Jodoh bermadu di usia muda

Komen Penulis:

Tidak disangka ada perempuan Islam di Malaysia sanggup berbuat begini di zaman ini. Di zaman wanita-wanita tak kira Islam atau bukan Islam sedang memperjuangkan habis-habisan supaya pensyariatan poligami diperketatkan supaya lebih susah hendak dipraktikkan di dalam masyarakat. Kononnya untuk menjaga hak asasi wanita Islam. Siapakah yang membenarkan pensyariatan poligami ini di dalam Islam? Islam mensyariatkan sesuatu perkara hanyalah untuk kepentingan manusia sejagat. Allah itu Maha Adil dan Maha Bijaksana di dalam menetapkan sesuatu syariat.

Masalah ketidakfahaman pensyariatan poligami ini bukan sahaja oleh orang-orang lelaki maupun wanita yang jahil tentang agama tetapi terdapat juga di kalangan yang bergelar cerdik pandai. Mereka, cerdik pandai, cuba mencari kelemahan-kelemahan, kesalahan-kesalahan dan kepincangan-kepincangan poligami ini untuk membuktikan kepada masyarakat bahawa mereka adalah cerdik pandai yang bukan sahaja bijak di dalam menafsirkan sesuatu syariat dalam Islam bahkan berjaya mencipta formula baru bagi menggantikan syariat poligami ini. Sedarkah mereka yang kesalahan siapakah yang hendak dicari, kepincangan sistem siapakah yang hendak dikaji. Astaghfirullah.

Penulis berpendapat puak-puak orientalis dan misionari sekarang ini bertepuk tangan dan berpeluk tubuh kerana kerja-kerja mereka untuk menghapuskan syariat poligami semakin hari semakin dekat dengan kejayaan. Mereka cuma bergelak ketawa dan menari keriangan meraikan kejayaan mereka menyakinkan segelintir ummat Islam untuk menjauhkan syariat poligami. Astaghfirullah.

Dengan kejayaan orientalis dan misionari ini menyakinkan ummat Islam menolak poligami, maka suburlah penzinaan, pelacuran, homoseksual, lesbian di kalangan orang-orang yang jahil di kalangan ummat Islam. Nafsu syahwat disalurkan kepada jalan yang haram kerana yang halal telah disusahkan pelaksanaannya.

Penulis menyarankan supaya pensyariatan poligami ini dilaksanakan secara adil bukan sahaja di kalangan orang yang bergelar kaya harta tetapi bagi semua yang berpendapatan sederhana yang masih mampu hidup di dalam keadaan sederhana (bukan mewah). Pokoknya berlaku adil kepada isteri-isteri.

Banyak masalah sosial akan selesai seperti wanita-wanita yang lanjut usia akan mengecapi alam perkahwinan dan alam keibuan, janda-janda akan terbela nasib mereka, di mana inilah yang dipanggil penjagaan hak-hak wanita. Itulah keadilan di dalam Islam dan bagaimana Islam mencari penyelesaiaan di dalam isu-isu sosial. Itulah kebijaksanaan Allah di dalam mengurus dan mengatur kehidupan hamba-hambaNya.

Posted in Harian Metro 28/07/08.

Jodoh bermadu di usia muda

Oleh Mohd Rafi Mamat
am@hmetro.com.my
KUANTAN: “Saya reda dan menerima ketentuan Allah mendapat jodoh dalam usia muda walaupun sebagai isteri kedua,” kata Siti Aminah Zainuddin, 19, anggota kumpulan nasyid Mawaddah, semalam.

Menurutnya, dia bersyukur apabila dipertemukan jodoh dengan Shamsul Amir Shahbudin, 38, seorang ahli perniagaan kerana dia bukan saja seorang lelaki baik, tetapi bertanggungjawab serta mentaati suruhan Allah.

“Madu saya, Masitah Abdullah, 36, dapat menerima saya dengan hati terbuka, malah menganggap saya sebagai adiknya apabila dapat tinggal dalam satu rumah.

