Polygamy: Why Is It Permitted in Islam?

Question:

As-Salamu `alaykum, I’m a Muslim that lives in the US and all the time people ask me questions about Islam and I always answer them based on logic and thinking. But there is only one question that I don’t know how to answer it; it’s about the fact that men are allowed to marry up to four wives at a time. What is the reason behind that and how can we answer this question in women’s right perspective of view? If women and men are equal in Islam, then why can’t women marry four husbands? I face this question all the time and I don’t know how to answer it. I prefer the answer in English so I can make people read it and so they can understand more. Jazakum Allahu Khayran!

Answer:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we commend your keenness on getting your self well-acquainted with Islam and its teachings, and also appreciate your keenness to teach others about the true nature of Islam, which is the way Allah has chosen for the welfare of His servants.

Islam is a way of life consonant with nature, providing human solutions to complex situations and avoiding extremes. This characteristic of Islam can be observed most clearly in its stand concerning the taking of more than one wife. Islam permits the Muslim to marry more than one woman in order to resolve some very pressing human problems, individual as well as social.

In his answer to the question in point, the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti, member of the North American Fiqh Council, states:

“First, understanding Islam is based on wahy (revelation) rather than reason. The principle of reason is used to further understand the wahy but not to judge or rule.

Second, the majority of Prophets were married to many wives, whereas they are considered the models for humanity for every sort of activity or style of life.

Third, in reality, you can hardly find one Muslim out of tens-of-thousands who is married to more than one wife. But, he cannot have affairs or dating with any woman. In non-Muslim societies, more than 65% of married men have affairs with more than 2, 3 or 4 women. There are more than 45% of women who have affairs the same way outside of marriage. All these practices are correct for the people of reason. They admit any zina (fornication/adultery) but they don’t admit any alternative for keeping people in cleanliness and pure solutions.

Fourth, if you want a woman to marry more than one man, this is not the only misconception we hear from people who allege they are people of reason and intellect. But I don’t need to make any comment other than saying this question is answered by what Allah, the Creator, has made of laws. He knows the best what is convenient and what is inconvenient for man or woman.”

For further elaboration on why Islam does not allow a woman to marry more than husband at one time, you are advised to read: Between Polygyny and Polyandry

Shedding more light on why Islam allows polygamy, the European Council for Fatwa and Research issued the following Fatwa:

“Prior to Islam, men used to marry as many women as they wished without any limits nor conditions. When Islam was revealed, it prescribed a limit to the number of women one may marry and also placed conditions for this to take place.

As for the limit, Islam prescribed that the maximum number of women a man can marry is four, as stated in the Qur’an: “Marry women of your choice, two or three or four…” (An-Nisa’: 3)

As for the condition, it is the confidence of the man that he can actually be totally just and fair between his wives, otherwise he is not allowed to re-marry. The Qur’an stated: “…but if you fear that you will not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one…” (An-Nisa’: 3) In addition, the other conditions of any marriage must also be present, such as the ability to provide for the family and the ability to satisfy the sexual needs of the woman.

The reason for the allowance for a man to marry more than one woman is because Islam is a realistic religion and one which is not based upon idealistic notions which would cause real problems of everyday life without solution or treatment. It is very probable that a man marrying a second wife could be solving a problem, in that his first wife is incapable of bearing children or has extended menstruation cycles which result in his sexual needs being unsatisfied. The first wife could be ill and thus, instead of divorcing her and leaving her alone, could marry a second wife and remain next to his first wife, and so on. This allowance also solves the problem of a widow who needs a husband to care for her but does not wish for an unmarried young man, similar to a divorced woman with children. Indeed this allowance may solve a social problem which arises from the high proportion of good women who want to marry in comparison to able men. This is a common problem which increases particularly in the aftermath of wars and the like. The fact, in this case, is that the extra women do one of three following options:

1) That they remain unmarried for the rest of their lives, and are thus deprived from being a wife and a mother, which is a great injustice.
2) That they fulfill their sexual needs regardless of decrees of religion and acceptable behavior, which will result in a tragic loss in this life and the hereafter.
3) That they agree to marry an already married man who is capable of meeting their living and sexual needs and who is confident in his ability to deal fairly and justly between his wives.

