salah satu penyelesaian kepada permasalahan yang berkaitan dengan sosio-masyarakat. Islam ada penyelesaiannya. wallahu’alam.

  8. Assalammualaikum. sya masih memerlukan bimbingan bagaimana utk berdamai dgn isteri pertama. Sya sayangkan dia spt mana suami sygkan dia. tolong bantu..

    • Wa’alaykumussalam. Banyakkan berdoa kpd Allah. Apa yg saudari buat itu mengikut syariah Islam yg betul. Poligami dibolehkan di dlm Islam. Jgn hirau ckp org lain yg nak merosakkan rumahtangga sdri. Mcm drama/filem dlm tv juga selalu citer buruk ttg poligami. So, jgn layan kalau dpt kata2 negatif drpd masyarakat. Saya pernah tengok isteri pertama dan kedua berbaik2 mcm biasa menjalani kehidupan seharian. Sabar adalah segala-galanya. Hidup kita di dunia sekejap je, apa yg penting hidup kita sentiasa di dlm keredhaanNya. wallahu’alam.

  9. sewaktu terbaca puisi/doa ini, m’ingatkan sya kpd doa yg slalu sya baca dahulu sebelum suami & sya akhirnya bernikah. Pd mulanya, jln yg kami lalui amat sukar. Slalunya, sya pasrah dah byk b’doa mohon petunjuk Nya.Setip masa sya ingatkan diri ttg indahnya poligami dan bayangan syurga.

    • Bila terbaca saja kisah saudari hati saya tidak dapat menahan rasa terharu tentang perjalanan hidup yang telah saudari lalui..sememangnya jika semua wanita Islam didunia dapat berfikiran seperti saudari alangkah bertuah nya kaum hawa ini kerana Allah telah menjanjikan “payung emas” untuk mereka-mereka yang berfikiran seperti saudari…InsyaALLAH…

  10. 11 tahun saya hidup bersama laki-laki yang berpologami, tapi tidak pernah ada keadilan dalam pembagian malam, bepergian dll, baik saya di posisi kedua atau pertama. So, bagaimana ni/

    • Salam,

      Berbincang dengan suami supaya berlaku adil terhadap giliran malam dan sebagainya. Ingatkan suami akan tanggungjawabnya berlaku adil kepada semua isteri-isterinya kerana itu adalah tuntutan Islam. Pujuk suami untuk mendekati kuliah2 di masjid2 dan surau2 supaya dia lebih menghayati Islam. Tanggungjawab seseorang suami yg berpoligami adalah berat di mana semua isteri-isteri adalah tanggungan yg akan dipersoalkan di akhirat nanti samada dari sudut nafkah zahir dan batin. Cuma dari segi kasih sayang itu adalah di luar keupayaan suami tapi suami tidak boleh meninggalkan yg kurang disayangi begitu saja sebab isteri itu adalah tanggungannya. Cuba bawa suami dekat dengan majlis2 ilmu dan program2 yg berbentuk Islamik. Wallahu’alam.

Tinggalkan Jawapan

Masukkan butiran anda dibawah atau klik ikon untuk log masuk akaun:

WordPress.com Logo

Anda sedang menulis komen melalui akaun WordPress.com anda. Log Out / Tukar )

Twitter picture

Anda sedang menulis komen melalui akaun Twitter anda. Log Out / Tukar )

Facebook photo

Anda sedang menulis komen melalui akaun Facebook anda. Log Out / Tukar )

Google+ photo

Anda sedang menulis komen melalui akaun Google+ anda. Log Out / Tukar )

Connecting to %s