“Bagi saya poligami itu indah dan berupaya memberi pahala besar jika seseorang wanita itu memahaminya,” katanya yang kini tinggal di Temerloh.

Siti Aminah ditemui pada majlis perkahwinan secara beramai-ramai di Dewan Mat Kilau di sini, semalam.
Seramai lapan pasangan terdiri daripada kakitangan Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd diraikan pada majlis bermakna itu.

Majlis anjuran syarikat berkenaan itu sebagai menyahut seruan kerajaan untuk berjimat-cermat.
Bagi Masitah, perkahwinan kedua suaminya adalah hadiah bermakna sempena hari jadinya ke-38.

“Tiada hadiah lebih istimewa dan berharga kecuali membenarkan suami mendirikan rumah tangga buat kali kedua dengan wanita pilihannya.

“Saya kenal dengan madu saya, dia seorang wanita baik dan berhati mulia,” katanya yang mempunyai lapan anak.
Menurutnya, dia gembira dan terharu apabila dapat menyaksikan majlis persandingan mereka berdua.

Shamsul Amir pula berkata, perkahwinan keduanya itu dianggap fitrah dan kejayaan perjuangannya terhadap poligami yang sukar diterima kebanyakan wanita.
Dia mahu membuktikan madu yang dianggap racun oleh kebanyakan wanita sebenarnya indah selain memberikan pahala besar kepada mereka.

“Kedua-dua isteri saya mempunyai hubungan yang baik…mereka bukan saja boleh bekerja bersama, tetapi turut tinggal serumah,” katanya.

Selimut Putih

Untukmu Mujahidah Sejati

Generasi Warisan

Menuju Wawasan

Sebuah cerpen…

Solat tiang agama

Ahmad terasa ingin menangis sekuat hati bila mengenangkan dosa-dosa yang telah dilakukannya. Tetapi airmatanya tidak keluar. Tidak tahu apa sebabnya. Adakah hatinya telah keras. Sekeras batu. Sekeras logam. Itulah yang menjadi tanda tanya. Dulu semasa zaman muda remaja semasa masih menuntut di universiti Ahmad cukup cepat sensitif dan mengalirkan airmata bila disentuh dengan peringatan-peringatan, pesanan-pesanan tentang kematian, tanggungjawab sebagai seorang hamba Allah dan tanggungjawab atau taklif dakwah kepada masyarakat. Begitu juga bila program-program yang berbentuk kerohanian seperti qiyamullail semasa di universiti, Ahmad pasti datang dan kadang-kadang menangis bila imam sujud panjang. Dia sedar akan tanggungjawabnya sebagai seorang Muslim mesti berdakwah mengajak orang terdekat terdiri dari kawan-kawan, sanak-saudara supaya mereka memahami Islam sebagaimana yang difahami olehnya.

 

Ilmu sebagai persiapan untuk berdakwah kepada masyarakat

Hatinya tenang dan tenteram bila teringatkan peristiwa bersama-sama rakan yang sentiasa memahami agama dan mengajaknya ke program-program untuk mengubat hati. Muka mereka berseri-seri, bersih dan menggambarkan keikhlasan. Muka mereka bermatlamat jelas. Begitulah bila hati sudah dididik dengan jalan yang lurus. Kehidupan di dunia hanya sementara. Hati yang sudah merasa suka dan seronok dengan kebaikan. Hati yang cinta untuk berbuat baik. Hati yang mencintai ukhuwwah semata-mata kerana Allah. Bukan kerana hendakkan kesenangan dunia seperti pangkat besar, kereta besar, rumah besar, harta yang banyak. Niat mesti ikhlas. Dakwah kerana Allah Taala sahaja. Bukan kerana yang lain yang bersifat tidak kekal. Macam perkahwinan juga. Pilih isteri yang beragama bukan hanya yang berwajah cantik kerana rupa yang cantik tidak tahan lama 50, 60 tahun akan jadi berkedut. Tak boleh hendak elak. Itu realiti. Harta juga akan habis atau hilang, tetapi kalau dapat isteri yang beragama dia akan jaga maruah dia, jaga harta dan rumahtangga suami dia dan yang penting didik dan tarbiyah anak-anak dia dengan akhlak dan agama yang elok.