As for those who say that this allowance is often abused by some men, it is an unfortunate fact that many rights are abused or are used in inappropriate manners. This does not mean that we must cancel these rights. Indeed, there are many men who abuse their first and only wives, so does this lead us to cancel marriage in its entirety?

Freedoms are often abused. Should we cancel freedoms? We see that states and governments abuse elections; would it be right to cancel these processes? In fact we find that authority and government is frequently abused, so would it be acceptable to cancel authority and let society decline into a state of chaos? It would be better, instead of calling for the cancellation of these rights, to set up boundaries and regulations which would limit the possibility of such rights being abused.”

Does Inability to Treat Wives Equally Prohibit Polygamy?

Question:

Dear scholars, As-salamu `alaykum. What is the meaning of Allah’s words: “Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so)” (An-Nisa’: 129)? Does it imply that polygamy is prohibited as some claim? Jazakum Allah khayran.

Answer:

Wa `alaykum as-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His sake.

A man’s obligation to treat his wives equally is concerned with supplying them with equal provision and equal division of time (with regard to abode). However, equal division of love is beyond human capacity; hence, one will not be accounted for it before Almighty Allah. Unfortunately, there are many countries that allow men to practice adultery but prohibit polygamy.

The eminent Muslim scholar Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi states:

“Citing the above mentioned verse as evidence of prohibiting polygamy is rejected, as it means changing words from their context. Moreover, it implies accusing the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) of not understanding the Qur’an or of purposely not following it, for almost all of them married more than one wife.

The verse in fact indicates that absolute justice between wives is beyond human capacity, for it involves exact equality in everything, even in the distribution of affection, love, and sexual satisfaction, which is beyond man’s power. A man may not help being attracted to one of his wives more than to the others; hearts are within the Hand of Almighty Allah Who changes them however He wills. [A man’s feelings are not subject to his will.]

Besides, if those who claim that the above mentioned verse prohibits polygamy contemplate the rest of the verse, they will realize that it includes a refutation of this very claim. Allah Almighty says in the same verse: “But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful” (An-Nisa’: 129). In these Divine words, Almighty Allah directs His servants to the fact that they will not be able to practice absolute justice between their wives with regard to love, but this does not mean that one of them should disincline from the wife (or wives) that he is not attracted to as much as another, in favor of the one whom he is attached to.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) dealt equally with his wives concerning provision and abode and then would beseech Almighty Allah saying: “O Allah! This is my division with respect to what I can provide for (that is, I deal with my wives with fairness and justice as much as I can concerning what is in my capacity). So I beseech You not to account me for what You can control but I cannot (that is, my feelings towards them).”

However, it is quite strange to find that there are some Arab Muslim countries that prohibit polygamy but allow adultery, the sin about which Almighty Allah says: “And come not near unto adultery. Lo! it is an abomination and an evil way” (Al-Israa’ 17:32). Such countries do not forbid adultery except in certain cases, such as when a man forces a woman to commit adultery with him, or in cases of marital infidelity in which the spouse who was betrayed does not forgive his/her partner.

The former Grand Sheikh of Al-Azhar, Sheikh `Abdel-Halim Mahmoud (may Allah have mercy on him) told me that a Muslim man from some Arab Muslim country that prohibits polygamy married a second wife in secret. He did not register the marriage contract lest he be punished by the man-made law of his country. The police suspected and followed him until they arrested him in his second wife’s home. Facing him with the accusation that he had a second wife and thus breached the laws of the country, he evaded the accusation saying, “Who told you she is my wife? She is not; she is my mistress, and we make love to one another from time to time.” Upon that, the investigators apologized to him, “We are so sorry for this misunderstanding. We thought that she was your wife. We did not know she is your mistress!” Thus, the man was set free, for his country regards adultery as a right of personal freedom, while it forbids polygamy!”