Kali ini Ahmad benar-benar bertekad mahu membersihkan dosa-dosanya. Kerana dia berasa takut maut akan datang menjemputnya dalam keadaan dirinya yang penuh dengan dosa-dosa dan tidak sempat bertaubat. Dia menanam keazaman untuk kembali kepada Allah Taala dengan banyak membaca Al-Qur’an, banyak berzikir dan beristighfar memohon keampunan kepada Tuhan. Ya, dia menyesal dengan sesungguh hati kerana ilmu yang dipelajari semasa di universiti dahulu tidak dipraktikkannya di dalam kehidupan sekarang. Sepatutnya dia sudah menjadi seorang yang kuat beribadat dan kuat menyampaikan dakwah kepada masyarakat kerana dia sudah memahami taklif ini lama dahulu. Tapi dia merasakan bahawa imannya semakin lemah kerana kesibukan urusan dunia, mengaut kekayaan dunia. Namun pada hakikatnya dia tidaklah menjadi kaya juga. Sesiapa yang menolong Allah, maka Allah akan menolongnya. Dia berazam akan bergiat dengan memperbaiki dirinya dan berdakwah mengajak orang lain terutama generasi muda untuk kembali memahami agama yang sebenarnya. Dia bersyukur kepada tuhan kerana dia dapat mempelajari agama semasa usianya masih muda belia. Itulah maknannya ada orang lain yang berdakwah kepadanya. Jadi mengapa tidak dia berdakwah kepada generasi muda ini supaya selepas mereka memahami agama mereka akan berdakwah kepada orang lain pula satu hari nanti. Sudah jadi macam sistem MLM tapi yang ini ganjarannya berapa. Harta dunia akan habis. Tapi pahala memahamkan orang ke jalan Allah berapakah ganjarannya kalau hendak dihitung. Fikir Ahmad sambil bergerak ke masjid untuk solat Asar berjemaah.

QUOTATIONS ABOUT POLYGAMY – 6 (END)

A line of demarcation has to be drawn between instituting a principle and misusing it. In as far as the role of legislation in rectifying our society and remedying its ailments is concerned‑ in terms of an imperative need to mete out justice by a polygamist ‑ let researchers be primarily occupied with adjusting the yardstick, as well as the manifestations, of justice if they so desire. Any attempt at undermining and deriding polygamy in principle is doomed as being of no avail. I can even rightfully claim that contemptuously regarding polygamy has been an immediate fallout of a sort of new Crusade against Muslim nations. 

 

Several social classes now do regard polygamy as something evil, while they consider adultery and fornication insignificant entertainment! The problem has come to relate to understanding and acknowledging the entire religion.

 

Against such a background, to attempt restricting polygamy is to repulsively attempt to soil the entire society in the name of law and at the expense of Islam.

 

Many a prophet and good worshipping man had more than one wife and the practice was not believed to impinge upon his piety or fearing Allah. Books of the Old Testament stand witness thereof.

 

Islam does not regard abstaining from marriage a sort of worshipping, as monks do, nor does it consider keeping four wives a sin, as Christianity is falsely claimed to have branded. (As we have seen before, none of the four gospels forbids polygamy: the author Hamdi Shafeek).

 

To sin is really to give a free rein to sexual desire, or to inhibit it, letting it trickle down as underground water trickles down under the desert.[1][4]

 

[1] “Stolen Moments”, a book by Anees Mansour, Daru‑shruk edition. 

[2] “History and Goals of Orientalism”, published by “Al‑Nahda” bookshop.

[3] “Al‑Musfirnoun” newspaper of 6 June 1997.

[4] Fiqh AI‑Sira”, (Understanding the Prophet’s Biography), by Sheikh 

 

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QUOTATIONS ABOUT POLYGAMY – 5

In spite of all those reasons pleaded as warranting polygamy, Islam has adamantly forbidden that polygamy be intended for giving vent to some men’s sexual lust and a slant for physical pleasure and domination. 

 

 

A gain should correspondingly be met by a loss; easier access to sensual pleasure should be ensued by burdening duties. 

 

 

Hence, when embarking upon polygamy justice has to be assuredly and safeguardedly meted out. If a husband fears doing injustice to himself, children or wives, polygamy is thus forbidden. A polygamist should be able to provide for the necessary expenses. If the lawgiver, in which case it is Allah who has given out Shari’aa, regards inability to provide for expenses as an excuse not to marry an even one lady, such inability would rather prohibit a man to marry more than one.

 

 

The lawgiver enjoins fasting on unmarried youth so long as they cannot marry , thus ordering a man whom is unable even to have one wife and be sexually abstinent. Allah thus says in the surah of “Al‑Nour” (Light), “Let those who do not find the wherewithal for marriage keep themselves sexually abstinent until Allah gives them means out of His grace”. 

 

 

What about a man who has only one wife? He would rather be patient and had better be sexually abstinent; the more wives a husband keeps, the more children he is likely to have. Islam enjoins father to deal with children on an equal footing in terms of upbringing, education, honoring and loving as well as means of living however divergent their mothers may be. A father with many children should then be cautious enough not to be capricious when handling his children born to diverse mothers; as a husband a man should imperatively administer justice to his wives. 

 

 

However, if a heart inclination is too stubborn to be controlled, every husband can fully observe the rules and guidelines in question, rightfully weigh his behavior and to fear Allah in whatever Allah has made him guardian of in terms of a wide spectrum of deeds and circumstances.

 

 

These are the broader confines of justice as attached by Allah to polygamy. He who can fully fulfill such limits may get married to two, three or even four wives; otherwise, he has to suffice himself with only one wife, in response to what Allah says:, “If you fear injustice, then keep only one wife”. 

 

 

I have seen some journalists objecting to polygamy as licensed by Islam and wondering if a man is empowered to have as many as four wives, why is a woman not allowed to have as many husbands as four?

 

 

Having thoroughly looked at those wondering journalists, I have found them out mostly lewd, cuckolds or pimps. To my own much surprise, they are leading a life bristling with adultery, aversing most to create a chaste family. 

 

To answer this invalid question, I have to clearly state that the ultimate goal of sexual relationship is to create a family and rear children in a climate of clean custody. This cannot ever be achieved in a home where a lot of people frequent, and fight to grab, a woman whose prospective offspring cannot be identified as having descended from any of them. In addition, a woman’s sexual role is that of a receiver, rather than a doer of the action, of the one being led and carried, rather than of the leader, carrier. One can visualize a locomotive pulling four carriages, rather than a carriage pulling four locomotives. Men are disposed by nature to maintain and sustain women, and to dismiss this fact as allegedly untrue is colliding with the natural course of things. 

 

 

When some of the commons, verily unfortunately, unheed these confines attached to polygamy and go keeping as many wives as four without realizing the sense of justice they are enjoined to administer ‑ but rather to answer the call of lust ‑ only gross slanting and inequality will be the result. 

 

 

Although a man cannot even provide for himself, he is in pursuit of another marriage; whereas he is unable to be in charge of only one wife, he goes seeking another. A polygamist may not be dealing equally, rather capriciously, with his children in terms of education and portioning out wealth; he may take another wife only to desert the first one and leave her as if hanging in the air. 

 

 

Conversely, although a man may be wealthy enough to marry four women at one and the same time and to provide for whomever children they beget him, he leads a life of sexual begging ad rolling in the bosoms of trollops. 