Justice among Wives

 

Question:

My husband was away on business for five months and after he came back he told me that he’d like to marry a second wife. Hearing him I was upset when I know that his would-be second wife lives in Morocco and I am in UK. How can he divide the days equally if he spends more time in Morocco than here in the UK. How can he give us equal treatment? Please reply as soon as possible.

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, thank you very much for having confidence in us and we implore Allah to guide you to the best and to solve your marital problem soon, Insha’Allah.

First of all, it is to be stated that “Islam provides a system, which regulates family life as well as the life of the community as a whole. In every respect of its legislation and in its regulation of relations between various groups and individuals in society, Islam maintains justice, fair treatment and a balance between rights and responsibilities. In this way it provides a solid basis for a strong, closely knit community.

Because the woman is the weaker partner in the family relationship, Islam places strong emphasis on the importance of being fair to women, and not to abuse them in any way. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) describes those who are kind and good to their wives as the best of people. He (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: “The best among you are those who are best to your households; I am the best among you to my house-hold.”
On his deathbed, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) continued to remind the followers of three areas as needing continuous attention. The first concerns man’s relationship with Allah while the other two are concerned with human relations, concentrating on the need to protect the rights of two vulnerable groups in society, namely, women and slaves. He said repeatedly: “Attend to your prayers. Do not ask those whom your right hands possess to accomplish for you what they cannot do. Fear Allah in your treatment of women.”“

The above quotation is excerpted, with modifications, from: www.islamicity.com

Focusing on the necessity of being just among wives, we’d cite for you the word of the eminent Muslim scholar, Sheik Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, in his well-known book, The Lawful and the Prohibited in Islam. He writes:

“The condition which Islam lays down for permitting a man to have more than one wife is confidence on his part that he will be able to deal equitably with his two or more wives in the matter of food, drink, housing, clothing and expenses, as well as in the division of his time between them. Anyone who lacks the assurance that he will be able to fulfill all these obligations with justice and equality is prohibited by Allah Almighty from marrying more than one woman, for Allah says: “But if you fear that you will not be able to do justice (among them), then (marry) only one…” (An-Nisa’: 3)

And the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Anyone who has two wives and does not treat them equally will come on the Day of Resurrection dragging one part of his body which will be hanging down.” (Reported by the compilers of Sunan and by Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim)

The equal treatment mentioned here pertains to the rights of the wives, not to the love the husband feels towed them, for equality in the division of love is beyond human capacity and any imbalance in this regard is forgiven by Allah Almighty who says: “And you will not be able to do justice among (your) wives, however much you may wish to. But do not turn away (from one of them) altogether…” (An-Nisa’: 139)

This is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to divide his time among his wives equally, saying, “O Allah, this is my division in regard to what I can control. Then do not take me to task regarding what Thou controllest and I do not control” (Reported by the compilers of Sunan), referring to the attachment and affection which he felt for one particular wife. And when he planned to go on a journey, Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) would cast lots among his wives, and the one who was chosen by lot would accompany him. (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)”

In conclusion, we would like to advise your husband to fear Allah and to be just in dealing with you and his second wife, in order to be spared of Allah’s Punishment on the Day of Resurrection. He can simply attain such justice if he fears Allah and seeks His Guidance. Still, the issue requires mutual understanding between you and your husband. With your concerted efforts, you will live in harmony, even if he is married to a second wife!

May Allah guide you to the straight path and direct you to that which pleases Him, Amen.

Polygamy: Norm or Exception?

Question:

I had previously understood that polygamy is allowed in Islam. Recently, however, I was informed that Islam is in fact against polygamy, yet still there are some that say polygamy is the right of man and is the norm and not the exception. What is your opinion on this matter?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we would like to thank you for your question and the great confidence you place in us. May Allah reward you abundantly for your interest in knowing the teachings of Islam!

As regards the issue you raised, the European Council for Fatwa and Research issued the following Fatwa:

“There is a consensus amongst Muslims, historically and currently, that polygamy is permissible, and that it is not allowed for a Muslim to have more than four wives at any one time. Further, that if a Muslim has two or more wives he should practice equality of provision and abode amongst them. For Allah Almighty says: “…marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.” (An-Nisa’: 3)

We know of no clear evidence from the Qur’an and Sunnah, which encourages the Muslim to either keep to one wife, or to polygamy. However, it has been narrated that Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Whosoever had two wives and treats one of them more favorably than the other will come on the Day of Judgment bent to one side.” (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, An-Nasa’i and Ibn Majah) This hadith warns against polygamy should the man not be able to practice equality amongst his wives.”

Why Polygamy Is Allowed in Islam?

Question:

Respected scholars, as-salamu `alaykum. In Islam, it is said that men and women are given equal status and rights. But I do feel that women have not received equal status and rights as that of men. Islam permits polygamy for men. At times of need polygamy is permitted. Can it be accepted by women? But sometimes a man has no need to remarry and still he remarries another woman in spite of the unwillingness of his wife, for he is attracted towards the other woman’s beauty. Is this permitted in Islam, as the wife might be hurt a lot? I also have seen many women hurt for their husband’s remarrying when there is no need. Islam teaches men to be kind, polite towards their wives and also not to hurt them. But does Islam permit men to hurt their wives when it is the case of polygamy? Did Allah create man in a way that he cannot be loyal to his only wife? Jazakum Allahu khayran.

Answer:

Wa`alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His sake.

There is an age-old consensus among Muslims that concludes that polygamy is permissible. The condition which Islam lays down for permitting a man to have more than one wife is that he has confidence on his part that he will be able to deal equitably with his wives in the matter of providing food, housing, clothing, and expenses, and that he will also be able to divide his time between them. Any man who doubts that he will be able to fulfill all these obligations with justice and equality would be prohibited by Allah Almighty from marrying more than one woman. Further, a Muslim is prohibited to abuse this right. For Muslims living in non-Muslim lands, polygamy may not be practiced if it is illegal in a person’s country of residence. So a Muslim living in those countries has to abide by such laws and not to violate them as long as he resides in that country.

In his response to your question, Sheikh Muhammad Nur Abdullah, president of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA) and member of the Fiqh Council of North America, states the following:

The relationship between a husband and wife is based on ma`roof or kindness, compassion, and mercy. Both husband and wife are supposed to work at pleasing each other and dealing kindly towards each other.When it comes to the rights of both men and women in Islam, we should believe that Almighty Allah is the JUST and the WISE. So He only gives people what is good for them and only demands what is for their interest and common good. The problem is that we sometimes look very selfishly and try to have all the good for ourselves without looking at the society at large.As for polygamy, it is allowed in Islam. It is to be used for the purposes for which it is permitted and not to be abused in any case. It is true that Allah permits the man to marry four wives, but if we think in neutral terms and try to investigate the benefit of that without thinking only of our own interests, we will find the wisdom and significance of polygamy.For example, if a wife puts herself in the shoes of a widow who does not have anyone to care for or look after her, and thinks sincerely of a solution to her problem, she will find that she would love to be a second wife rather than to stay as a widow and continue to suffer the problems in raising children and having the same life as her peers do. So there is always wisdom behind polygamy.

As for hurting the feelings of the first wife, I personally believe that a husband should discuss this issue with his wife and they should both reach a reasonable agreement. If the wife finds herself unable to accept her husband taking another wife, she has every right to demand divorce and to get her rights fully and separate in kindness. But if she thinks reasonably and not emotionally and weighs the pros and cons of being divorced or of being a cowife, she would be able to reach a better conclusion to save her family life and marriage.

This does not mean men are allowed to abuse the practice of polygamy. It is only allowed for whoever is able to treat all wives equally and fairly. If he cannot be just and fair, it would be forbidden to take another wife.