 

 

Does forbidding polygamy cure a nation’s evils as such? No. To forbid what is permitted is not anything that will be a dilemma in the eye of Islamic legislation. However, if religion had remained silent about its position on polygamy, we would, rather, have made our say on it by clarifying that it is permitted to preserve public interest as above explained. 

 

to be continued…

 

QUOTATIONS ABOUT POLYGAMY – 4

Late Sheikh Muhammad el‑Ghazali giving his Opinion:

 

Steady urban and economic laws inevitably govern life, whether they be known in which case they will be cautioned against ‑ or unwittingly handled, with their impact, still, spontaneously unfolding itself.

 

 It is social circumstances, which govern how many women an individual man should have a relation with. To overlook such social circumstances is to resist fait accompli to no avail, as the ratio of men to women can either be equal on both sides or tilting in favor of one side against the other.

 

 

 If the men‑to‑women ratio is equal or when men do outnumber women, polygamy has to spontaneously fall out of practice, with every man contenting himself with the woman coercively portioned out to him.

 

 

 If women do outnumber men, only one course of action has to be opted for out of the three following options: 

 

 

(1)   to judge that some women be deprived for life of having their sexual needs met;

 

 

(2)   to permit keeping mistresses, with adultery acknowledged as thus legitimate;

 

 

(3)   or to allow polygamy. 

 

 

A woman is widely believed even before a man ‑ to desist from either deprivation or a disobediently sinful bed. With the situation as such, she has to share another wife’s husband, from whom her would‑be children will have a lineal descent, resulting in polygamy ‑ as stipulated by Islam ‑ being inevitably acknowledged. 

 

 

Moreover, men do diverge widely in term of sexual desire: some men are so healthy, strong in erotica sentiments and leading a luxurious life while other men are not. To deal on a par with both a sexually‑rigid man from his earlier periods of adolescence and another who is so sexually energetic that he can be easily excited is a matter which widely misses the mark of justice. 

 

 

Are gluttons not allowed to have more amounts of food than allowed for people with less appetite? So, why not sexual‑wise? It is the same token working here. 

 

 

There is another wise reason for allowing polygamy: a wife may be so feeble, diseased, infertile or old‑aged that she cannot any longer satisfy her husband’s sexual needs, so why should she be so helplessly let down to be victimized by these excuses? 

 

 

Good company has to be retained by a husband, who is then fully empowered to bring in another wife, or other wives, who can fully perform a wife’s role. 

 

 

to be continued…

 

QUOTATIONS ABOUT POLYGAMY – 3

Dr. Nadia Hashem goes on to expound her viewpoint by saying that a husband has perfect right to marry another wife, or other wives, whether his first wife consents or not. This is because it is a husband who is in command of a marriage contract; in a capacity as such, he is empowered to dispose at will, on condition that a wife has not attached, when writing out the marriage certificate, a condition that her husband should not take another wife, or other wives, in addition to her.

 

Dr. Nadia Hashem further clarifies that women in Muslim societies do not acknowledge polygamy any more: whether they be educated or not, wealthy or poor, urban or rural, as well as religious or not. Corrupt common practices ‑ deeply sending out roots ‑ religious un-enlightenment, dominating Western precepts are gravely implicated for Muslim women’s rejection of polygamy. Our society unduly upholds a common practice of turning down polygamy as inequality being done to first wives. However, Shari’aa stresses as corrupt and invalid any practice which runs on a collision course with religion. Having only scarce knowledge of religion sends a woman averting from polygamy. If she had been an utterly Muslim woman, she would have assuredly realized that she cannot, nor does she have any right to, head off a second, third or even fourth marriage by her husband, so long as her husband fulfills her own rights. Unfortunately, women’s education, domination of secular precepts and the so‑termed emancipation of women have all been seriously fallaciously instilling ‑ throughout long decades ‑ into women’s minds that polygamy holds women in low esteem.[1][3]

 to be continued…

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